Peer To Peer Support For Addiction

[Deleted member 20280]

Firstly I would like to take the opportunity to introduce myself and let members know a bit more about me.

My name is Laurence Davey and I was born to Bryan and Patricia back in 1971.We moved to North Devon when I was but a few years old as my father had secured a better Job with a Better employer after my elder brother was killed in an RTC involving a drink driver back in 1970. The situation had become untenable for my parents to cope with anymore back in my birth town in Gloucester-shire.

My earliest memory of being abused as a child stems right back to infancy. I was then abused on a daily basis by a family member, a supposed close family friend (sexual assault and repeated rape - male on male), my own peers and strangers alike as I was the only young male Ballet Dancer in the southwest of England at the time.

I do not regret one moment of my life now and am glad I trained as a Ballet Dancer. *Even though I did have to wear a Tutu and Leotard on many occasions*

When I was sixteen years old my whole world collapsed as a result of my own stupidity after breaking my left ankle playing football with my mates instead of going to my Ballet rehearsal for Swan Lake.

So we fast forward to 1989 when I joined her Majesties Armed forces..... Yes I agree a bit of a career change there but one I had contemplated since childhood as both my grandfathers had served the Military during WW 2. I will leave my Military career alone now because it is my worst time to even try and remember and I am in a personal battle with myself and my memories of that time.

To bring this to a close regarding myself I became addicted to cannabis at a very early age. I have had an addictive nature ever since and have been addicted to most narcotics in my life and have been a heavy alcoholic for approximately 23 years now.

I now face the fact that all this abuse towards myself and my body has finally taken it's toll. I have recently been diagnosed as having "Pseudo_Non_Epileptic_Seizures". I am also currently awaiting test results for stomach cancer as a result of my alcoholism.

I feel very passionate about helping others with PTSD as this forum has been instrumental in my own recovery since I joined the forum in 1993.

I offer this help and support not as an expert in the field of PTSD or addiction but simply as a fellow forum member to anyone who wishes or needs help or support with their own addictions.

All members alike are hereby invited to join this thread for open support from all forum members regarding their struggles with addiction, or any member is free to PM me by Private Conversation to seek my own personal advise in this issue. Also any member is clearly free to PM any other member for one-on one peer support or we can support each other as a group via this thread.

**Members are reminded that at anytime they can use the anonymous feature**

Kindest regards.

Laurence Davey (Mr Laurie)

 

[Nikie]

Saying this for the first time in my life but its so real and fighitlg it all day !!
I have been struggling for years not to be addictive ...so far so good .. I just crave to have some mint alcohol anatying will do. .. Urghhh somedays I walk pass a shop selling alcohol and I have to just control this urge of going in and buy the most horrible stuff they can sell me. Thinking I can rather buy food for my kids ... I do go in some times feeling so bad . making this quilt feeling grow inside me.. I don't think I am alcoholic but I can became one very fast
I would like to smoke some real bad shit !!!! Just once get this feeling of being noting and nobody and I dunno just maybe OD and die that would be great!! At this moment the money issue is helping me !!!

Reading about your life Mr laurie make me ashamed of myself having this minor struggles asif they are so big!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@Nikie please do not belittle your own personal struggle with addiction, each addicted sufferer lives day to day with their own personal issues and demons.

Addictive behavior is not bred into us it is learnt by us as a coping mechanism to block out the bad times. People say rather flippantly "once an addict, always an addict". Similarly as people flippantly say that an abuse victim will inevitably turn into an abuser themselves, this is totally wrong in every way possible.

I have worked within the United Kingdom Law Enforcement area for over 20 years now and have seen many cases of child abuse, adult on adult abuse, sexual abuse and I can first handedly state categorically that this is NOT the case.

I have been an addict now for nearly 30 years in one way or another because of my struggles with the memory of trauma I suffered over those years.

Your struggles are personal to your trauma and can be managed or even overcome, the memory of the trauma that we suffer as children will never leave us but just as with Addiction we can learn to manage these, just like we learnt to cope and manage the triggers that cause our emotions to over-boil and our PTSD cup then overflows causing us to have mental relapses.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I opened this thread for all members to be as open with themselves about their struggles with Addictive Behaviour and I re-iterate that I am no expert in this field of mental health and do not profess to be one either. I simply offer support to all members as a peer with experience of my own addictive behaviour over the years.

If I can help even one member to come to terms, manage their addictions whilst I am still struggling with my own then I will have won the war to coin a phrase.

It is a personal mission of mine as is well known within the membership of this forum that I no longer wallow in my own issues but wish only yo offer an understanding shoulder for members to lean on.

Yes I am facing a life expectancy of only 6 months if my cancer is proven to be malignant. However in the meantime I could chose to simply bury my head straight back in the sand or I can stand and fight, I chose the latter.

Laurence