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BloomInWinter
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Dear (((((Girl3)))))....I'm so sorry for all you have endured.
I know you already know this....that an 11 yr. old never has 'an affair'.
...that is an introject that abusers, enablers, or mentally ill adults use to mischaracterize blatent abuse if the abused child could ever carry equal responsibility. I'm so sorry that lie was used against you...probably to protect the abuser or the institution employing that person.
You deserved to hear that NONE of that was your fault. That was WRONG...and should have been dealt with properly.
Good for you for seeking healing!
My psychiatrist has told me repeatedly never to use the word affair if the statue of the law would decree that it was stautory rape. I repeatedly forget. Not because I want to forget but it (the blame) has always been put on me - including by my parents.
All I can say is that if you are not at the top of the totem pole, being at the bottom sucks.
When I was an attending and a female person of power (I say that for a reason) - I told the chairman of my department about seeing with my own eyes a medical student coming out of the on-call-room of a faculty person (there is NEVER any reason for a medical student to be in a faculty call room - med students have their own call room) - I complained to the chair because when I spoke to the faculty member in private he told me to F*** off. My chairman told me the faculty member in question was much more famous than me and that I should show deference. The faculty member was male. The chairman was male. I was the only female section chief. I had no secretary (the only section chief to have no secretary). The whole matter was swept under the carpet - the ACGME maintains that faculty are NEVER allowed to have sexual relationships with medical students or residents. Eventually I left that insitution.
Joe Paterno is famous. Sandusky was near famous. I'm thinking someone said to show deference.
All I can say is that if you are not at the top of the totem pole, being at the bottom sucks.
When I was an attending and a female person of power (I say that for a reason) - I told the chairman of my department about seeing with my own eyes a medical student coming out of the on-call-room of a faculty person (there is NEVER any reason for a medical student to be in a faculty call room - med students have their own call room) - I complained to the chair because when I spoke to the faculty member in private he told me to F*** off. My chairman told me the faculty member in question was much more famous than me and that I should show deference. The faculty member was male. The chairman was male. I was the only female section chief. I had no secretary (the only section chief to have no secretary). The whole matter was swept under the carpet - the ACGME maintains that faculty are NEVER allowed to have sexual relationships with medical students or residents. Eventually I left that insitution.
Joe Paterno is famous. Sandusky was near famous. I'm thinking someone said to show deference.
I dont really believe there is altruism-a long philosophical debate I know and respect the opinions of those who believe in altruistic acts. I am not special, I am very ordinary, and I try to do the right thing. I hate to admit that after all of the ptsd symptoms I currently have, I doubt if I would be able to respond the same and have any amount of equilibrium in my life. Im sure I would have to muster up the strength to do the right thing if faced with it, but I have to say that I think that one of the reasons I am content to isolate is that it leaves me knowing almost nothing about anyone. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
Girl13, I am so sorry that these things have happened to you and that nobody protected you. None of this was your fault. Bloomin said it so well. There was no affair, only abuse. There was an inequity of power and I hope you know that. I had small incidents happen when I was young, and managed to escape what could have been serious consequences. I think I had a guardian angel. However, I kept my mouth shut about relatives who had made an attempt until I was about 20 yrs old, and I was afraid for other young female relatives-only then did I tell, and in the confidence of close family, not really doing anything to prevent it. Once matured, it became very important for me to do the right thing.
I question how much is twisted in the media in this case. Time will tell.
Girl13, I am so sorry that these things have happened to you and that nobody protected you. None of this was your fault. Bloomin said it so well. There was no affair, only abuse. There was an inequity of power and I hope you know that. I had small incidents happen when I was young, and managed to escape what could have been serious consequences. I think I had a guardian angel. However, I kept my mouth shut about relatives who had made an attempt until I was about 20 yrs old, and I was afraid for other young female relatives-only then did I tell, and in the confidence of close family, not really doing anything to prevent it. Once matured, it became very important for me to do the right thing.
I question how much is twisted in the media in this case. Time will tell.
Happy Head
Gold Member
Girl13, I'm sorry too, agree with brat17 and BloominWinter. Nothing should happen while being children. Adults should be there to protect them.
BloomInWinter
VIP Member
I do believe that those who step forward are rare....and hence, why they often stand alone. :(
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Just read an update: surprise surprise the football players got special treatment when they got in trouble. "Sew a football player, reap a pedophile?"
It is interesting how much resistance there is to "turning someone in" in general. It is as if people stop their moral development when they are six and are told "don't tattle" - but somehow miss the "handle it yourself" message...Sigh. Moral courage is rare. There is a TED talk by the guy who wrote the Lucifer effect. It is astounding. I'm hoping this whole episode deals a death blow to the "old boys network" in that part of PA.....
It is interesting how much resistance there is to "turning someone in" in general. It is as if people stop their moral development when they are six and are told "don't tattle" - but somehow miss the "handle it yourself" message...Sigh. Moral courage is rare. There is a TED talk by the guy who wrote the Lucifer effect. It is astounding. I'm hoping this whole episode deals a death blow to the "old boys network" in that part of PA.....
BloomInWinter
VIP Member
Ugh. Sandusky Grand Jury report.
He could have victims numbering in the hundreds...and counting their families, thousands.
May our world wake from the enabling avoidance.
[DLMURL]http://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/264787/grand-jury-report.pdf[/DLMURL]
He could have victims numbering in the hundreds...and counting their families, thousands.
May our world wake from the enabling avoidance.
[DLMURL]http://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/264787/grand-jury-report.pdf[/DLMURL]
It is horrible that by the time someone is caught, they have gotten away with this kind of numbers. Sometimes I am ashamed that I am so distrusting of intent-I know I have been an over protective parent, then something like this reminds me of why. People in such a position abuse their power, and others just look away. I hate the anger that I feel from this. I quit listening to news and reading, then there is a part of me that cant just leave it alone.
BloomInWinter
VIP Member
Infuriating. Hoping this goes viral, too...
"The Attorney General prosecuting Penn State officials for failure to report child abuse is herself hiding evidence of thousands of child sexual predators in Pennsylvania, and for the exact same reasons Penn State did: money and reputation.
In charging Penn State officials criminally, Attorney General Linda Kelly alleges (fairly) that their actions led directly to the rape of Pennsylvania children. “The failure of top university officials to act on reports of [Jerry] Sandusky’s alleged sexual misconduct… allowed a predator to walk free for years—continuing to target new victims,” Kelly said in a statement issued by her office.
But Penn State officials are rank amateurs in the cover up business, compared to Attorney General Kelly. And if their inaction is responsible for dozens or scores of new victims, Kelly’s own dirty little secret is now resulting in the entirely predictable and preventable rape of thousands of Pennsylvania children."
Source: [DLMURL]http://protect.org/child-protection/1566-linda-kellys-failure-to-report[/DLMURL]
Yup...
"The Attorney General prosecuting Penn State officials for failure to report child abuse is herself hiding evidence of thousands of child sexual predators in Pennsylvania, and for the exact same reasons Penn State did: money and reputation.
In charging Penn State officials criminally, Attorney General Linda Kelly alleges (fairly) that their actions led directly to the rape of Pennsylvania children. “The failure of top university officials to act on reports of [Jerry] Sandusky’s alleged sexual misconduct… allowed a predator to walk free for years—continuing to target new victims,” Kelly said in a statement issued by her office.
But Penn State officials are rank amateurs in the cover up business, compared to Attorney General Kelly. And if their inaction is responsible for dozens or scores of new victims, Kelly’s own dirty little secret is now resulting in the entirely predictable and preventable rape of thousands of Pennsylvania children."
Source: [DLMURL]http://protect.org/child-protection/1566-linda-kellys-failure-to-report[/DLMURL]
Yup...
Happy Head
Gold Member
wow, unbelievable...
Eleanor
Diamond Member
Just read an editorial piece about denial. In some way it is the opposite of PTSD - with PTSD (in the hypersensitivity/hypervigiliance aspect) denial is IMPOSSIBLE. My husband is big and kind of (ok, really quite) scary looking - and he NOTICES everything. No one ever tries anything bad around him. Got me to thinking about possible upsides... Interesting. What if you (generic, not just you brat17!) or rather everyone couldn't just 'let it slide" or go into denial? How different would the world be....:speechless:
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