I was extremely appreciative of a coworker friend who actually called me to see if she could visit me at my home one day. I never have friends that I would hang out with or had anyone that knew about my problems but she and I just clicked at work and shared some of our experiences such as depression and medication kind of thing. She was a total sweetheart but it was odd that she asked to come visit me. I had just moved into my new home with my boyfriend and had taken about a week of vacation time from work to get moved in.
A little context first. My boyfriend didn’t have a job because he was really lazy and just finished getting his degree in exercise science. Good luck finding a good job with that which he realized after he graduated. We had decided to move from the one bedroom apartment that he had moved in with me a year previously to me buying a house which was only going to be under my name but there was no way I could afford it on my own and needed him to have an income to pay half of everything. I don’t make the best of decisions. He couldn’t find a job so I asked one of my managers if they could give him an interview to see if they would hire him because I was desperate and the company did hire him. I never worried about the possibility of him cheating on me because he is shy and socially awkward and he was a home body and didn’t have any real friends so I felt really secure that he wasn’t capable of cheating. Hahaha!
My coworker came over and she told me that my boyfriend was having sex with a woman at work. She knew this for sure because the woman was constantly telling her about her and him but the woman didn’t know he had a girlfriend let alone me. Of course it was shocking but because of dissociation it didn’t hold too much of an emotional reaction. I was really glad she told me because like I said, there was no way I would ever think he would be capable of cheating. Also, because I have DID, anything hurtful usually gets tucked away so it’s like it doesn’t happen to me but that also caused so many more harm to myself because I continued to stay in this “relationship” which led to marriage which led to so much more trauma.
I needed to be told what he was capable of and I am so grateful to her for telling me. Now, she knew this information first hand and there wasn’t any doubt. As with the information you have, if you’re not exactly sure it’s true or not and you’re not actually “friends” then I hesitate with the idea of you saying something. If someone had come to me with some sort of information of possible cheating from my boyfriend or husband, I still would want to know just so I wouldn’t be so blind and naive and at least check into it. But, that’s just because I trust people that haven’t earned trust.
