People Who Make Fun Of People With Ptsd? Call Them Useless Trash?

[bell]

Are you sure this is all about PTSD? From what you described, it seems like there is a lot more going on here that that.

I know people are mean, but what relevance does PTSD have to an online dating site? And, just to make sure there's no other disorder at play (not victim blaming, I've just known my fair share of pathological liars)... Have you seen any evidence of any of this? Or is this what your friend is telling you?

I say this because I've known people who go to great lengths to blame others when they're actually speculating or going off rumor or lies.

If it is all true, it's time for your friend to take her power back, go to therapy, contact the site admins with proof of her identity (or at least report the profiles). To me, it seems like this is a critical point in your friend's life- she can either be the victim and take it or take steps to reclaim her power and her self.

Bullying is never okay, but finding your sense of strength when being bullied is kryptonite. And often, when you gain your power, they will start backing down.

Also, you as her friend, need to cry for her, get it all out and then show up and be there for her.

 

[whserenitynluv]

@The Albatross @bell thank you so much for your input:) I know it sounds like this might be off, and she is ok, but like I've said we have screen shot the websites. I guess what I was trying to say is the bullying no matter what kind of form is never ok. It is terrible when friends act like they care, you leave them alone and they find ways to continue. The worst part about the situation is they claim to have been bullied, and feel it's ok since it happened to them. They didn't talk to her about it, so this is the way they handle it. Thanks so much for your support guys :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

She should shut down her public profiles and stick to anonymous sites. If she truly is that symptomatic then I don't think she should be anywhere near a dating site.

 

[whserenitynluv]

That's the thing, it is causing symptoms, but this is not a delusion. Three people and two without ptsd have seen it. I agree with you though @Solara :) :hug: She is doing good today though. :) I have reassured her and let her know that it isn't ok. That these so called friends, if they were friends would directly contact her if they cared and to avoid fake profiles all together. She was so afraid she had done something wrong to hurt one friend, and again I reassured her she is safe and that we will take the necessary protocols like before to get the issue resolved. I also let her know that if she felt like she did something wrong to one friend then to apologise, but in no way is it ok for her friends to continue to contact her through any form other than real profiles. :/ she cares about these friends, and feels like it might be an ex partner, but isn't sure. Sigh.

 

[jmni]

If she is vulnerable, she shouldn't be sharing any information on the internet that is that personal. If you suspect persecution, bite the bullet and press charges. Just go to the police and admit you could be wrong but you suspect that it's stalking. They can supina the dating sites for the ip address and emails and all of that. Even if they used a vpn it's possible to catch people. I beleive there are private detectives and attorneys who specialize in online bullying. If you are right then she can press charges for stalking, harassment by contact, internet harassment, etc. If it's what you suspect, they just don't expect her to go the full monty.

My other advice is that she should not have any online profiles. It could just be random creeps with too much time on their hands, and if she can't deal with them she shouldn't have online profiles anyway. But if it's stalkers, they'll just keep using that to contact her and they'll keep pushing and pushing. They could reach her on a day when she's especially vulnerable and do something to defeat her. And if she presses charges, they could even retaliate. The simple solution is: get rid of the profiles and no matter who they are, they wont be able to harass her.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is she a bit naïve about such things? I'm not blaming her, rather saying that perhaps she is not aware that people can be downright cruel and not everyone can be trusted. It seems like she may be overly trusting. The truth is that you've always got to be prepared for anything on the internet to be a lie (sad but true).

 

[whserenitynluv]

@Solara thank you for your response. Your feedback is appreciated. :) :hug:

 

[whserenitynluv]

@jmni I liked what you wrote, and it completely makes sense. All of the information has been documented. The local police do not have jurisdiction of Internet stalking. From what I understand the federal side does, and a report has been made regarding an ex abuser. During the distress, She was letting me know that it is a trigger for her, and when someone does these things it's a flight reaction to protect herself. Although the degrading statements and at least six fake profiles have been established, she shouldn't have to shut her accounts down everywhere because of it. It's a few different people that she's aware of. She has stopped responding to them. She claims the reason for a couple is due to being shy, but she concluded that she would discontinue the conversations with the ones who are fake and record the vulgar ones, and let the others go. I let her know that she is worth more than that, and if they really cared about her they sure wouldn't be getting ahold of her through fake profiles. From what I understand as of today this is no longer an issue, and she is doing better . It just makes me sick that her ex abuser would go to such lengths as to try and sabotage her, and her ex abuser has done more than just online behavior as well and that's been documented too. I think she fears that the most because her ex abuser has always been a bully with her immediate relations . Thank you again for your feedback and I hope by saying this will make the picture a bit more clear. :)

 

[bell]

Okay, just a thought, what if this is all being done by the ex instead of a host of other people.

To me, that situation is 10x more plausible than a gang of adults making fake profiles for another adult, because in short, that just seems, not necessarily impossible, but highly unlikely.

(And sorry I missed the part about screen shots earlier.)

Therefore, maybe these friends are being tarred and feathered when they're actually not at fault at all. As someone who in another thread mentions having a hard time with friendships, it could be that you're projecting what's happening to her on the world at large instead of where it lies, with her ex.

 

[whserenitynluv]

@bell very good advice:)

 

[jmni]

Okay, just a thought, what if this is all being done by the ex instead of a host of other people.

To me, that situation is 10x more plausible than a gang of adults making fake profiles for another adult, because in short, that just seems, not necessarily impossible, but highly unlikely.

It's not unlikely, Bell. Sure it seems implausible to a person who has not observed this. This happened to me and it wasn't because of an ex.

I don't want to hijack this entire thread but this is the short version of what happened to me. I say I am looking for a roommate at work. I specified female but that was ignored. At one point I was alone with this guy who I worked with. He openly tells me that my coworkers made fun of me. He tells me he was friends with assistant manager and the nasty things they said behind my back. He then tells me that he's like a hero and that he defended me. Then he admited to following me in his car. This person actually wanted to move into my house with me so he could harass me in my own home. He was so committed to stalking and such a lunatic, he couldn't even comprehend how psychotic he seemed.

Does it really seem like someone she dated would do this catty stuff for an extended period of time? This is really nasty and maybe her ex opened the door. I think this seems more like the something a very strange adult would do. Only a crazy person would harass someone for being ill. It's actually a hate crime. These people are acting like they're entitled to stalk a woman because she has health problems, which is basically nazism. I'm going to suggest something that might freak her out, which is that it's more than one person and it's actually people that she doesn't know. It's more likely to be related to someone that she works with or someone she has met but hardly knows. Whoever they are they're seriously weird, they have no lives, and they have wackadoodle records. I do think that whoever would do this is crazy, but because it's so catty it seems likely to be women and gay men.

 

[joeylittle]

I do think that whoever would do this is crazy, but because it's so catty it seems likely to be women and gay men.

Anyone can be an asshole when they are hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. One's ability to be a jerk is not limited by gender, sexuality, race, or religion.