People Who Make Fun Of People With Ptsd? Call Them Useless Trash?

[jmni]

Anyone can be an asshole when they are hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. One's ability to be a jerk is not limited by gender, sexuality, race, or religion.

That's true. But she wants to know who's doing this, so I meant more like profiling. These people are on a dating site but they're not there to date. And sure that is just my oppinion and maybe it's completely wrong. But gay guys are notoriously catty, especially when they're with catty women and this seems pretty catty.

 

[joeylittle]

But gay guys are notoriously catty, especially when they're with catty women and this seems pretty catty.

I'm going to dispute "notoriously". I'm not meaning to derail this thread, but according to you, only gay men and (straight?) women are capable of bullying. I understand that you're trying to "help her profile", as you say - but I don't think your assertion is evidence-based enough to back it up.

the problem is they are neighbors, or close friends revealing information. Or a past relationship to her who despite her own self exploited her and put her down. They will make up fake profiles and completely make fun of her,but won't "say" it is them, but let her spill her heart out,then she catches on and tries again.

I also let her know that if she felt like she did something wrong to one friend then to apologise, but in no way is it ok for her friends to continue to contact her through any form other than real profiles. :/ she cares about these friends, and feels like it might be an ex partner, but isn't sure. Sigh.

I also don't think identifying who is doing this is the real issue; it's been established that they are either known friends of the person being stalked, or that persons' ex abuser.

 

[bell]

Still going to say that looking at her ex is the better way to go than thinking it's someone off their rocker, there's more room there for anger and reason for wanting to put up negative dating site profiles.

As for saying gay people are catty, that may be your opinion, but that doesn't mean it's true or apt for profiling purposes.

 

[jmni]

My approach to dating sites is this. Only check it once a week. Filter out all the messages for people I would seriously consider dating. I have to be attracted to them, like their profile, be sure they are there for dating and not random hookups. Don't respond to people who seem like they could be serial cheaters, serial killers, or ok with being "a little bit socio." Otherwise I don't talk to anyone else.

She sounds like she's talking to strangers like they are her own personal diary. She has to develop boundaries because this is a two-way street. At this point she is aware they can just post a fake photo and a fake profile and pretend to be anyone. Imo, if she thinks psychos are stalking her there, that's a good enough reason to leave the site. At least if she has a okcupid profile she could delete that and sign up for e-harmony or something. If it's a free site they can make up 100 profiles. But they probably wont pay $30 each time to do that.

 

[Philippa]

Don't respond to people who seem like they could be serial cheaters, serial killers, or ok with being "a little bit socio."

How would you deduce that a person is a serial cheater, much less a serial killer from what they put on their profile, or write in general?

Serial killers don't really go around advertising it or talking about weird stuff to strangers, and someone who cheats a lot probably would not let on that they are like that on a date site.

If their whole intention is to get into someones pants or make you their next victim, they want the person to trust them and will usually project a persona that will be charming or at least likeable initially. Serial killers can be nice people, believe it or not..

Also, bullies come in all genders. It's kinda generalizing to say that they'd have to be either a woman or a gay man.