Sufferer Perhaps, Just Perhaps

[LisaK]

i stumbled across this site by chance and hope it may help me just a little.

I am a 49yo Australian mum of 3 who was diagnosed with PTSD 5 years ago. After reading some of the stories here I feel I don't really fit, but what the hell....my reasoning is this. Im not a combat vet, not a sexual abuse survivor not even a major trauma survivor. My story: 11yrs ago my now 15yo daughter fell into our backyard swimming pool. She ended up OK but from the day it happened my husband blamed me. Depression ensued, drinking and even the thought of suicide. But I battled on. No one picked up on it, not even the person who said loved and cared about me. I struggled alone.

one day 4yrs ago I had an epiphany i needed to 'snap' out of it and change my life for the better. Unfortunately there were and still are casualties. I started a university degree (which I completed in 2014) i changed jobs and started to engage again in my life. I started to look for someone, male, who could make me feel like a wanted person again, someone who thought I was attractive, smart, funny etc etc all the things I was missing at home. Someone I cold just talk to, someone who could understand me...

My main problems are what I call crisis', something sets me off and i tail spin, out of control, nothing goes right, everything goes wrong. I see myself from the outside and know what Im doing is totally irrational but I am helpless to stop it. I hit the bottom and come back up again. In addition to this, i can't stand the sight of my husband. He doesn't understand me anymore and is trying to 'fix' me. in my eyes he was the cause of my stress and i can't get passed this rightly or wrongly

I'm hoping that with the myriad of people here, I may be able to gather enough information to move in the right direction..

Thanks

 

[Nighthawk]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[Tanishq]

Welcome to the forums LisaK.

You seem more into marriage crisis and hit by it. Sorry to hear that you feel alone and not fitting anywhere else. Are you seeing any counselor?

 

[Angry Angel]

the marriage is in crisis because i am so emotionally removed from life most times

 

[Tanishq]

Are you seeing therapist right now? Sorry Lisa, missed to read PTSD diagnosis part.

Therapist will help you to recover and cope with PTSD.

 

[Angry Angel]

No, im not they are expensive and i cant afford them

 

[Tanishq]

Ok, That's tough to cope alone. I don't have therapist here, but I come here, ask questions, seek answers and discuss with people in threads. So far it has been very helpful to me.

I wish you best in your healing journey Lisa. Good luck. :)

 

[Ed Norton]

Welcome Lisa :-)

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm bipolar as well as PTSD, so I can relate on that level. Depression is a hard one to handle, as it makes you feel like not handling anything. One thing that you might want to look into is grounding techniques. I was taught these in a group therapy session, which is much less expensive than individual therapy. Maybe try googling grounding techniques or just grounding and see what you can find out. You may be helped a lot by these things.

 

[Ronin]

Hi Lisa.
Sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but hoping you find support. Welcome.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Hello and welcome, Lisa!

Everyone's traumas and effects from it are varied and different. Despite that most of the people on the forum are helpful, supportive and friendly.

 

[Born to Run]

Welcome, and I am sure you will fit in here. Everyone's story is unique. Is divorce something you would/could consider?