Laurie McLaughlin
Silver Member
Hi there -
Sorry it took so long to get back to you
I hear what you are saying - and what worked for me was to stop judging my inner self by the actions and words of those who are not me.
You are you - and your heart knows what is good about you and what is not. Listen to it. What I had to do was sit down and listen to my heart - It told me there is kindness within me and intelligence and wisdom. It takes courage to believe that we have such good qualities within us but if you hear the voice within you say those things, believe it.
You can know your heart is true by sitting with those feelings your heart gives you and experiencing them for yourself. When you sit with them you will begin to know - instinctively - yes - those things are inside me. And I can trust them. And it does not matter that other people say they are not there - I know they are because I KNOW. I can feel them.
Other people are not you - and you are under no obligation to believe anything they say.
Sit with your heart - re introduce yourself to your inner wisdom that knows who you really are - and then you can grow those good parts of you, once you believe they are there - and once you grow them eventually, others will see them too.
As far as being good and bad verses loved and unloved - they are different.
I knew I was good inside of me even though my parents never liked me - and I had few friends.
What I learned from my side was that I had to believe what I felt inside - the good I fought so hard to discover inside of me - and whether that transferred to being loved or unloved by anyone in the outside world at first did not matter. I had to believe it - I had to believe that I was worthy of being liked and then worthy of being loved - and once that happened it did not matter what others thought of me
But once I was able to slowly, slowly work on feeling better about myself and building up that confidence within myself then my outer world started to change and people started liking me and eventually loving me.
Ultimately all you have is you - there is no one on the outside of you that can really feel what you feel or think what you think - when it is time for you to die none of them is going to go with you - for me I had to develop the courage from within to find my own goodness which I knew was there because I wanted to be loved and liked and so logically if I wanted to feel those things I must have those qualities within me or I could not want them so badly.
It took work but I found them - and then I stopped being as angry and violent and I began to stop beating myself up for the mistakes I made because I was starting to love myself and I did not want to cause myself any more suffering so I started to manifest more and more positive traits - I am still working on them - especially being gentle to myself and others
I have to meditate every day before I go out into the world to get in touch with my gentleness and visualize myself being gentle with myself and others I come in contact with and when I do that, I can become happier because I am growing my positive qualities from the inside -
Your good qualities are in there - if they were not you would not want to change - unfortunately it takes work to find them but the work is worth the reward -
I have come out on the other side and if I can do it, you can -
Much peace to you - Laurie
