amethist
VIP Member
Picking the right moment to have a chat about something that is seriously bothering you, can be a bit of a mine field. I managed it while we where on holiday and this is what happened.
I have always had an issue with hubby drinking and to be honest I was dreading this part of the holiday, as what else is there to do at night apart from watching crappy TV in your room.
The first few nights hubby did drink rather a lot, not that it effected him that much, but it did effect me, even though I did have a few shandy's with him.
On the Wednesday night we went to a nice pub with a pretty beer garden at the back. it was also quiet so we could sit out of the way and just relax and talk. this is when I spilled it all out to him, explaining that I was not having a go at him, but was concerned.
I explained that I found it hard to watch him drink and not now being able to enjoy drinking a few with him. That I was fed up of drinking J2O's and that was why I was now drinking shandy. I was upset at the fact that I could not enjoy a drink like I used to do, because of what happened to him and the drink before his PTSD diagnosis. I was not asking him to stop drinking altogether, but to calm it a some and to just have a few instead of the amount he had been drinking for the last few nights.
I was in tears by the end of it, but felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and he took it in the way it was meant. He understood how hard it is for me and how he had been drinking a bit too much the last few nights. He agreed to calm it and to take my feeling about it into consideration too.
From that night he did calm it and only had a few, and we did enjoy it more, just sitting and relaxing together, talking and listening to the waves lapping at the shore.
He has hardly touched it since we got home, a couple of shandy's on Tuesday and 2 cans last night.
Some times we just have to take the bull by the horns, pick the right moment and go for it.
I have always had an issue with hubby drinking and to be honest I was dreading this part of the holiday, as what else is there to do at night apart from watching crappy TV in your room.
The first few nights hubby did drink rather a lot, not that it effected him that much, but it did effect me, even though I did have a few shandy's with him.
On the Wednesday night we went to a nice pub with a pretty beer garden at the back. it was also quiet so we could sit out of the way and just relax and talk. this is when I spilled it all out to him, explaining that I was not having a go at him, but was concerned.
I explained that I found it hard to watch him drink and not now being able to enjoy drinking a few with him. That I was fed up of drinking J2O's and that was why I was now drinking shandy. I was upset at the fact that I could not enjoy a drink like I used to do, because of what happened to him and the drink before his PTSD diagnosis. I was not asking him to stop drinking altogether, but to calm it a some and to just have a few instead of the amount he had been drinking for the last few nights.
I was in tears by the end of it, but felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and he took it in the way it was meant. He understood how hard it is for me and how he had been drinking a bit too much the last few nights. He agreed to calm it and to take my feeling about it into consideration too.
From that night he did calm it and only had a few, and we did enjoy it more, just sitting and relaxing together, talking and listening to the waves lapping at the shore.
He has hardly touched it since we got home, a couple of shandy's on Tuesday and 2 cans last night.
Some times we just have to take the bull by the horns, pick the right moment and go for it.
