Pictures - did anyone take pictures of you during abuse?

[Sweetleaf]

I HATE and ALWAYS hated my picture being taken.

This. I haven't always hated it, but I hate it now, so much. I have felt like that for years now.

Forgot to throw this into my last post.

 

[frogthroat]

Yes. And they were all posted online.

Me too. I try not to think too much about who has them and where they are. Do you ever freak about somebody finding them and then realizing it's you? Stupid thought I know but I do worry sometimes about it.

 

[Snowflake]

Me too. I try not to think too much about who has them and where they are. Do you ever freak about s...

It was so long ago for me. I just need to figure out if it was really true or a figment of my imagination

 

[Sweetleaf]

Do you ever freak about somebody finding them and then realizing it's you?

All the f*cking time.

 

[somerandomguy]

Do you ever freak about somebody finding them and then realizing it's you?

Sometimes, but I look pretty different now from when it happened 15 years ago.

Not a stupid thought at all.

 

[Sweetleaf]

Mine look pretty much exactly how I do now. >.<

 

[frogthroat]

Sometimes, but I look pretty different now from when it happened 15 years ago.

Yeah, 18 years have gone by since mine. I'm definitely different. I still have moments when I'm afraid he's going to be in my closet in my own damn apartment. It's weird what your mind does to you. It's an irrational fear.

I mean 16 years since it stopped. 18 years ago was when it started.

 

[Sweetleaf]

For me it's from 3ish years ago (took time for him to establish enough control) until at least 6 or 7 months ago maybe? Things went really really crazy after that point.

 

[frogthroat]

For me it's from 3ish years ago (took time for him to establish enough control) until at least 6 or 7...

Mine is ancient history. 6 or 7 months ago is pretty fresh. Are you away from him?

 

[Sideways]

If you can - what would it mean for you if it did happen? If photos were taken of you, and stuck in an oatmeal container? What does that mean to you?

Remember to breathe and be gentle with yourself if you try and answer that...

 

[Sweetleaf]

Are you away from him?

Yep, since December 11th.
The very next day, or maybe the day afterward (I was in a very, very bad state, in bad shape, and literally experiencing psychosis, though on that day and the previous 1-2, I was fairly lucid/aware of reality, not really having any serious delusions, but very much not me and I had forgotten I was experiencing psychosis). I wasn't talking crazy, not really. I wasn't talking like I would now, not at alll. I went and started the restraining order process. That was -HARD- and I was shaking just so much, like, I was vibrating practically. I had a really hard time talking about it to a judge. But, I got a 20 day temp. order. I didn't even mention the sexual assault. Just the physical assault. I was nowhere near the point where I could say to anyone, that I have been sexually assaulted. Nowhere even close. I wasn't even thinking of it, I was too busy being afraid of him, and I had all sorts of other shit going through my head. A day or two later, those thoughts and memories would come, and that's what drove me fully insane, along with further sleep deprivation.

Now I have a year long, long term order, which I can renew when the time comes. So I will get to have a yearly triggerfest, isn't that fun? I need to look into the process some time but just... why did they have to make the maximum f*cking length only one f*cking year? Is it like someone's going to stop being a problem that quickly, if they are so f*cking bad that you need f*cking legal protection against them, so they have consequences if they come near you? Like damn.

 

[Freida]

why did they have to make the maximum f*cking length only one f*cking year?

are you in the states? If so call the civil department at the court or a DV hotline. There are ones that are good from 5 years to permanent. A lot of times they only make it for the first year to get all the court crap done, then they reevaluate to see if it's still necessary and can issue it for longer.

I know, but it's so, so hard to make myself feel that way :cry:

yep - I still have that fight in my brain. We can fight it together:hug: