Chava, I am a complete black and white thinker. There is no grey area for me...never has been. Working out has been my outlet to achieve the ultimate goals. There is no grey area with exercise, you do or you don't. You have a structure you are focused on and the adrenaline carries you a certain distance. That's how I got through 35 years of my life. I went through the military and law enforcement this way. You sound like the same mindset.
I had such a rigorous personal exercise regimine in addition to the work routine. It was how I survived. I needed to have nothing in between, only what I deemed the extreme fitness routine. The problem for me was I hurt myself so badly that I almost paralyzed myself. I herniated a disc in my neck from running so much and it put me out of work for months. This hurt me more than any half ass routine. I get it though. I ended up on medical retirement in the end...(for PTSD).
I think the compartments you talk of sound like the different disconnected parts of the person that come out during the day. That's the way it happens for me anyway. I am disconnected throughout a lot of the day. Working out connects me to that one goal. I have a hard time keeping myself connected to the people around me. I would go to work and be the work person, then go home and be the home person, or go out and be the going out person. I had so many different people inside me that I was like an actor just switching roles. I don't know if this is what describes you, but this is how I have been. Working out kept me in a steady pace. I knew what to expect and I was in control.
