General Please help! he says he feels on the verge of nervous breakdown, what to do?

[Gs172003]

Not really. I have never ever seen any group of civilians act in the same efficient, focused, punctual w...

Honestly some of the most obnoxious

I just talked to him.

Me: How are you? fine?
Vet: Fine
Me: Are you okay.
Vet: Yep
Me: Want to tal...

Sounds about right

Dang blast it I hate it when my posts don't erase all the way. Grrr...sorry yall

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm not going to argue with you. I only know my guys and our friends situations. And they all say the same...

 

[Sighs]

Hahaha! @Dergrosse - my vet refers to those things as "cheap leadership tricks" - usually while bitching about how slack the civilians are and how he has to treat them like spoilt children. He complains that he can "no longer make the planets align" because the civilian world won't allow him to use fear as a motivator. Neither @LuckiLee or I ever said vets couldn't be effective leaders in the civilian world - just that they don't enjoy it much.

I'm out because we are derailing this thread.

 

[Gs172003]

Gotcha so in your opinion they praised everyone to their face then went home and complained to their...

Do you work with my husband? Lol.sounds like his work site ( except it's commercial construction not industrial)

 

[Dergrosse]

I wasn't trying to derail the conversation just trying to make the point that there are situations where civilians successully work together. I could talk about my uncle, stepdad, and father in law, who are all vets and have experienced both sides of leadership in the civilian world. Some where the civilians actually worked together and were great, and others where they were awful. Not sure why it's so hard to admit that there are times civilians can successfully work together.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't think you have to worry about him hurting himself. I think you totally missed the point of why he told you that.

I am betting he was basically asking for your help to prevent him from being in a worse place. And by helping it means giving him space, cutting him some slack and not adding any more to his plate. Basically he isn't in that place yet, but it "could" happen if he doesn't get some stress relief at home since he can't get it at work. It could also be a warning that he may be extra snippy with you or more distant. By telling you where he is at, it is expected that you now know not to take it personally because he let you know the source of his stress was work.

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Dergrosse if you are offended by this thread then step away. This is not the time or place. No more arguing about civilian vs. military culture in the workplace.

This is a thread about a vet with combat PTSD having issues adjusting to being out of the military and working with civilians. It's not an argument about how civilians are awesome too.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Basically he isn't in that place yet, but it "could" happen if he doesn't get some stress relief at home since he can't get it at work. It could also be a warning that he may be extra snippy with you or more distant. By telling you where he is at, it is expected that you now know not to take it personally because he let you know the source of his stress was work.

Yes! This! 100%!

 

[Never_falter2]

The point is that he did not say he had stress at work. He often does that. The point is he told me he felt at the verge of nervous breakdown. That is very unusual for him to say such a thing... and he said he might hurt himself then if it continues like this. He did not say he might hurt himself if I do not support him but he said he might do it when the civvies in his workplace continue to do the things they do he might have a nervous breakdown and hurt himself.

Well, some people talk about being at the edge of nervous breakdown at least once a week but my guy is not like this... and he never discusses things like he might hurt himself. Never ever.

I am very much afraid.

 

[Never_falter2]

@Dergrosse I am sure that there are many civilians who work together as a team well and are very efficient, but most unfortunately this is not the case for the civvies in his work place... and he blames it on himself. He thinks he does not have what it needs to be a good leader for them and he is very sad about this.

It is like @Sighs says they are a bit like children and do not work together as a team but always quarrel, everybody does what he pleases and he cannot make them a team and he thinks that reflects poorly on him not them, because it is his job not theirs to make them a team.

 

[Dergrosse]

I would take it as a positive that he told you he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Allow him his space and let him know your there for him. You don't want to push too hard and make him regret opening up to you about it.

It's unfortunate the group he works with don't listen and add to his stress. It would make sense that he feels like it's a reflection on himself even though it's not true. Hopefully he can find a way to not judge himself by others actions, though I have to admit I struggle with this too.

 

[Fadeaway]

Maybe I am missunderstanding, but it sounds like you just reafirmed what you said wasn't the problem is indeed the problem! You say he didn't say it was about work, but then you turn around and say it's the civvies at work doing what they are doing AKA stress in the work place.

He shouldn't have to say anything about you supporting him. It's an unspoken rule that less stress at home will give him a more compacity to deal with stress at work. You asked for advice on what you should do, so I am going to repeat what others and myself told you.

Make home a stress free work place