Please Wait In The Living Room?

[Julesnaz]

I'm a supporter, but I totally would have freaked out too. I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing her and her family's life out in the open. I understand the cost saving option of having a home office, but I would hope that she would find a way to keep life and clients separate. Working in the garden might be therapeutic for a lot of people and to save some money that way would be a nice trade off. I also feel that she was pretty unprofessional if she saw you upset about things and pretty much told you to get out. As a doctor you would think she would at least let you plug in your phone for a couple minutes. Hopefully you can find someone better.

 

[StellaBlue]

...and...her reaction to you was, in my opinion, totally off...I would have totally frozen up.

 

[Kefira]

Few thoughts: as for the work exchange bit this is common in certain communities for certain services but it seems like a horribly bad idea for mental health, particularly in a home office situation. I guess maybe I could see that if a structured practice had something they needed done that didn't require confidentiality agreements? But... no. A lot of teachers and organizers I know of and work with do work exchange, but none of use are messing with our client's heads, and most of the time it's for a center.

I have also seen a T who had a home practice, and it was slightly odd at times especially around the holidays. But she had grown children, out of the house, a husband who worked and despite there being no alternate entrance the place was meticulous. Occasionally I would see the person before me leave, but the "living room" had become more of a parlor/waiting room and didn't feel lived in. The office was also basically the first door inside the main door and the floor plan meant that the living spaces were secluded.

I guess my thought is it can work, with the right T who has the right physical setup with their home and is in the right stage of life/family situation to make it all run more smoothly. It sounds like the person you went to see had none of that and really bad boundaries/organization and a seriously unprofessional attitude on top of it.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I'm glad you and your T will talk about it: maybe you can get some answers on why the referral was made. Possibly your T is aware of the individual in question only professionally, or perhaps the office situation used to be different?

 

[City Slicker]

This sounds so horrible. I see many boundary violations there and see at every point why your senses were telling you to leave. I also understand the issue of not wanting to be a no-show and also wanting maybe to stretch yourself a bit out of your comfort zone - especially since it sounds like a therapist you trust referred you to her.

So many boundary issues there as others have mentioned - I am so glad someone stopped to help you make your call. Just a pure helping hand after an experience like that is so meaningful - I am very glad that happened.

I am still shaking my head at all of it. Also glad you will have a chance to talk it through with your therapist and let your therapist know how horrible the entire thing was for you.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm typing from my phone, so my response will be short - I will write more later. I wanted to thank everyone for the responses. I had just enough time to read them and think through it all more before I saw my therapist. You all helped me have courage to talk through this all with her more than I probably would have otherwise.

I do live in a super liberal community, and my therapist understands the culture pretty well. However, even she quickly said, shaking her head, "It isn't a good idea to have a psychiatric garden in your front yard. Just not a good idea." I didn't phrase it that way to her - it really helped me know that she was a bit alarmed too. It turns out that while my therapist knew this NP had a home office, she didn't know it was set up the way it was and has her own concerns.

I will write more soon. I really wanted to say thanks for helping me process this weird and inappropriate situation that I walked into.

 

[Karen12]

That would have freaked me out, too, Justmehere. It was nice that a stranger walking by helped you.

 

[Powder]

The NP sounds disorganized to me, for several reasons, but mainly because she did not have your appointment recorded after you both shared a consultation over the phone. The mess of the house and the boundaries are also sloppy and inconsiderate, as was her handling of the dropped appointment, which was, after all, her own mistake. She may be juggling just way too much. Sounds like she doesn't have time to tend to a small, urban front garden.

If the NP is any good at getting results for people, that may be why she's busy, but she is obviously "hairbrained" and not for everyone. How she treated you, for instance, is not compassionate or, in my definition, professional. Furthermore, I think your T. should let her know her mistakes (at least three: garden work in open view; not handling appointments well; common courtesy for someone with a service animal (who asks politely for her help).

Since you had a phone conversation with her for fifteen minutes, I should think she'd remember your voice or you on some level. Because she is so scattered, this seems like she's allowed her life to become unmanageable. I suspect she is what some call codependent, (for lack of better term for this personality).

By the way, I agree with @sun seeker that your messages do not seem long because they are well-written, organized and relatable. I hope that your communication strengths continue to work for you and create even better healing opportunities.

 

[Tanishq]

Justmehere if I were in your place, I would not go in. Why? It does looks dangerous. It also says whoever setup this doesn't care about their clients either. You are very brave to go there.

Hope your therapist looks into this matter and comes up with resolution for this. I hope such doesn't thing doesn't happen. A little thing is able to make the matter more worse for traumatized people.

 

[SeanCharles]

As I read this post, many red flags were popping up! :( I am so, so, :sorry: for this horrible experience! :( Sure doesn't sound like their organization between home and work are properly synchronized. Waiting in the Living room gives me the image of waiting in a busy hotel lobby! (Not sure why...) where the reservation desk has screwed up because of a computer data entry problem between the reservation being made and room availability because of poor housekeeping staffing. Anyway, Glad the other issues were resolved quickly especially when you were triggered. Hopefully everything will work out for the better!