A little over two months ago, my house was robbed. I go to college away from home and was coming home for the weekend. My parents were returning from a vacation and I beat them home after a long day of travel. I pulled into the driveway and walked inside to notice that something seemed askew: two nails on the floor and a piece of wood sitting near the garbage can. I immediately called my mom and as I turned around, I noticed that the basement door was off the hinges. I immediately ran outside and drove away as fast as possible.
Why did I leave? Why didn't I call the police? Why didn't I protect my home?
I waited anxiously in a parking lot of a pizzeria and hung my head out the window in fear that I would throw up from the amount of screaming and crying I had done. (I've always been relatively anxious and have been extremely afraid of home invasions after a childhood occurrence).
I finally made it back home and saw my father in the driveway shaking his head and my mother's head buried in her hands. It was real. It actually happened. I'm officially not invincible. I got out of the car and fell onto the driveway and couldn't move, think or barely breathe.
Once the police showed up, the verified that our basement window was kicked through and that whomever it was made it through the house by kicking through the basement door. They stole all of my mother and sisters valuables. I slept a total of two hours during the night with constant nightmares where I would wake up screaming.
I returned to school to finish up the last two weeks before summer and I honestly cannot explain how I survived. Although I felt more safe while I was at school, as soon as I came home, the feelings returned. I couldn't drive at night, I couldn't be home alone; it felt like I couldn't do anything.
After two weeks of being home, the police called my father and explained something that I never thought I would hear. They found the suspect. Was he large? Was he actually a she? Was he someone I knew?
I graduated less than a year ago with the bastards. I graduated with the two "men" that robbed me of my home, valuables, and most importantly sense of security. I ran to the bathroom and spit up into the toilet (sorry).
Now two months later, I face nightmares, panic attacks, and a lack of security everywhere I go. I wish it would go away. Recently, I googled these feelings and PTSD came up. At first, I was nauseated by the words but now, I have come to terms that although I may not face the PTSD that soldiers or victims of other more intense things feel, I face similar problems. I need to talk to people that are not involved in this incident and that can help me.
Sorry for this rant- I'm sure it's more than most people would share. I wish all of you a sense of security and love that may have been lost. Thank you.
Why did I leave? Why didn't I call the police? Why didn't I protect my home?
I waited anxiously in a parking lot of a pizzeria and hung my head out the window in fear that I would throw up from the amount of screaming and crying I had done. (I've always been relatively anxious and have been extremely afraid of home invasions after a childhood occurrence).
I finally made it back home and saw my father in the driveway shaking his head and my mother's head buried in her hands. It was real. It actually happened. I'm officially not invincible. I got out of the car and fell onto the driveway and couldn't move, think or barely breathe.
Once the police showed up, the verified that our basement window was kicked through and that whomever it was made it through the house by kicking through the basement door. They stole all of my mother and sisters valuables. I slept a total of two hours during the night with constant nightmares where I would wake up screaming.
I returned to school to finish up the last two weeks before summer and I honestly cannot explain how I survived. Although I felt more safe while I was at school, as soon as I came home, the feelings returned. I couldn't drive at night, I couldn't be home alone; it felt like I couldn't do anything.
After two weeks of being home, the police called my father and explained something that I never thought I would hear. They found the suspect. Was he large? Was he actually a she? Was he someone I knew?
I graduated less than a year ago with the bastards. I graduated with the two "men" that robbed me of my home, valuables, and most importantly sense of security. I ran to the bathroom and spit up into the toilet (sorry).
Now two months later, I face nightmares, panic attacks, and a lack of security everywhere I go. I wish it would go away. Recently, I googled these feelings and PTSD came up. At first, I was nauseated by the words but now, I have come to terms that although I may not face the PTSD that soldiers or victims of other more intense things feel, I face similar problems. I need to talk to people that are not involved in this incident and that can help me.
Sorry for this rant- I'm sure it's more than most people would share. I wish all of you a sense of security and love that may have been lost. Thank you.
