Poverty as a contributing factor in childhood trauma/ poverty in adult trauma/ poverty as a result of disability and PTSD from trauma/ stigma & shame

[Ecdysis]

I've just started doing some financial counselling re budgets and debt and am finding it triggery as all heck.

A lot of that is because of the role poverty played in my childhood trauma (neglect, deprivation and also that it was a stressor on my parents which increased their neglectful and abusive behaviours).

Also, poverty plays a role in my adult life due to disabilities and PTSD from the childhood trauma leading to low/ irregular income.

And then add in a whole lot of shame and stigma about poverty into the mix both about childhood poverty and poverty in adulthood... ugh....

 

[Midnightmoon]

Yup completely identify with this. I'm sorry it's so triggering

Money isn't a comfortable subject full stop I don't think, but the shame of not being able to afford basic living stuff is just so isolating. Self fulfilling too cause of course you are socially excluded because you can't do the routine stuff that other people do/ access. Round and round it goes. Once you then have an additional factor of disability that then limits opportunities even more

I can remember being, god 5 or 6 and a very kind member of school staff offering me some spare uniform that fitted. I knew saying yes would cause major issues at home, so made an excuse. Charity= shameful= undeserving. As an adult having had recent contact with a charity all those thought processes are back with a vengeance.

I've tried very hard to be 'allowed' to have help/ buy essentials (but working out what's essential is easier said than done!!) Gently does it

 

[MaplePancake]

I am sorry. I am sure it must be so hard. Most of us deal with money near everyday so I have a lot of sympathy for that being a trigger to someone.

As for the shame, maybe it would help to look at the news and see that the wealthiest people can be jerks. I don’t want to get political here so I won’t give names but there are a lot of narcissistic and self centered wealthy people out there. (In addition to many good ones, of course)

 

[arfie]

i wonder a great deal about the nurture vs. nature aspect of the poverty/mental illness connection. i went through my childhood trauma with 10 siblings and a mother who liked tri-state neighborhoods so that she could play 3 state lotteries every week. no money for groceries, but she sure could afford those lottery tickets. her most consistent rant was over how she would have no problems if she had THEIR money. of the 10 sibs, 8 of the 10 invalidate my recovery on the grounds that i came out the other end with comfortable financial holdings (so far, knock wood). they all assure me they would have been able to recover if they had my money. hey! ! ! weren't we all flushed out of the same poverty pot?

i don't want to understate the extreme stresses of unpaid bills, but? ? ? there is not a fiber of my being that believes one makes the other inevitable nor that one precludes the other. i often wish i had opened my bratty mouth to say, "hey, mom, if you had THEIR money, you would have THEIR problems on top of your own."

yay you for opening yourself to financial counseling. i hold that as a far better investment than lottery tickets. listen to your advisors. you don't necessarily have to follow that advice (i don't always), but listen up and consider the possibilities.