Pressing Charges Against My Abuser

[UConnclar]

Hi Everyone,
I wrote a journal entry a while back about my rape. I've gone from feeling so full of guilt and shame to now being very angry.

I feel like I've let him believe he's had power over me long enough. I've been talking with my therapist about taking him to court and making him answer to what he did.

Has anyone had experience with the court system? What can I expect? What should I be ready for?

Thanks so much!!
Meg

 

[2quilt]

You are very strong! I applaud you! 2quilt

 

[sigh]

I would love to press charges against either my father or the man who raped me. However, in this day and age it cannot be he said she said. There MUST be forensic evidence that was taken from the victim at the time of the crime. Additionally, states have statutes of limitations preventing someone for being charged with certain crimes (including those of a sexual nature) a certain number of years after the event.

With my father, I cannot press criminal charges against him, however, I could civilly sue him. I would most likely lose because again, I have no concrete evidence (hospitalizations, meds, therapy, affidavits, etc., are all here-say or irrelevant).

sorry.

s.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I hope that if this is possible....That it has a positive effect on your healing, and gives you a huge boost to your self esteem.....You deserve it.....

 

[sigh]

I know I am in the minority here. But I try to tell it like it is. For me and my rapist, the statute of limitations was five (only) years. For my father, it was ten years. The rape kit is of the utmost importance. The court needs pictures, goobers, bruises, cuts, DNA, etc.. While I agree that this may be an important part of your healing, I just want to note that healing is not always possible through the justice system. If I hadn't of taken the shower, if I had gone straight to the hospital, I would have gotten an evil rapist deported from the US. It didn't happen. The police would not help. I'm just warning you not to be disappointed. I'm really sorry to say these things, I just want you to be prepared for any angle.

s.

 

[Deleted member 4109]

I was raped as you know from my post, it was 8 years ago but only within the last 1 1/2 year have done anything about it. It is only in the last 6 months that it does not feel like it happened yesterday. The truth is I am not sure that you will be able to take it to court or be able to get justice done...
Unless there is physical evidence then it is had to get the *******'s (sorry) behind bars.
A good thing it I did was to write questions that I would like to ask my rapist (don't know if you can send it to him) but I could not send it as I do not know where he lives but otherwise try to answer the questions yourself and then do a chart it was my fault v's it was not my fault. It has made me see that I was not responsible for his actions and that he is a disgusting ****, but it is not worth living in the past.
I hope that you are ok and ask your therapist about your anger.
X