- Admin
- #13
anthony
Founder
Been exactly where you're at, about a year after my final deployment I decided to give up smoking and then fell apart. Depression added the weight, everything was unusual to me. It honestly takes a lot of slow work to get healthy again... both mentally and physically. I was about the same age when I fell apart, and am also now 40, much healthier mentally and physically as a result of all those years working on myself.
I still have to moderate my exposure to life, though I can participate within it in doses, which is better than where I also was, as you outlined, pretty much resigned to home limits or else someone risked being at the end of my anger and violence.
Don't beat yourself up... being a veteran myself I was engrained with bulletproof... then PTSD knocked me on my arse, and I can't even see it. It takes a lot of mental rehandling to shape a brain, let alone a military one.
I still have to moderate my exposure to life, though I can participate within it in doses, which is better than where I also was, as you outlined, pretty much resigned to home limits or else someone risked being at the end of my anger and violence.
Don't beat yourself up... being a veteran myself I was engrained with bulletproof... then PTSD knocked me on my arse, and I can't even see it. It takes a lot of mental rehandling to shape a brain, let alone a military one.