JadedGhost13
Silver Member
Hello, I have had PTSD since 1999, but it took years to get a correct diagnosis. I was told I was majorly depressed, I was BiPolar, I was lazy, I needed to just get over things....
I have had problems holding down a job my entire life, especially after PTSD. I have been at my current job for nearly 3 years now. The longest I have ever been at one job. And the ONLY reason I have managed to stay as long as I have it because I work with my husband and he drives me to keep going. But even that is a task most days, and its getting harder and harder to keep going even with his support, and his pushing me to keep going.
I had stopped seeing a shrink for a good while, and had been med free because I did not like how the meds made me feel... I felt NOTHING AT ALL on them, and also because some of the meds I was supposed to take are on a NO NO list in my line of work. So I can not take them and do the job that I do.
That being said, I have been off work for a few weeks due to a surgery and I managed to get in to see my shrink, they seen me and we did testing over again that we done a few years ago. I guess to make sure that my mind was still in the same place or where I was. That showed my PTSD has gotten worse. That also is when it was shown that I have Adult ADD now. Now he explains to me that PTSD can create symptoms of ADD so he has added it to my records just in case, but we are going to go back into treatment again and meds again and see if the ADD symptoms show improvement.
It has been suggested to me before and now again that I should apply for disability. I have fought this hard because I did not want to feel like a bourdon to society. I feel it is my duty to be productive and pay taxes. But its getting harder and harder to keep going. I am actually considering making the application to be on disability. I am old enough and have worked enough to have paid in my credits or points. And my report from social security shows that I would be able to draw a decent amount of money if I were to become disabled. It would be about half of what I bring home now, but it is more than I know a lot of others on disability draw.
MY other problem with this is that if I did this, what would I do with my time? I have been off from work since early December and I do not like being at home. TV does not interest me. And hobbies I once enjoyed, I no longer enjoy. So what would I do with my time that I do actually feel like doing something? Anyone on disability, can you answer that? Do you do volunteer work? Do you do some under the table work? What do you do when you are having a decent time of it?
I have considered asking my husband to open a coffee shop and have people to work it, but I could go down and help out when I felt like it, or get a food truck and work it under his name and tax ID when I felt like it. I just do not know what to do.
I Was doing good with avoiding triggers, but I am finding more and more triggers and I do not know why I cam developing more, but I am which makes it difficult to do a LOT of things.
I hate to go to sleep, I have the nightmares really bad right now. So I do not sleep for long periods of time and I go to sleep when I am beyond exhausted. That way I am too tired to dream, but even that isnt working so well and if I take a sleep pill it makes it worse.
Well, that is my introduction. Nice to meet you all.
I have had problems holding down a job my entire life, especially after PTSD. I have been at my current job for nearly 3 years now. The longest I have ever been at one job. And the ONLY reason I have managed to stay as long as I have it because I work with my husband and he drives me to keep going. But even that is a task most days, and its getting harder and harder to keep going even with his support, and his pushing me to keep going.
I had stopped seeing a shrink for a good while, and had been med free because I did not like how the meds made me feel... I felt NOTHING AT ALL on them, and also because some of the meds I was supposed to take are on a NO NO list in my line of work. So I can not take them and do the job that I do.
That being said, I have been off work for a few weeks due to a surgery and I managed to get in to see my shrink, they seen me and we did testing over again that we done a few years ago. I guess to make sure that my mind was still in the same place or where I was. That showed my PTSD has gotten worse. That also is when it was shown that I have Adult ADD now. Now he explains to me that PTSD can create symptoms of ADD so he has added it to my records just in case, but we are going to go back into treatment again and meds again and see if the ADD symptoms show improvement.
It has been suggested to me before and now again that I should apply for disability. I have fought this hard because I did not want to feel like a bourdon to society. I feel it is my duty to be productive and pay taxes. But its getting harder and harder to keep going. I am actually considering making the application to be on disability. I am old enough and have worked enough to have paid in my credits or points. And my report from social security shows that I would be able to draw a decent amount of money if I were to become disabled. It would be about half of what I bring home now, but it is more than I know a lot of others on disability draw.
MY other problem with this is that if I did this, what would I do with my time? I have been off from work since early December and I do not like being at home. TV does not interest me. And hobbies I once enjoyed, I no longer enjoy. So what would I do with my time that I do actually feel like doing something? Anyone on disability, can you answer that? Do you do volunteer work? Do you do some under the table work? What do you do when you are having a decent time of it?
I have considered asking my husband to open a coffee shop and have people to work it, but I could go down and help out when I felt like it, or get a food truck and work it under his name and tax ID when I felt like it. I just do not know what to do.
I Was doing good with avoiding triggers, but I am finding more and more triggers and I do not know why I cam developing more, but I am which makes it difficult to do a LOT of things.
I hate to go to sleep, I have the nightmares really bad right now. So I do not sleep for long periods of time and I go to sleep when I am beyond exhausted. That way I am too tired to dream, but even that isnt working so well and if I take a sleep pill it makes it worse.
Well, that is my introduction. Nice to meet you all.
