Ptsd And Effects On Memory

[shimmerz]

Now that I read this post over, I went to a hypnotherapist (one of my first 'healers'). I had an extremely difficult memory that I could not get out of my head that I think threw me over the edge of my PTSD blowup. Anyways, he used a 're-imagery' technique whilst helping me with hypnosis. It involved a clown. I never had problems with clowns prior to seeing him. Now if anyone says anything about clowns or if I see one I am full on PTSD meltdown mode. I didn't know enough at that time to be careful of healers. This guy implanted an association that may well cause another huge meltdown along the way and I haven't quite figured out how to break the association that he implanted.

Dangerous.

 

[ghotiff]

I have the big picture memories, it's the single event type memories I am missing. I have started to believe I was threatened with knives (I don't know if it was verbally or physically). I don't have "memories" if this as such, just a sense that keeps getting stronger.

I'm frightened to get more visual memories, I have enough already rattling around my head and popping out when not wanted. My T says more memories may or may not come.

Sorry to hyjack, it's just this topic is so emotive for me at the moment. I have a vague hope that because I disassociated during, that the memories were never encoded.

 

[shimmerz]

@ghotiff, they may not have encoded in a way that you can process them easily, but I can guarantee you they are accessible when ready. It sounds like a big one given how it is coming up slowly for you. I would suggest if they are visual memories that it was not a verbal threat but instead one gotten through sight. Just my humble opinion given my experiences.

Is it possible that there was more than one big picture? Or perhaps you think you know the big picture but there is yet a larger picture still? I would say on some level you are dreading this one because it is deep and you are not certain you are going to be able to handle it and stay sane. These are my words based on my past experiences - certainly not yours. Based on experience though, I found that the anticipation of such things to be more difficult than when it finally came to me. Not sure if this helps and by all means contact me if you feel it may be helpful. No pressure on that.

You sound scared of this one and I know that feeling....
Hugs to you.
Shimmerz

 

[Seasounds]

@Junebug and MarkJT-Grounding things: skies, clouds, and trees.

@shimmerez-First healers-there's a bundle of stories to share. My hypnotherapist was sexually explorative;this was a key, for my background, just emerging. It is a paradox how some healers, in a healing process themselves, trigger those needing healing. :/ (the gift that keeps giving)

@ghotiff

I don't have "memories" if this as such, just a sense that keeps getting stronger

This is what like I had. I hope you get the support to let the feelings blossom, transform, and release, as you treat 'the sense' as your truth (that sure helped me) In fact, it sounds like you are in a good process. Good luck!

@lalacoastalsc, you worded things so well. I related. In a similar way, my mindbody, following my intention, to open and clear things, had pandora a box open up, unexpectedly. Not realizing hypnotherapy relaxes protective functions, naively I learned that hypnotherapy can undo the swaddling. Now, I want to work with a Jungian to open up my dreaming abilities.

In one way or another, healing.
Thanks all.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @change. Yes beautiful things & 'big' (expansive, cognitively 'enormous' things like stars, sunsets, waterfronts) are grounding to me (to see), & animals (especially dogs) to pet, & physical contact (like bear hugs). Oh yes, & some music/ words. (I guess even a flower & such is an 'enormous' act of simple but complicated beauty. :) )

Healing to you (& all) as well. :hug:

 

[Mark JT]

Update on this one. Had a good chat to my psych last night about this. Your memory will retain sights/sounds etc from incidents that spike your emotions, be that a good experiance (wedding day, kids births etc) and also traumatic ones (no need to give examples here as we all know what they are like!!). So the traumatic event caused me to disosociate to varying degrees which causes you to feel numb and if you are numb, your feelings are suppressed. So saying that, if you feelings are suppressed, your emotions will not spike to events as much therefore you will not remember them the way you would want to. The search for answers continues!!