Ptsd And Effects On Memory

[WillyKat]

@Lionheart777: my old therapist said exactly the same; you'll remember when you're ready.

But I think its possible that you can be ready and not recall something that was never recorded to begin with.

Agree too that what I've heard about hypnosis isn't compelling. I'd err on the side of caution and not go there.

 

[shimmerz]

For myself (and this will be controversial) the memories were definitely there. I had sudden onset PTSD and lost all work skills, forgot how to get places, appointments, couldn't remember a movie 5 minutes after I saw it within a day. I still cannot work at what I used to, I still cannot navigate properly, etc etc etc. My life was a disaster and I had no idea why. It came back to trauma that nobody told me about prior to my having been adopted at 2 years old.

As a desperate measure I went to shaman's, who journeyed me and many memories were recovered. I also (after much debate and research) took a psychotropic drug to help me 'understand better' as my reactions were dangerous and life threatening. It was the lesser of the two evils. During this process I had memories of what happened to me during my 2 years in foster care and with my birth parents. I had no emotional attachment to the memories while I was 'sessioning' therefore the memories came with clarity and my body literally reacted to the memories to heal. I am not advocating here, just giving experience.

Because I was unaware of my past (my adopted parents had never told me) and my t-doc had told me not to contact Children's Aid as he expected based on my reactions that it would be too much for me, I waited until I felt I was ready (2 years) and got emergency disclosure. The documentation backed up my memories in a creepy way.

In the meanwhile, as I was understanding my triggers because of my memories with the psychotropic, I was able to process them using my higher brain. This made more space for me to retain information in the here and now. Slowly I was able to take in the present moment as my head was not so busy being in survival mode.

I still don't remember movies (I never liked them anyways), I still can't work at what I used to but I can function in the here and now. I can go outside, I can drive my car again, I am not having the night terrors or flashbacks that I was having before. I still have nightmares when things are triggery around me but I can actually sleep again. I am no longer in danger of being of harm to myself.

Controversial yes, but for me it has been highly effective. With time and tools from your t you will learn what your body and psyche is trying to tell you but it isn't a process to be rushed.

 

[Seasounds]

@Smile and @Seagreen, with education in hypnotherapy. for the most part I agree, about avoiding it.

There are different styles of hypnosis. At its best, it is an open ended relaxation tool in which the participant is invited to consciously explore their thoughts, feelings, and imagination (giving healing images to themsves). At its worse, it is someone telling you what to believe, telling you what to do, and telling you whatever comes to mind, is truth.

I like using the open-ended style, which is a relaxation technique; I let images and feelings arise, notice them, and direct myself to imagine something healing. It is rare to find a practitioner who follows the clients process, instead they usually direct it. :/. Mindfulness practice essentially gives the same healing space.

Open-ended (permissive) hypnotherapy, relaxation techniques, and Mindfulness, have been helpful to me to "give space" to becoming aware of the somatic clues-that eventually all fall together-after time, into cohesive memories.

It can be an interesting process, that takes patience, to continue the 'wondering' (of what happened)0 , while history reveals itself.

I echo the others' thoughts, that the memory comes into clarity, after enough time and healing occurs, and until a person is grounded enough, has the tools, to integrate the overwhelming trauma.

It seems like Mindfulness practice, relaxation and permissive hypnotherapy help shift the brain from amygdala processing to hippocampus processing. I wonder if this is why these techniques can be helpful, in the translating with trauma memories?

 

[Seasounds]

@MarkJT, et al., I forgot to add that anything discovered in hypnosis is NOT fact; it is one piece of the 'maybe' and puzzle information.

 

[ghotiff]

I have significant memory gaps but I don't want to remember more. Will I have to to heal?

 

[Smile]

@change , your totally right about the relaxation hypnosis. I totally forgot (irony?) but my old T did that with me once or twice. He never named it but that's what it was. It was an upsetting experience but gratifying in that I felt closer to the truth.
@Lionheart777 , thanks for that hope! Although I've been told that in the past, it hasn't really happened for me yet and is good to hear that it is real :)

 

[Seasounds]

I have significant memory gaps but I don't want to remember more. Will I have to to heal?

@ghotiff, I don't know, what is right for you.

i can only speak for my path. In order for me to find sanity, I needed to agree (to myself) to allow the memories, and to process, and to heal them. For decades, I repressed memories; this resulted in big problems-nightmares and depression. I am much happier, on the other side of the process. Blocking the memories took energy (like trying to stop a flood).

And, I found out, to find the memories, it is not like anyone has to 'go digging'. The memories and hints will appear, in dreams, in flashbacks-when similar circumstances get recreated in the present, through and in conversations with family members. Good luck!

 

[lalacoastalsc]

Hi, You summed up what I'd been asking myself for years.Your Question: Are the memories I am looking for just not there? or are they there but just suppressed? This is a cautionary tale and it played out like this for me- For several decades I had "known" I had been sexually abused by my grandfather without being able to remember the incidents much less the details. I sensed that they were there and they were not there at the same time. Then during another trauma decades later one of the abuse incidents came back to me and clearly. I told my spouse and spoke to a therapist about that incident which had happened 30 years previously and then I cautiously moved on. A year later I started Jungian therapy in Switzerland though not as a consequence of the horror I had recalled. Initially I was not aware and did not understand the risk of Jungian therapy or any therapy that searches for lost trauma memories which then become fully aware memories. The mind which so carefully swaddles and protects scarred-over horrors so that we will not remember burst. It was as though Pandora's box lid blew open and the nightmarish acts flew out. I was a wreck. If you must explore go with a degree of caution and a pressing need to know if you can imagine it will help. My thoughts are with you.

 

[shimmerz]

but I don't want to remember more. Will I have to to heal?

I found that for me @ghotiff, that there came a point in time that I intuitively knew that I knew enough. I had a 'big picture' of what had happened. Once I had the big picture, I simply focused on my reaction and said, well of course this fits in some way. That took a ton of stress off of me (because I expected an awful lot from myself in digging for the truth). It really eased my stress reactions because I allowed myself to just label a reaction and not judge it.

 

[Mark JT]

Wow, some amazing stories going on here and so much courage to write them down. I am "lucky" in the sense that my traumas are not pysical only numerous incidents that i have witnessed due to my occupation so I dont have to worry about unlocking traumatic memories that I have suppressed - I am fully aware of what triggered my PTSD. Its fascinating that I can recall one incident that occurred a decade ago in absolute vivid details yet i cannot remember other significant events since. Mindfullness has certaintly helped me and is a great grounding tool. Many times I have started to peak out with anxiety and anger but thanks to some marvellous clooud formations or the stars at night, it has allowed me to ground myself and live in the moment. I am a huge advocate for mindfullness thats for sure. @shimmerz - you do what ever gets you through. Thats the key i reckon - do what you have to do.

 

[shimmerz]

Thanks @Mark JT . I appreciate that. Clouds and stars. And for some reason trees and mushrooms (lol, not to psychotropic ones) are my thing. My best moments with insight as clear as could be come from looking at the stars especially. Wishing you the key to all of the answers you seek Mark.....

 

[Tinyflame]

Me too, clouds & stars. Last night there was the strangest thing, a piece of a rainbow- all colors- on just one side of the moon. It disappeared very quickly. But it was awesome. I actually thanked the reality of choosing to look up & try to get grounded for that. :)

Welcome @Mark JT . I think all memories are retained unless not encoded to begin with. Science bears it out with surgical brain stimulation, (& all facets of them, taste, sound, temperature etc), even if we can't recall them.