Poll PTSD and Marriage - How Many Times Have You Been Married?

[TLight]

Married once at 23....he drank, had an affair while I was pregnant, and left me stranded. Then just a girlfriend who was actually using me for 11 years..........then several relationships, none lasting more than 2 years...........all bums and I was all the time triggered horribly.........taken advantage of my a scam artist for $8000. Had one bf trying to find his way and I had to pay for everything $16000........urghhhh, and trying to work with PTSD and Fibro the whole time.

I tell you, these guys really 'cared' about me and I gave and gave my all........I was a real caretaker. No more.........not me.

I just wish I'd given the best of me to someone who deserved it. I'm a wonderful woman, really.

I haven't given up though. I want to love and be loved and belong to someone......it is my greatest dream and I intend on making it come true, despite the baggage.

 

[pandora]

Twice..then lived with someone. I am now going to stay alone forever...I do not think I could handle any type of relationship now at all. I still feel broken when it comes to relationships with men especially.

 

[becvan]

Married once, divorced a year and a half later, have been a divorcee for 10 years now. I would remarry if the right man, right circumstances came about but happy as a single person right now.

bec

 

[Dylan]

Well, I'm married once, but it has been a long and winding road. Well, more like the Eiger, really (heh heh).

Terror of intimacy, of engulfment, would see me rabbiting every time we got too close for a LONG time. Extreme, easily triggered suspicion was one of the main challenges. Short fuse. Disocciation. Self-destructive. Anxiety. Well, I'm sure everyone here knows the drill....

-Dylan

 

[louisa]

I can relate to pandora totally when she says that she wants to be alone forever, but at the same time i think it's sad that my experience has made me feel like this. I've been married once and had a number of long term relationships since that but the last one could only be described as hell, a living nightmare. I'm at a point where if i see people kissing on t.v - i feel sick - I would like to change really, but my feelings about this are so strong that I don't think thats possible - Louisa

 

[satara]

1 marriage met him when I was 13, engaged by 16 married by 18.
oddly he shared the same birthday as my abusive brother.
took me years to remember his real date lol
held together for almost 20 years.
Long story why we ended, but it was of my choice.

In new relationship. We have talked and dated for 4 years
finally made the plunge it is a challenge, but we both
agreed to make put everything into it we can before we were to
stop it==if we came to that point.

some days it seems awful close.
I find I get more tired easier now.
He is good as he always recognizes it and he is wonderful in patience and his strength he lends me.

Challenge is there if you have read my other postings.

 

[Mahtalat]

Depends how you look at it, I could say twice, but the first time was in a role-play game called Achaea, and it felt like a marriage and I came out learning a lot of real things from it. But my first REAL marriage was/is with Shamstalat and we're still married. We haven't been married 7 years but it sure does feel like we've known each other our whole life, it feels like we've been married an eternity. I think we've jumped hurdles, and been through stuff couples who have been married for way longer crash and burn towards.

 

[COPTSDHubby]

I have been married to a woman with PTSD for over ten years and don't plan on leaving. It is hard, but I married her, not the PTSD. Though scary, I think companionship is worth the risk and there are people willing to embrace you. After all, you are special right?

 

[Perdido]

I've sabotaged the majority of my relationships -- so no marriage to this point (nearly 40). Perhaps one day, but in the interim, I can barely take care of myself, much less give to another. That may be an excuse, but f&*k, at this point, what does it matter. I'm reeling, and running from pain -- relationships, they're an afterthought.

 

[ISupportHer]

Still married after 31 years. Only marriage.

I posted a similar question on a board for those with spouses/partners with depression. It seemed that most were supporting each other's decision to leave, not necessarily support for coping WITH it.

Most were divorced or no longer in their relationship.

Don't get that vibe here but I know that many here have lost relationships and partners.

 

[naturalfirebrand]

Third Time

I am on my 3rd marraige and hopefully last.

My first husband passed away, my second did his best to push me over the edge. This one I believe will last. Before we married we had what I call full disclosure.

He knows my full background and my current issues.

Linda

 

[Gloria]

I will go on record that I probably have been married more times than anyone I know and probably I win the boobie prize of being married than anyone on this site. Not proud of it. Kind of disappointed that no one else posted multiple marriages as still trying to understand. I think PTSD played a big part in multipe marriages. I appear to be very normal and I would tell my husbands before I married them what had happened to me in my life and that I had a nightmares and I had a time. Not one of them believed me. They all thought I was fine and were not prepared for the nightmares and my flashbacks. Because I was desperate for a family, I married men trying to have that family. One marriage was over before we moved in together. He was a professor from Canada and had an affair with a woman from Quebec only days before we got married. He just assumed that I wouldn't mind??!! Another man was a doctor who after only a few months of marriage came home and told me that he got a nurse pregnant accidentally. Hello!! You would think that a nurse and a doctor would know how pregancy occurs and take precautions! My first husband was sent over to Viet Nam and decided to do LSD on the plane over there and flipped out. He's been in and out of mental hospitals for 35 years. The funny part is that I have more proposals than anyone I have ever heard of. I'm lucky I didn't marry the other men or I would have more notches on my bedpost! The most marriages for any women in the Guiness Book of World Records is 26 and fortunately I am not even close to that. But give me time. I have a man that wants to marry me now. They say a fool is born every minute!
I'm just kidding! No more marriages.