PTSD and my body: Does anyone else experience PTSD as more of a physical than a mental thing?

[Freida]

How does one EMDR something that was drilled into you thousands of times, over years and years, in countless situations and circumstance?

Ahhh this I can answer! It doesn't remove the memory. It removes the angst/emotion/fraughtness of the memory. So when you look back on the things that were drilled into you 1000s times you will remember the instructions without the dump of adrenaline that goes with them. The RIGHT NOW importance can lessen - so you can choose which part to focus on and why. You will still remember the shit that went wrong, but EMDR gives you more control over your response to the memory.

Even better - because it doesn't take the actual memory away if you find yourself in a position where you need to do whatever it is you still can. You will still pack your bag as exactly as you always have. You will still know how to respond to stop the whatever. You will just approach it more effectively and with less of an emotional reaction.

Or so they say! But so far it seems that it's been working for me.... I just added a new memory to a bad situation yesterday and while it was upsetting it didn't derail me like it would have a year ago. Which is awesome!
.

 

[Deleted member 487]

I don't know if this helps you guys any, but it's worth a shot (doing it this way because of the copywrite issue)-

"A randomized controlled trial of brief Somatic Experiencing for chronic low back pain and comorbid post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms"
Link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2017.1331108

"Complex post-traumatic stress disorder in patients with somatization disorder"
Link to this article not available

"Effectiveness of an Extended Yoga Treatment for Women with Chronic Posttraumatic Stress Disorder"
Link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2015.0266

"Impact of a Yoga Intervention on Physical Activity, Self-Efficacy, and Motivation in Women with PTSD Symptoms"
Link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2014.0389

"Yoga for Adult Women with Chronic PTSD: A Long-Term Follow-Up Study"
Link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2014.0407

Hope that helps....

 

[edward333]

I don't know if this helps you guys any, but it's worth a shot (doing it this way because of the copywrite issue)

Thanks @cactus_jack ! My favorite article was the long-term follow-up of 2016, and the full text is available free at the Trauma Center JRI website (in their publications list).

Would you like to say anything about your interest and experience with physical symptoms of PTSD and embodied therapeutic approaches? I appreciate relevant articles but even more than that I'm hoping to connect with actual people around this topic.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Experienced it is all. Since I'm going to college I make it a point to go hit the database for all the docs I can scrounge up. Reports, testing, studies, man, there is so much out there!

 

[user27357]

I get this now, I didn't before a few weeks back.

I have enough physical trauma in my past to account for any pains I feel now as an aging survivor, I thought.

I would have classified any pain that I could be convinced was due to a mental state as being psychosomatic, in fact it is by definition.

Until I suffered the one-two punch that I got last June and started to immediately feel the pain, exact;y like what was described in the OP's first post:

crushing feelings in your chest, agonizing tension in your shoulders, and burning pain in your abdomen, accompanied by the conviction that you are utterly helpless to do anything about it.

These pains are real. They are not associated with a trauma and after almost two months of testing including MRI and sleep disorder studies and EKG after EKG, it looks like there is no underlying physical cause.

That utterly helpless feeling is the capper, I am overwhelmed by the feeling that this is my new normal.

I feel like I am driving around with the check engine light on, living with the thought that the car started fine, runs fine and is doing okay right now, but also aware that if the engine loses oil pressure for some reason I may not know about it until the mains spin because my car can't light the light twice. I am getting my warning and ignoring it, I won't get another one if a "real" physical problem arises.

I am also becoming acutely aware of just how exasperating this can be for healthcare professionals. I have heard the sighs and basically been told to "man up" over the phone. No one knows how to deal with it. Co-workers don't understand the time off work without a visible physical cause and i am not about to try to enlighten them. I have admitted in my first sentence of this post that I didn't get it myself until I experienced it. I am not allowed to feel slighted by anyone that rolls their eyes at me over this.

I get it now. This is anguish and I can't stop it without help. I am seeking help and appreciate those that have posted all the help in this thread very much.

 

[IceQueencop]

Grit: I’m not sure why you feel that trauma has to be spoken.
Friday: What you have said makes a lot of sense to me, I don’t have a lot of use for EMDR either. I feel like so much of my professional life I have spent simply reacting to trauma and not paying attention to any kind of emotional response. In the street it mattered less what you actually did, (in law enforcement it’s always wrong) and more that you reacted at all, and everyone went home safe. Mindfulness helps with the reacting, but working the trauma out of the body...
I started trying to do group exercise classes, but if I got my heart rate up and then moved my head a certain way...flashback, and I’m behind my gun. Nobody else in class knows I’m experiencing this, (I hope), and then, I’m not going back to that class. I’ll do yoga or Pilates with a friend who also has PTSD, I’m less anxious with her there, because...well, because I know she has my back. I don’t want to hear it’s ok, I need to know I’m safe, I don’t need to hear it, I need to know it. As long as I have back up, I can go into a situation where I’m triggered, but I need to trust my back up.

Best,
IQC

 

[shimmerz]

What I am learning is that through developmental trauma, children, who are meant to be focusing on embodiment, instead are running for their lives, hiding for their lives, trying to figure out how to get away and not be seen. So the brain isn't actually taught in the way it is supposed to how to just 'be' with their body.

I can speak for myself and understand that I hated my body. Because that's how they hurt me/maimed me/almost killed me/starved me/left me alone all night. I learned my body was my vulnerability. So it made sense that I didn't want to acknowledge it. It wasn't safe to do so.

Now it is.

I think what I am finding with Feldenkrais or any other somatic experiencing thing is that my body - ideally - would have been better off in a safe environment where I could explore the coolness of my body. It would have mapped those lessons into my brain. That is the key. Mapping the body to be a 'good thing'. Feelings, sensations, noticing when something is wrong, how it feels when things are good. You know.

So I don't think there is any real way around it. Self care and teaching the body how it feels to be loved, cared for, appreciated. Not the enemy. And that to me has meant, not processing the traumas stored in my body so much as giving my brain a taste of what it feels like to say 'hey that feels cool'. lol. Never knew that was an option.

So yeah, the trauma will come out but without giving the mind a different sense of the body - a sense of worthiness for the body - I feel like we can release all the trauma held inside ad nauseum - but that the body will keep seeking more trauma out - because that is what the body knows and craves in feeling.

Going back to developmental stages and being mindful that one is mapping the good feelings not the oh shit feelings - in my opinion - is the only way out without continuing the cycle of the 'body bad' lessons we learned to keep safe. To me, that is the way out of this shitty somatic re-experiencing stuff. Give the brain a taste of how the body can actually feel good.

 

[ms spock]

I really relate to this so much. My body is so fraught.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think ptsd is a VERY physical thing and it’s my guess that future diagnostic criteria may include this dynamic.

I hold my trauma in my neck, shoulders, and abdomen. And then there’s the fact that my nervous system is damaged and dysregulated, which just adds in more fun. (Ha.)

I personally think for me that much relief can be obtained through therapy, but the nervous system needs drugs in order to regulate.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I identify with the quote and also what you said. I do experience it physically, in many parts of my body. I also have the startle response too. It is madening, as one wants to be in control at least of one's own person and one's emotions, but no, this disorder simply won't let us have even those simple things in life.

 

[Rumors]

I have things that I feel that happened to me. Like I can feel <<sigh>> him penetrating me (this is the first time I have ever uttered that phrase and it is really hard) down to his breath on the back of my neck to what he tastes like (another first). It is the MOST sickening, disgusting feeling ever. But my therapist thinks we should do emdr on that stuff and I guess I am a little nervous and creeped out by the thought plus I have never uttered a word about what the stuff is and maybe it is just so disgusting I shouldn't do it. My anxiety is about 1,000,000 percent right now. Gotta go do some mindfulness.

 

[Freida]

But my therapist thinks we should do emdr on that stuff and I guess I am a little nervous and creeped out by the thought plus I have never uttered a word about what the stuff is and maybe it is just so disgusting I shouldn't do it.

EMDR is really hard because you basically relive the experience. But it is completely and totally worth it. Once it works those horrible feelings become nothing more than a sad memory of something that happened a long time ago. It breaks the emotional connection between the two. I won't lie -- it is brutal. But so very, very worth it. It works at your own speed -- sometimes I don't go more than 10 or 15 seconds worth of memories at a time. And you don't have to say anything about what happened if you don't want to -- it all works in your mind