Sufferer Ptsd And My Facial Scar Are Slowly Killing Me

[kona355]

I too have a fairly large facial scar and I'm so glad to see you are concerned for your son! I often f...

@Alysia887 - Thank you. I'm glad for what you've told me. I know about being invalidated by well meaning family and friends. This will help when I talk to him.

 

[kona355]

Sorry but I really don't have much advice to give at this point since I can't come to terms with my own...

@Link Removed - Thank you, I'll be careful.

 

[RavenGirl]

@Alysia887 , beautiful. :happy::tup:

 

[Scarface]

Update: My suffering is getting worse. I've tried therapy and it isn't helping. I think what has made it worse is the fact that my reconstructive surgery on my scar failed. The scar hasn't really improved that much.

I feel awful living with this f*cking thing on my face. I can't look people in the eye when it's exposed and try to end conversations as quickly as possible. Otherwise I walk around with a hat or hair in my face. I really don't know what to do. I'm going to suffer until I die with this thing on my face. It has destroyed my self-confidence and self-worth. Something as simple as going to the grocery store is pure agony. I really am beginning to think I've died and gone to hell. It's so sad because I have a healthy body, good job, loving family, and many more things to be thankful for. But I can't seem to look beyond the scar. It is causing me so much mental pain and suffering. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be. I'm scared I'm going to give myself a horrible disease with this constant anxiety. But yet my mind can't stop obsessing about the scar on my face. Looking at it and touching it/feeling the nasty scar tissue on my face makes me sick to my stomach and infuriates me! Why did this have to happen to me, why? Why did my scar heal so poorly, so deep and sunken in? Why couldn't it have been a minor scar that is barely noticable?

Even when I try to do something else, like watch a movie, yoga, work, ect, all I think about is this horrible hell that I'm In. I will never lead life to the fullest with a disfigurement on my face. My quality of life is significantly lower due to my facial deformity. If I wasn't such a damn chicken, I would kill myself. I really would.

I have isolated myself from everyone because I'm that f*cked up in the head over this. But after researching facial trauma and disfigurement, I've found out that it's actually quite common to isolate and become a recluse. It's so debilitating. I can't even go out and enjoy something to get my mind off of it for a bit because it's always front and center for the world to see.

Facial trauma can cause significant psychological and social distress. PTSD, depression, and anxiety, social anxiety, and social isolation are all quite common. However, one of the biggest problems is that facial trauma is pretty rare. So nobody really gets it, unless it's on their face!

Sorry, just had to vent. Things are getting worse, not better and I am at a total loss.

 

[Friday]

To be blunt, 7 months isn't more than starting therapy, much less tried it / didn't work/ done.

PTSD isn't a disorder with a quick fix. It's gonna take some serious time to work through triggers, process your trauma, mange symptoms, build & rebuild your life up into what you want it to be.

I hear ya, I'm not patient, either. I'm up for the 4th time tonight... And this I hate myself bullshit got old a helluva long time ago. But it is what it is; a disorder that can take years to learn how to manage.

 

[Scarface]

Therapy isn't going to fix my face so it won't work. I'm researching another scar revision. But I've decided that if I can't fix my face within a few years, I'm going to end my life. I just can't live happily with a disfigured face. My quality of life is totally shot. The thought of living for years suffering in this hell on earth is just horrible. The depression and anxiety alone will bring on physical health problems, and things will only get worse.

 

[joeylittle]

You're right - therapy won't fix your face. But it can fix your relationship to your face - and that's the real issue.

You believe right now that you cannot live with this. I understand. I have similar issues.

While you are continuing to research scar treatments, why not invest in the most proactive therapy you can?

Nothing to lose by doing so - and potentially lots to gain.

Do you have a kick-ass trauma therapist? Are you doing EMDR?

 

[RavenGirl]

You need therapy to learn how to accept the new you. You aren't the only one who had scars on her face, I do too. I also have stretch marks on my body (some 1/2 - 2/3 inch thick) from my chest to my knees! Do they Bother me, yes. Have I learned to live with them, yes. Have people actually told me I'm attractive despite them, yes. Do I still struggle some days with body issues, yes. But I've never wanted to end my life because of them. I truly believe scars just show how strong we are, they show we did battle. They also prove we SURVIVED! I believe there's more to you than just your looks, I believe / pray you are "DEEPER" inside. I hope you can get to this point in your life too. ;):tup:

 

[Scarface]

Please don't give me that bs line about scars being a reminder that we survived. I HATE that line. The truth of the matter is scars are disfiguring, they suck, and no one wants them, especially on their face!

I refuse to accept the new me. This scar will not win. I will fight for my face back.

 

[Stickler]

Microdermabrasion and-or some sort of plastic surgery to add fill might help fix your facial scar permanently. Until then, since bangs are out and you don't do hats, learning how to do special-effects makeup might be a temp fix?
...We here keep telling you the problem's not exactly your face, but your thoughts about it?
But it's really a choice: you can change your mind OR change your face.
You won't change your mind.
So you'd better get to the plastic surgeon and...probably be prepared to spend the price of at least a new car on removing your scar, I'd guess?
Credit card time?
Maybe you can even find a psych doc who'll say it's medically necessary, but I doubt that.

 

[RavenGirl]

@Scarface, what I'm saying is this. .. I feel sad that you are so hung up on your looks that you are willing to end your life. THUS MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY scarring those who love you who will have to go on living without you. Yes it's your life, but choices we make effect others who love us.

 

[scout86]

I have to confess, I've been reading this (reread the whole thing) and wondering where the line is between "minimizing" and "invalidating" and standing back and not calling BS when someone, on the one hand, seems to be looking for help and, on the other, is holding on to a distorted version of reality for all they're worth. I was also looking for evidence that you've sort help through therapy and all I found was a reference to a T telling you you had PTSD.

So, you had a horrible accident and now have a horrible scar. You are disfigured, then, on the level of the burn survivors we see now and then, face a swirl of scar tissue, no ears, missing parts of fingers, that sort of thing. The kind of face that makes small children scream and little old ladies gasp. I'm truly sorry about that. That would be rough. Not to mention the physical pain that goes in to surviving that sort of thing. And, your life before was perfect. You were attractive, athletic, life of the party, world going your way. And that's, of course, what you wanted and what you deserve? For you, life is an all or none thing, I take it. You get your perfect life in your perfect body or you don't want anything at all?

How you deal with this is a choice. You didn't chose the scar. But how you deal with it is 100% up to you. People have offered a lot of suggestions and encouragement. You have chosen to reject that. Your choice. It honestly makes me angry to think that there are people dying difficult deaths every day who would CHOOSE to live with your scar, if they could only live and you think you're too special to go through life with a disfigurement when you have the opportunity. It sounds like you have family and friends who care about you and love you. They probably would rather you choose to suck it up, deal with this, and stay in their lives. There are people in this world who've never known that who'd gladly take on the scar for the opportunity, if they could. But, of course, they don't have that choice.

I don't know where I'm going with this, other than to vent some frustration with your unbelievably shallow belief system. I guess if you can only find value in life in a perfect body, and you have no interest in learning how to live with what you've got, maybe suicide makes sense. Either you don't think you have anything else to offer the world or you really don't CARE what you might have to offer? Your choice. I seriously doubt you'll convince an organization that you scar is worth dying for so they'd help you do it. But you can definitely spend the rest of your life wallowing in self pity if you want to. You're off to a great start.