aussiegrrl
New Here
Hey
A year ago I witnessed a vehicular homicide on my property between a neighbour and his friend, and its screwed up my way of looking at everything and everyone. I don't want to go outside the house unless I have to, had to pull out of nursing prac because I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. Forget parties because it seems that anyone anywhere can lose it and kill someone?
Ended up on meds triple the dose I'd ever required before during brief stints with depression. Packed weight on which compounded the depression. Liposuction was pointless because its pretty much all back on. Psychiatry helped but since it was insurance related she wasn't able to ever venture off topic. Ihadn't seen her in 3 months because she thought I was fine, but lately Ive been feeling like theres something really drastically WRONG with me and its scares me. Ive gone back to see a psychologist.
I was president of a sports club and looking forward to having a committee that would take on some of the burden of responsibility. NOT SO! suffice to say I quit. My husband says they did nothing wrong and blames me for everything and refuses to leave the club.
I thought I would respect his involvement in the club which takes 4 hours a week, but I cant get over the feeling that he's chosen them over me and they DID do the wrong thing by me. Trust and loyalty are HUGE issues for me.
The day after I quit the club I felt such a RELIEF. I spent all year raging at anything and everything and almost everyone, housework wasn't up to scratch. I didn't really have a chance to process the murder because I had to focus on this damn club and the big public event I'd planned for months. Funnily enough I didn't feel angry at my kids or my pets, (the shrink says its because "they don't know better, everyone else should know better") anyways its like I can FINALLY start to deal with this thing and heal. But my husbands had enough. And in a rage over his disloyalty I booted him out.
Maybe I am just too screwed up to be in a relationship. I had a verbally abusive childhood to two alcoholic parents. I feel like I will never be able to work or be normal.... does this shit feeling ever end?
Thanks for listening to my rant!!!
Probably should have called myself angrygrrrl instead :wall:
A year ago I witnessed a vehicular homicide on my property between a neighbour and his friend, and its screwed up my way of looking at everything and everyone. I don't want to go outside the house unless I have to, had to pull out of nursing prac because I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. Forget parties because it seems that anyone anywhere can lose it and kill someone?
Ended up on meds triple the dose I'd ever required before during brief stints with depression. Packed weight on which compounded the depression. Liposuction was pointless because its pretty much all back on. Psychiatry helped but since it was insurance related she wasn't able to ever venture off topic. Ihadn't seen her in 3 months because she thought I was fine, but lately Ive been feeling like theres something really drastically WRONG with me and its scares me. Ive gone back to see a psychologist.
I was president of a sports club and looking forward to having a committee that would take on some of the burden of responsibility. NOT SO! suffice to say I quit. My husband says they did nothing wrong and blames me for everything and refuses to leave the club.
I thought I would respect his involvement in the club which takes 4 hours a week, but I cant get over the feeling that he's chosen them over me and they DID do the wrong thing by me. Trust and loyalty are HUGE issues for me.
The day after I quit the club I felt such a RELIEF. I spent all year raging at anything and everything and almost everyone, housework wasn't up to scratch. I didn't really have a chance to process the murder because I had to focus on this damn club and the big public event I'd planned for months. Funnily enough I didn't feel angry at my kids or my pets, (the shrink says its because "they don't know better, everyone else should know better") anyways its like I can FINALLY start to deal with this thing and heal. But my husbands had enough. And in a rage over his disloyalty I booted him out.
Maybe I am just too screwed up to be in a relationship. I had a verbally abusive childhood to two alcoholic parents. I feel like I will never be able to work or be normal.... does this shit feeling ever end?
Thanks for listening to my rant!!!
Probably should have called myself angrygrrrl instead :wall:
