Ptsd And Parenting

[GWhizz]

I feel like you're being totally disrespected. This stems from your husband and your son is following suit. I get what you mean about spoiling your children as they grew up, but that doesn't lay the blame on you or give them free passes to disregard and bully you now.

I would have a serious conversation with your husband and possibly in therapy about this. I honestly feel like they need an ultimatum now as their behaviour seems to far gone. Can you really love a man that sees you as a pushover and devalues you? You deserve better. I think he needs to wake up and accept what happened to you or else he's continuing this cycle of abuse toward you. They either love and respect you for your real naked self, scars and all, without seeing what they may get out of you.

You have some tough choices to consider. I can't say I would walk because I know it's so much deeper and more complicated than that. But it comes down to this, do you wish to remain disrespected and used?

 

[Snowflake]

I feel like you're being totally disrespected. This stems from your husband and your son is following su...

I totally agree!! I do think they either need to respect me or they will lose me!!! However-I am so unable to leave right now. I have no strength, no will power, no self esteem to think I CAN do it on my own. I am working on it though. And no ...my husband will not do therapy. He thinks they are quacks-and I need to stop crying abuse.

 

[Snowflake]

Forgive the anecdote, but I feel ill-qualified to give parental advice. I have experience with a simil...

Thank you @St.Maybe

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't think much of anything is going to change until you are able to remove yourself from the abusive home environment.

 

[Snowflake]

I don't think much of anything is going to change until you are able to remove yourself from the...

Unfortunately I agree. I just wanted to know if others, who have PTSD, experience struggles with parenting?

 

[Thizette]

I am not a parent, but I think you should try something else than telling him to stop.
Try mayb...

Agreed. As with any bad behavior, consequences are the only way to make it stop. He keeps doing it because he knows he can get away with it. The thing about children is that we can't cut them out of our lives as a consequence, at least not until they're grown, but we can still enforce consequences and boundaries. What do you do for your son that you can stop doing? Example, "I love you, but I'm not going to do your laundry until you stop doing X." Have one consequence for each negative behavior. He's 20, so you can cut off financial support until he stops swearing at you. He's old enough to get a job and an apartment. Or stop making dinner, or something. Make it very clear that you are withholding something because he's being disrespectful/hurtful/inappropriate, and that if he stops the bad behavior, the consequence will stop.

 

[qwyoey]

I'm going to go against the grain here, but I think for a real path to recovery and a good life, you cannot focus on modifying the actions of people who are abusing you. It doesn't sound to me from reading previous posts that this is an environment for change with 2 against 1. You can try to change your responses to them, but personally I'd really like to see you find a way to get out of this situation and devote your energy to making a path out. It can be hard to see, but there is always a way out. I think the first step would be to look at what resources you have. Call a women's shelter. If you can't make it to the shelter ask if anyone can come out to speak to you. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm struggling with parenting but my kids are 5 & 8 so it's a different journey. I still have control.

I'm sorry things are so hard.