Ptsd And Religion

[Angus McGee]

If God has a problem with how I've handled myself, I guess I'll find out someday but that isn't my focus right now. Survival is.

I suppose you've heard the phrase "hang in there" a thousand times, so I won't patronize you with it.

Thank you for your response.

 

[Angus McGee]

it is just another part of who I am.

Interesting... Were you raised in the faith you now practice, or did you find that faith as an adult?

 

[Deleted member 6617]

I was in my late teens and am now 48. I no longer go to church though because of the crowds and people wanting to ask questions and the worst....give their opinion on how there must be sin in my life for this to have happened to me. It is not my faith in God that comes into question...it is my faith in people. Don't do the organized religion thing anymore because of the people. Small groups and Bible studies are okay though. God has remained a constant...people have not, nor do I expect them to. Hope that helps and doesn't confuse more.

 

[Angus McGee]

Nope, it helps out a lot. Not sure what denomination you're part of, but there's tons of churches out there that stream online nowadays. You get the experience of church while sitting in your boxers.

I totally understand what you mean about faith in God vs. faith in people. For the majority of our marriage, my wife hasn't been a big "church goer" either, and for the very same reasons you stated.

In fact, Chuck Colson has a line that I've always found intriguing.

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable"

 

[The Albatross]

Angus... I didn't read the other posts... because I wanted to just limit it to what happened to me. I'll read through after I'm more rested.

Yes. PTSD and traumas made me want to stop practicing my faith.

I fell away for a number of years... twenties and 30's... but was fortunate to have women who, unbeknownst to me were Christian, and were literally mentoring and "loving me well". As I began to respond and get to know them better, they shared more and I have to say... it wasn't what they said that lead me back to my faith. It was their character, their integrity, their grace in adversity, their unconditional light and love.

I had another crisis of faith about 2 1/2 years ago... spousal betrayal, he being a decon in our church... and I stopped attending because I couldn't stomach going to church and seeing him presenting himself to our pastor and congregation as something pious and godly when what he was doing in our home with porn and finances was anything but. I sat in our upper pews, and went to worship service for a long time... crying quietly. But eventually I did stop going. Apparently the audio/sound man, who is not our deacon went to our pastor... he called me and asked me to come in. I did.

What I got was a big healthy dose of biblical counseling for my spouse and I independently with our pastor and we were partnered in our congregation with a mentor. My mentor and I did an independent study on Psalms 55, 56, and 57 and a book "Trusting God".

I had done this book before, when my main abuser, my father died... and was half hearted about the study... but I was obedient because I was the one who didn't want to be a hypocrite... and I actively chose to have our church mediate our marriage. They have done so off and on for the past year and a half. We have benefited from the mediation and though times are difficult... I am glad I made the decision to "allow" my pastor and mentor (not the general congregation, we were never subjected to gossip... our little church has been really amazing and a biblical example) to see us and our relationship as it really is... and take the suggestions and do the studies that they recommended.

It has improved my marriage because we learned biblical ways to resolve conflicts... godly love and respect... how to rightly convict each other... and both of us chose independently that we wanted God to be the head of our home... and that our union was His mystery... our Christian walk is to learn discipline, right and godly relationship, and to be able to grow and mature together as we live our faith even with adversities and conflicts.

I will pray that your wife has a solid godly Christian woman who will appear and love and accept her until she has the ability to choose to love God and her self again... I will pray that your church will not give up on her... like mine didn't give up on me... and will pray that her Holy Spirit guides her back to Jesus' feet... because that is where I started to heal after my last tramautic break.

Brother, I'll stand in prayer with you over her for her repentance and salvation... never stop the prayers. I stood over my mother in prayer for 10 years... and just before Christmas, she bought a study bible, and is now a member of another congregation and denomination... but she belongs to our Lord. PUSH.... pray until somethin happens.

P.S. This isn't some trumped up testimony... this is my real experience. How fortunate was I that even though I had turned away from God... he didn't turn away from me... he gave me women I could trust and learn from even when I didn't believe Him... and their love and compassion brought me back... because I wanted to be like them... to learn how to have the same confidence, humility, love and kindness with others they had for me.

 

[The Albatross]

P.P.S.... I tend to think more of a conscious decision to live a life based on spiritual principles and my doctrine as stated in it's confession of faith... rather than "doing religion". I do "do it"... but works without faith is dead, right? If my heart, head, and spirit aren't right... and all three aren't on godly principles... then I go back to the basics, and pick myself up and start walking again. Like a wobbly toddler who is trying to walk. I stand up, I fall down, I get stronger... I stand up and get a step... and down I go. I get back up and keep practicing... getting stronger, getting more confident... after this last traumatic break, I don't really think there could possibly be anything that is gonna shake me away from my spiritual beliefs. My marital improvements, and a goodly part of my personal healing have come from them.

 

[Bachall]

Wow. This is so relevant to right now. I believe one thing that may have brought on my current acute symptoms (20 years after abuse and neglect), is that recently I've resolved many questions I had that were interfering with my having a real faith - rather than a belief in God and intellectual belief in the Christian tenants.

I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home. I do not at all blame that sect, faith system, or God, for what happened in that household, and how it went unnoticed in the community of faith for nearly fifteen years.

Okay, I do sort of "blame" fundamentalism for that. That would take quite a long explanation, which I'd be happy to share, if anyone shared the experience of abuse within a clueless religious community.

It does tie in generally with my overall personal insights that helped me with the "problem of God."

So it looks like this, right?

God is love.
God is all-powerful.
God is perfectly just (ie, he knows everything and never makes a mistake in his judgement).

We are already seeing some issues here, I'm sure. ;)

This leaves out the question of the fate of humankind in eternity, which is a whole nother can of worms.

And yet, for me, it turned out the answer did lay in that other can of worms.

God is love eternally, unchanging.
Because love *is* God, and he is making everything that is, in love, that love can never change.
God will never unlove/unmake that which he loves/makes
What God made from the beginning of time was good, but in his love he intended to see it mature and improve.
Humans were intended as, and still are, his chosen partners in that process of maturation.
The human side of that relationship has not lived up to that ideal, with the exception of one person in history.

Within the last three points emerge our suffering. The world, meaning the physical world, isn't done (so I have understood). In its immature state, nature lashes out wildly to achieve balance, from sunspots to reversals of the magnetic poles.

See next post - I'm having wacky visual disturbances and hit "post" instead of touching a word to insert a letter. That post was getting gigantic anyway.

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, Albatross. I forwarded your great post to my wife.

 

[Sammy]

My short answer is yes, PTSD makes holding on to faith harder. Without getting into theology, for me, faith is based on trust. When my PTSD is in high gear, it is difficult for me to trust anyone or anything. I not only struggle with my faith, I do not trust people I should know love and care about me, I do not trust myself or any decisions I make, I do not trust I have anything to offer. I go to church and people who care want to make sure I am OK and I mostly do not want to talk to anyone... Stay out of my space. These are people I love dearly... When I allow myself. But fear starts winning and I start telling myself all kinds of craziness. It is a twisted effort to keep myself safe. I mostly need people to love me at an arms length, let me work it out, don't try to fix me and I will get myself back. It is a battle with PTSD and not my faith. But, faith is the easy target for the anger, hurt and fear.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Angus,

As a PTSD sufferer, I spent years in church and approaching God in a way to seek atonement for my sins. See I had this huge load of self-blame, shame and guilt and figured this was the way to rid myself of it. I also thought that if I did everything "right" God would be pleased and the "wrong" would stop.

After I got worse, my faith crashed. But see, I didn't really have faith in God, I was looking at the institution not the relationship. Spent time reading CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity" and that really helped to put me in the right direction for me.

I don't have a denomination and I have no problem attending any church, but I come "as I am". I just focus on the loving God and loving others and really everything else kind of falls into place.

I also want to thank you for starting this thread. Religion seems to be a taboo, when it really shouldn't be, since it is such an important aspect to so many individual's lives. We should all listen and respect the differences. Too many of us are not accepted in the world, and we should be accepting here, regardless of religious affiliation or lack there of.

 

[Bachall]

So we have suffering which seems to occur randomly from nature. We cannot say now, it would have been better if - who knows? But I do now have confidence that whatever happens in the cosmos, is moving it forwards towards God's final intent. It cannot be otherwise.

Meanwhile, the environment in which we live has become a terribly dangerous place. Human suffering emerges from nature, from others, from our own selves.

The question is, does suffering and pain come from God?

If he is good and just, why cause suffering? If he didn't cause it and is all powerful, why doesn't he stop it? Does he not love us after all?

All the Christian answers to these I've heard were totally lame. Sorry. Every other religion too, really, and I've delved into an awful lot.

This is where I have to go.

First, to correct the structure of the immature world would require unmaking it. Sure, God could probably operate outside those rules, but then he would bump up against "perfectly good" and "just."

We have no idea, after all, whether there are other civilizations in other parts of the universe. That's just one objection.

More down to earth: Because we got carried away here with our carbon emissions, some idyllic Pacific Island nation doesn't get to play out their history?

But this is the "greater good" argument and it is not valid either, by itself. I'm actually not going there.

But while the physical world sweeps away life while swinging between extremes, what if the spiritual world is providing a Safe Harbor?

I started with the thought of throwing away the gate and St. Peter. The line, the checklist, the sinner's prayer. I read and reread, I learned Koine Greek and read it again. None of it is in there.

Hell right after you die, I couldn't find it. It's there at the very end for sure. Like, if Jesus rules in person for 1000 years and you are *still* a crook, okay.

Does it make a difference to think of people swept from disaster to safety into something like another dimension? Kind of like Doctor Who or Stargate. Only way better than imaginable. Oops. Geek alert.

So that's where I am on the natural disaster issue. Personal suffering next.

 

[Ted Moen]

For me assorted traumas (childhood, adolescent, combat) left me confused. I was raised Lutheran and had a strong value structure. I did not lose the value structure, but lost the notion of the authoritarian, male Lutheran God and lost all respect for organized religion. These days I prefer to think of my higher power as female, mother nature if you will, and more distant from the day to day activities of humans than the Lutheran God.

When I first experienced the intrusive thoughts and feelings and anger at a God that would allow traumatic stuff to go on I expressed that anger very directly. I would go to great lengths to attack organized religion and the hypocrisies and inconsistencies and uncaring authorities I perceived. After a couple of years that kind of wound down as I developed my current notions.

Nobody ever ever mentions religion to me anymore. Thanks for the subject line :)

Ted