Relationship Ptsd And Substance Abuse

[HopeForever]

My boyfriend of about 5 months, we lived together for 2 months, and have known each other for 12 years admitted to using heroin on Thursday. He first told his parents, I was out of town until Sunday..and told me then. This is his 3rd round becoming addicted to something..first with heroin.

He has severe PTSD, but refused to do inpatient because he doesn't want to sleep in a room with other people. He has a 5 year old son who is his world, but he's going to lose him if he doesn't get the help that he needs.

He is getting evaluated at the VA, and tomorrow he should be getting the recommendation for inpatient or outpatient treatment.

Does anyone else have experience with this? I have seen him going downhill the past month, I suspected he was using something..but he wouldn't admit. I knew that he was in a major "funk" as he calls them- He hadn't been sleeping anymore, was distant to me, and depressed.

He is staying with his brother, as he doesn't want me to see him through his detox, and he's extremely hard headed. He's talking to me every day on the phone a little, but won't let me come see him..he insists on doing this on his own.

I know its the PTSD, combined with his stubborn personality, but how much time should I give him to be distant? Or what else should I expect in his PTSD/Subtance abuse treatment.

 

[amethist]

Hi Sarah

If he is doing his best to come off the heroin, you should give him this time at least. Also see how his evaluation goes and see what he intends to do with what is offered.

It sound like he is trying to keep the worst bits away from you, good for him I say. It is not a pretty sight to see them suffer, and it sound like he does not want to upset you with it all.

So if you willing, it looks like a wait and see time for you. give him at least until he finds out what his options are and give him chance to act on them.

While all this is going on, look after yourself. do things you would normally do, go out with friends, go shopping. If you let these things go now, you will have nothing to fall back on if it gets worse.

 

[HopeForever]

Thanks, I did give him his space, and after 2 days he let me come down to drop him off food. After 45 minutes of silence, he asked me to take him to the VA to get his medicine..he's never let anyone help him ever in situations like this, and even showed me the inpatient/outpatient PTSD/substance abuse floor where he would be going. So..I'm taking it day by day, but this is the farthest he's ever come in this process according to his family..and yes, I am keeping my distance, and taking care of me.

 

[amethist]

Hi Sarah

To me that shows that he trusts you enough to share some of what he is doing.

You are doing all the right things, taking him food if he needs it is good, and keeping your distance in between is good too. Helping him when he asks is a wonderful way of being there for him.

Taking care of yourself is excellent, not easy but vital to your own well being.