Relationship Ptsd As An Excuse?

[Deleted member 28812]

R U being serious? A male thing *lol*. Because a lot of men blame women on being like this (and I even think that they are often right).

My husband had trouble picking his clothes but that was for mental health reasons because he had trouble making choices - just overwhelmed by too many choices and then he felt like "OM Gosh, what am I supposed to do". I know that this sounds unusual but to him that was no laughing matter because he had a time when he just could not deal with choices and wanted other people to make those choices for him.

 

[ihateusernames]

Yes @Lemontree a male thing- as in the female stereotype has gone to their heads and they feel they can do no wrong in this area. Is that not what you said?

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Nope when I said "Men!" I wanted to say that men are snobby and don't even see that they are what the criticize in others *lol*.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I can only say that with my ex I would be so wrapped up in his issues and my compassion for what he dealt with that it took years for me to finally hear his "it's my PTSD" as his standard and reason for not taking accountability for his actions. Love can make women stupid. And swimming thru the turbulent seas of PTSD is just crazy and confusing, I used to hate when people would tell me don't accept anything from someone with PTSD that you wouldn't from someone without PTSD, but deep down it is the only thing you can do. Accept what you can, but it's no excuse for disrespect.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

but deep down it is the only thing you can do.

Thanks for sharing.
Why do you think so? Do you think that this is always the case? No matter what the symptom in question is?

 

[anthony]

Is it common for military vets to continue with a military perspective or is that something else?

That is military, not veteran, not PTSD. Some people just won't let it go, some will. I have friends who just won't let it go... they're 100% and they just live and breathe it still. Patriotism or something, I don't know. I don't hang with them much, for that reason... as I've let it all go, it was in the past, and my focus is the present, not past or future.

 

[Sighs]

@anthony - I agree that its not PTSD - just military. I would say with my vet its a case of can't let it go rather than won't. He always says his blood's not green, but after 24 years he concedes that he is institutionalized.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I heard that the lifers sometimes do think civvy street is boring (and that's why they need a fast car or a motorcycle *lol*).

 

[Tanishq]

When I fail, I failed. Not the PTSD.

 

[Sighs]

@Lemontree - Mine was a paratrooper. I'm not sure anything on civvy street can compare with the adrenalin rush of jumping out of a plane into a hot zone! Mine rides an ex-racehorse rather than a motorbike. He's famous in our neighbourhood for overtaking a car at a flat our gallop up a hill on a dirt road. If only I could persuade him to wear a helmet!!!:eek:

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Sighs mine has a big ole Harley that he tears around on... and did I mention that he has partial paralysis on one side? Can't seem to get the idea through to him that only having one good leg and motorcycles are a dangerous combination...

 

[Diana ed]

I think my husband is using his suspected PTSD as an excuse.

Firstly he walked out of his job when he couldn't get the transfer he wanted, he got upset and his boss suggested he may have PTSD.

Now he won't get a job, as according to him he won't do anything while he has this medical assessment to diagnoise ptsd hanging over him.

When I say we can't afford to go out all the time with him not having a job he throws things about, accuses me of not understanding and I should read up on ptsd, it's like he has started to mimic all the symptoms to prove to the world he has it. He has everyone sympathising over him despite the fact he has thrown things at me causing really bad bruising, I should understand apparently.

The thing is he has always been this way tantrums and aggression, he has walked out of jobs cause he didn't like young wannabes telling him want to do.

When I had severe anxiety he threw me out telling me I was a nutter, now he has this, he's telling me I had nothing wrong with me and his is lifelong.

I can't cope with it, he said to me what have I done with my life, I tell him I gave you six beautiful children in return he says a dog can do that and they can do it in one litter you took 10yrs.

He won't sleep with me cause I'm fat and he doesn't like fat women, he befriends all my friends so he can make himself look great to them so when I tell them how he is they don't believe me.

He humiliates me in public and makes me feel like nothing,

If I argue with him in the car he slams on his breaks and physically gets me out of car then when I look upset ie at his parents he will kick me under table so I smile.

He has locked me in a cupboard and kicked a door into my head and while I was pregnant he pushed me into a draw and kicked a case into my belly, some of this was going on well before he went on any tours, yet now he has this excuse so he's worse than ever.

He has everyone twisted round his little finger making me so alone, he won't let any of my family visit me so I'm completely isolated.

How can he play this card and everyone feel sorry for him, he even now takes my phone of me so he can look what I'm writing about him, yet he has blocked and deleted me from Facebook so he can write what he wants about me on there so he comes across as amazing. He will delete entire status of someone disagrees with him, so again he looks good.

How can this be PTSD, he doesn't have nightmares, he doesn't twitch, he sleeps very soundly, the only thing he has is aggression and paranoia.