Other Ptsd Due To Being Controlled By A Cult

[elektriknathan]

Greetings all,
I was involved in a cult (thats what I consider it to be).
This cult was operating under a respectable religious denominations banner but it is still a cult. The pastor of this church was telling people how to live their lives and was also seeking to pair couples up in the church. He also was urging my father to kick me out of the house so I would be independent (none of his business) the list goes on

My question is to all who come across this thread, have you been involved in a cult or something similar and are you feeling like your trapped or oppressed all the time? Also, have you been experiencing flashbacks? The answer to the aforementioned questions for me is yes to both. I even woke up from a strange dream associated with it
Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you all

 

[Ronin]

No to both, but I have a set of triggers that drive me very over the edge very fast that wouldn't happen the same way with different trauma origins, I don't think.

 

[elektriknathan]

No to both, but I have a set of triggers that drive me very over the edge very fast that wouldn't happen t...

What do you mean?

 

[Ronin]

@elektriknathan, that they wouldn't be the same nigh on impossible to get over if it wasn't things drilled into me over and over in months and years of sleep deprivation and other fun stuff.

Things learned in captivity are a whole different animal to those learned in trauma, but not held, times.

 

[elektriknathan]

I see
I myself have noticed a strong difference with me and my personality prior and after the cult.
Before the cult I was carefree, hardly worrying, looking forward to challenges and I had a little bit of fear associated with past trauma but it was barely effecting me. Now after cult and more trauma I feel vulnerable all the time and like I need someone to constantly oppress me and I even relive being oppressed and have urges to do it myself.

 

[Ronin]

Would it help you if you acknowledged that's a fact of life (re: oppression) and something that's always there in some way, you don't have to pay mind to it always though, and can return to your carefree, yet more informed, mindset?

Not that you'd be the same person; but that happens with aging without cults as well.

 

[elektriknathan]

Would it help you if you acknowledged that's a fact of life (re: oppression) and something that's always t...

I don't think that would help. But thanks for your understanding
I know oppression is a fact of life for some and it was my fact but I am suffering from PTSD and something that is called complex trauma. I'm at the state where I need to release what happened with someone qualified and make sense of it all. That hasn't happened yet
Trauma and harm is all I've ever known. I've never had respite from it. So, whenever there's a chance for freedom I am fearful of fleeing because I need the trauma. I'm checking in with a new psychologist today, shall see what happens.

 

[Ronin]

Good luck on your appointment and hope it's a good new start. :tup:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

have you been involved in a cult

I grew up in a cult headed by my mom & step dad.

are you feeling like your trapped or oppressed all the time?

I feel trapped inside myself. Like the "real me" is trapped inside of a brainwashed mind and fighting to get out.

Also, have you been experiencing flashbacks?

All the time!

 

[Friday]

Things learned in captivity are a whole different animal to those learned in trauma, but not held, times.

f*ck that's useful/helpful/head tilting. Helps snick some fine unset bones into place.

My question is to all who come across this thread, have you been involved in a cult or something similar and are you feeling like your trapped or oppressed all the time?

Same as Ronin, myself, no. Around the outside edges (people I love or care about), yes.

 

[elektriknathan]

I

Good luck on your appointment and hope it's a good new start. :tup:

thank you. I hope so too. I think it will be

 

[Ronin]

I hope so too. I think it will be

Well, nutbags, you've already gotten through, so it shouldn't be worse than /that/ plays into your hands :)