Ptsd For Dummies!!!

[Steph_F]

Princess, I am so glad that you found this place then, there is not much that you have, are or will experience that someone else has not know first-hand.

I also wish that my guy had a way of letting me know to back up and give him some space and do so without being so rude and hurtful. I try to tell him that I understand that sometimes its best when he works through things alone, and that I am still there for him should he need me for anything and that I will be be ok while he takes all the time he needs and when he ready, I'll welcome him back with open arms and a forgiving heart. Then I shoot him a few texts here and there, just telling him about my day just so that he knows I'm thinking about him, but not requiring anything of him. That way he knows that I am not running around with someone else or hurting or angry with him and that I am waiting it out.

Most of time that works well for us, but sometimes (like now) it doesn't, he still finds fault in everything I do or don't do. *sigh* but I am trying my best to keep my chin up/

 

[princessx]

Steph, keep that chin way up! I can tell that you're a strong woman with alot of love in your heart, don't ever change that and let the world change who you are.

Forgiveness is golden in these relationships. It's the only way to move on and progress into a stronger connection. Unfortunately, forgiveness only went so far with me. My ex was also sometimes rude and hurtful but I knew not to take it personally and I'd forgive him. My dad used to suffer with PTSD through my childhood so I've seen a glimpse of how this effects a relationship. My mom always forgave him and welcomed him with welcome arms, as you do and things only got better for them. In my situation, my ex just pushed me away out of nowhere one day. Only yesterday did he tell me that he doesn't feel he has what it takes to be with me. :(

I like to hope the Bible is right and that love conquers all, but we'll see. I'm suffering through my own sadness now and feeling forgotten but I know I need to get out of it and see what's really going on.

 

[Steph_F]

I heard the same thing last December, that I deserve to be with someone better and that he is not worthy of me. I told him that I took that as an insult, because I know I am worthy of the best and I know myself better than anyone and if I chose him as the cream of the crop and there was nothing he could do to change my mind about it! haha! God knows that man tried to change my mind, but I'm as stubborn as he is!

I bet your man didn't mean to tell you that he doesn't feel that he has what it takes to be with you because you are too hard to be with, or too hard to handle or too high maintanence or any of the things that you might be thinking. (if you are though...knock it off! ;) ). Like Fargo said always says, listen to the words that he tells you, not what you think that he is telling you. HE feels that HE doesn't have have what it takes to be with you. This is not about you honey, its about him. Time, space, prayers, venting on here, patience and taking time for you to enjoy YOUR life is what is going to help you both.

 

[princessx]

I know exactly what you mean and I'm doing my best to enjoy the time with myself now. It's just incredibly difficult when he was my best friend and now he won't initiate any type of contact with me. He completely pushes me away and just acts like I never meant anything. At first, I took it so hard because I didn't realize what was going on - sometimes I would forget how much PTSD really effects him. Only once I sat back did I see the big picture. I know he doesn't feel worthy of me and doesn't feeel like he can give me what I want but just like you, I told him last night that I don't see what he does and that he was exactly everything I wanted. Once I said that, he didn't respond. -huge shrug- It's going to be two months at the end of June and I just feel like I'm almost crazy for hanging on?! I don't know, it's hard to really describe. Most people tell me I'm nuts.

Thank you for your amazing advice. I'm definitely giving him the space, time, and saying so many prayers.