Sufferer Ptsd From Past And Medical Care

[SBee]

I don't know where to start to introduce myself and why I am here. I guess suffice it to say I was very abused as a child, and lucky to have survived. I overcame a lot, with the help of a lot of therapy, but a lot of the past fears/trauma came barreling back at me when I've recently gone thru some life threatening health issues.

More than that, the trauma has seemed intensified by care (or lack thereof) from doctors who blame some real health issues (medically documented strokes, seizures, a repaired hole in my heart that led to strokes, etc.) on me just being "neurotic" because of my past, and therefore won't consider that I have real medical issues. I've been labeled and the label won't go away.

Right now I'm just trying to keep my emotional health from getting even worse and myself sane, and especially away from suicidal ideation. I'm a fighter, but sick of being sick.

 

[safenow]

This is an excerpt from one of my old journals. It is part of an entry that I brought forth here this morning:

"It took several more years to find the medical tests that showed how sick I really was. In that time, there were doctors who believed that I was ill and did everything they could, at great expense, to diagnose the problem. There were also those who would not listen. They labeled me neurotic or depressed. I would leave their offices feeling frustrated and humiliated, not knowing how much longer I could continue. As discouragement set in, the old doubts about my sanity would return.

"Several more years into my search, a new physician suggested an explanation for my condition that no one else had considered. I researched this illness and was amazed at the similarities between my symptoms and those listed in the corresponding section of the medical manual. Best of all, the disease was treatable. I was elated, for it seemed that the unknown was finally assuming a face."

Many of us here can understand where you are coming from, SBee. I"m sorry you are at the beginning of this horrible journey. Put on your seat-belt, because this is going to be a roller-coaster ride for you. I'm sorry I can't give you better news. But in spite of that, I can give you this good news: You are in the right place. You are now among people who will listen and talk to you and not shy away. Here, we care.

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. It has been a real life saver for many of us. Take your time and look around. Lots of great information here as well as wonderful, caring, sensitive people.

safenow.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have an appointment on Tuesday to talk to a doctor about intense abdominal pain I have been having for three years. It has taken a lot of encouragement from everyone in my life who cares about me to get me to go see a doctor because I find doctors to be so dehumanizing. It is really hard. :(

 

[Phenioxrising]

I've been going through 4 years now of abdominal pain. I've suffered from C-PTSD since 04, and found tht talking about my traumatic events has helped a great deal.

You can't really understand the somatic pain that happens, but unprocessed trauma haunts you. Even some trauma that you might not consider. Remeron has helped me with the subsideing depression, but it's an ongoing process.

 

[Pencil]

intense abdominal pain

I liked your post for totally selfish reasons. I've been having abdominal pain for 2 years now. After my biopsy (breast tumour) I asked the hospital doc about the abdominal pain. As she was poking and prodding me, I could see her mentally going 'Munchhausen!!' Cow! I have to go to another doc to have it checked out.

I'd like to know how your exam. went.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I've been diagnosed with cronic pancreatitis, though the enzyme levels don't always rise with some of the pain attacks. Processing my trauma has helped a lot, and talking to my T. After years of being on narcs. the Dr's give me a care plan where I get an inj. of I.V benadryl which helps. (Think of it as a allergy to people). LOL.

Two yrs. ago I had a endoscopy which revieled cancerous cells, But no Dr. would take me very seriously, and many gave up.
After reading a Physh. book on C-PTSD I processed my abuse with many friends and have found it helps.

Although I still get pain, last yr. I had a repeat endoscopy and they found my stomach healed, (no cancerous cells).
Narcs. don't help much, you have to keep incerasing them, .but my G.I. doc. put me on a carre plan to get I.V benadryl to deal with the pain occationally. Last yr. I had to go to the er over 130 times. but have only had a handfull of times this yr.

Somatic pain really sucks, and you can't really understand what abuse/trauma does to the mind and how it affects your body. But all that pain really did make me think I was dieing. My docs. call me a miracle

 

[ericaboo]

Welcome SBee,

Have you been able to get back into therapy for your recurring symptoms? Have you ever gotten a definitive diagnosis of PTSD?

I think you can find great support on this site - big hugs...

-Erica

 

[SBee]

Thank you all, more than you will ever know, for your replies. I'm a blubbering fool, but your responses made me cry. I was feeling so alone. Sharing your diaries and own situations is very generous of you, and will always be appreciated by me. Yes, I have PTSD and I am in therapy. Again. Actually, I've had a lot of therapy in my life. Your responses have also left me a lot to ponder ... for the good. Thank you all sooooo very much.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to our forum community.

I was feeling so alone.

Not anymore, lots of information and support here.

 

[SBee]

(Think of it as a allergy to people). LOL.

When I go to an ER room and am asked about allergies, I always say "doctors". :)Maybe I should try benadryl, ha ha. I'm sorry for all you have been through though, and all everyone here has been through.
Hugs,
Bee

 

[intothelight]

Hi SBee,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

PTSD symptoms seem to come back and bite a person when stress increases and being ill is a huge stressor. I am sorry the doctors you have encountered seem to want to write it off as "all in your head", as that is so invalidating and demeaning. Maybe someday the medical profession will understand what is "in one's head" has a direct relationship with physical health and stop trying to treat as though the two were separate.

I hope you find the information and support here helpful as you work on healing. I also hope you find a physician that understands the importance of treating the whole person.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[SBee]

Yes, the mind body connection is huge, and it doesn't matter where it comes from, or if the chicken or egg came first, so to speak. We are all human, and hope to be treated with the dignity and respect each of us deserve. I find it ironic that the therapist I now see at some doctors' urging is treating me for stress that these same doctors inflicted also.