Ptsd Is Whole-body Tragedy (having Horrible Day)

[Ocean5]

I'm having a horrible day - days. I'm not even thinking of anything negative or bad (and I'm so tired of people thinking PTSD is just a "thinking" disorder. Like I can just change my thoughts and I'll be fine. It's also a serious body disorder.)

This quote sums it up, “PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.” - Susan Pease Banitt

I just want to get some work done. But my body is so tense and stressed. It's like a "nervous energy" running through me that won't calm down. Even siting at computer my leg won't stop moving. I went for a long walk. I rarely take Xanax, but even my regular dose for panic didn't help. I'm prescribed a larger dosage (.5mg) if needed, but tried that once, and it left me like a zombie on couch. And I want to work - not end up on couch.

Any advice on how to calm the body down - relax it? (Besides usual meditation, music, walking...) Calming body has been one of my main issues.

But to try to be positive I found these positive quotes I am reading...maybe it will help others.
https://www.pinterest.com/jessmontg22/be-encouraged-ptsd-tbi-wounded-warriors/

 

[Neverthesame]

Have you tried a more vigorous exercise? Your body may just be a used to light exercise. You could try a run, or lifting some weights. Followed by a light snack with fruit, to give you some energy back without making you hyper.

Edit: Just thought of something else. You might want to try taking more frequent but shorter breaks. I do that where I work. I find it helpful to break up my day, as well as not stare at the clock. I find I need fewer breaks knowing I can have one whenever I want. I also don't need to be as mindful of the time.

When I am having a day where I am having trouble keeping motivated, I try to set little goals for myself to meet, followed by a very short break 2-3 mins. Enough time to drink some water, get myself re-centered, then carry on with the next task.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree that exercise can help. I know that it helps me. I really do need to start running again.... Even if not in the immediate, it definitely helps overall. I have had this nervous energy my whole life. As a kid, I would go nuts in class because we only had recess at noon, so my energy levels were off the wall. I really do think kids should get more recess time.... LOL, or maybe now they do?

 

[Ocean5]

Good suggestion. I use to run, but I'd run too much, and pushed my body too far (suffered ankle injury that seems to come back every time I start again.) But I do miss running, and it did help me so much (though I didn't realize the degree I was messed-up with ptsd then.)

But now things are worse in my life and condition.

I'm going to take your suggestion on weights - I have resistant bands I haven't used in awhile, But weights might help break cycle.

It's funny you said "hyper"...most consider me such a calm and laid back person. But my leg movements right now say otherwise.

 

[IrisL]

The exercise I find it too sometimes good, at my previous place I had a box bag - which was a great use.
And a weird one helps - champagne or prosecco - even if I get drunk - not waisted! When you just pissed...from it my brain is like a highway road and can done the necessary. When I reach the pissed a bit point - 1 glass of water in the process - Don't get drunk !!! Is not good ... What is really bad for me if I'm like that if I drink a lots of coffee :/
Or two different type of bath water temperature - sometimes for me is works the cold or horrible hot bath... But is depends ...or find a good joke.
Somehow try to make myself laugh - with movie... Or I have no clue why but sometimes really depressive movie works too...
At me i know if something isn't working when I get angry.
I think first you shouldn't concentrate on that to get out from it( I always get more deeper in that state), try to figure it out what would you like to do if you wouldn't have to work- try it maybe would work... I think is try not to concentrate on your tiredness.
Hope is helps something
I know easy to say... Think of something which you like to attention or love to do... Even if the most silly thing is in your mind.like eat a certain cake or food...
And helps but it's only in long term so it will be not immediate effect B6 and B12 vitamins. And sometimes I'm taking Q10 too...

 

[Chava]

Totally a body issue because trauma severely dysregulates the autonomic nervous system. I get into hyper modes and find that many forms of exercise exacerbate my feelings of buzzing, mania, anxiety, etc....I just run myself into the ground. Like I'm running, running, running...CRASH. The middle ground is hard. Calming stuff does not always help if I think of "calming" as stuff like lavender oil and slow music and trying to meditate. My body just tells me I'm trapped. I need movement, but SLOW and thoughtful-organized movement, like pushing against something heavy (I use resistance work stuff too), Pilates, machines. Not frenzied, but slow and mindful and allow excess energy to safely and gently exit vs just stir up more energy. Not sure if that makes sense or will help you.

I'm working more with a trauma forum that is more somatic focused and much more research is happening in this area (not sure what links I can include). I've also been doing Somatic Experiencing. Most of my symptoms are somatic, including how I re-experience traumas (primarily physical abuse, medical trauma, assault....all trauma in dysregulating nervous systems but also bodily harms...everything got so screwed up for me). Hope you find things that help you come a little closer to middle.

 

[Ocean5]

Thanks everyone for your support and advice. I appreciate it. Been under much personal and professional stress that's just making things worse (and maybe new medicine making it worse.) I will be rereading all this advice.

My body just tells me I'm trapped. I need movement, but SLOW and thoughtful-organized movement...

That's a good way to describe part of it - trapped.

Chava - yes that makes sense. "Controlled movement" - it's what trauma Dr. Bessel Kolk was talking about in a podcast. Slow thoughtful movement to try to reconnect the body and mind. Link Removed

While yoga is not for me I started to learn Tai Chi after hearing interview. But there was so much to remember. I see there are different styles. I think I will revisit learning that tomorrow.

 

[Chava]

Tai Chi sounds good. Yes, I think the movement that puts mind and body in sync helps a lot (vs frenzied or mindless fidgeting or pacing or whatever else I do). Slower but heavier resistance stuff helps when I feel a wave of panic coming (so good for surge of energy), but any of the mind-body stuff seems helpful for "slowing down" (not forcing yourself to stop). It's really a process. I tried to force calm upon myself....laying on my stomach or in child's pose does help, but any other stillness...not so much. But I think we all have to experiment and find our thing. Yoga isn't for me either, but it's been helpful to try lots of different things.

A big piece of my healing is having and creating new body experiences that are positive...to overwrite the old, negative ones. So even if I'm horrible at tai chi, taking a class felt pretty good. Something new, something safe, a way to connect to my body without feeling trapped.

p.s. I'm so grateful for people like van der Kolk working in the trauma field. Thanks for links.

 

[SabrinaB]

Struggling similarly and still seeking the ever elusive mix of strategies to help regulate my body. Amen, amen, amen to your insistence that it's a body versus thinking disorder!! I feel less alone every time I hear this validation from others.

Ended up in a writhing, crying heap on my kitchen floor two days ago, feeling like a complete failure because I couldn't head off the symptom onslaught before it overtook me. Afterword came to the harsh realization that it's out of my control. I have a will of iron, yet am powerless over this monster.

Need to keep reminding myself that PTSD is chronic in nature, similar to illnesses such as diabetes and COPD. I'm forced to adjust my life around it and manage the aspects that are within my control, but other than that there's very little I have power over. No amount of effort will make it go away or stop it from hijacking my life. It's dreadful and I hate it but there's a degree of relief in knowing the symptoms aren't my fault.

 

[Blue Survivor]

@Ocean5 this is a great post. I absolutely hate that feeling, and I just had it all yesterday morning too. Just that "I am so nervous and having that fight-or-flight response for no particular reason" feeling.

Besides a good diet and (almost) daily cardio, I find that one thing helps me: melatonin. That's the natural hormone that people's brain's secrete at dusk to induce sleep. I do use it to fall asleep if I have to (I work nights) but one 'side effect' that I've noticed is that it seems to slow down my brain, so to speak. Which is at times a good thing if I'm having a day like you did.

I did once try a detox diet to re-set my adrenal system, but that was due to me being on a high dose of prednisone for a short period of time because of a horrific allergic reaction. Apparently prednisone suppresses your adrenal system, which was great for my allergic reaction but horrible afterwards.

 

[Seasounds]

@Ocean5 in response to your first post, I am whole-heartily (no pun intended) with you. I find, that even though a lot of different modalities have and do help me, if the practitioner works from the premise that PTSD is a mindbody condition, it makes all the difference in the world

.Someone who thinks non-whole, teaches, and models to their patients/me, to think non-whole. It is a disassociative model. From my experience, this approach teaches dis-integration. and further dysfunction.

I work hard to find mindbody/whole-thinking Providers; sometimes they are willing to be trained. Like the general public, they have learned from a non-whole model. For that reason, I am patient, and to not be too frustrated, do a lot of re-framing.

Telling myself, for example, that a non-whole minded therapist, who wants me to write and repeat good thoughts to myself, is limited in their approach, meanwhile they offer a good tool. When doing the exercise, i USE A MINDBODY APPROACH, when i do the exercises.

You are right! I appreciate you support to think mindbody whole! :)

 

[Ocean5]

Thank you all for sharing and support. It does truly help to read other's experiences and advice.