Ptsd Messing With My Life

[Aion]

I recently started living with my boyfriend. We've dated for about a year. Hes very outgoing and I used to be. But every time he talks about going to a friend's birthday party or something like that I get very anxious and I really, really, don't want to go. Though I know it's kind of a good therapy to expose myself to those triggering and uncomfortable situations. I've talked to him and he says he understands but still wishes I was a little bit more outgoing. He says when we do go to parties together I don't talk to people much or do anything. Which I agree kind of.

i just ca't shake off the twisting in my gut when I know I'll be going to a party or get together. I've experienced Domestic violence which I've only gotten away from around a year and a half ago. And it's triggering for me because it seemed like parties and events or get togethers always escalated with my abusive ex. One time after a party he even tried to kill me so; you can understand why being at parties or things of the sort make me anxiety prone. :(

Any advice?

 

[arfie]

Been there. Still am, really, but, as you said, challenging it has great healing value and comforts my loved ones greatly. All 4 generations of them. Who wants a mother that can't even show up for a wedding? Sometimes I even manage to get outside myself and have a good time.

I carry my therapy journal to these events. If I am geeking even more than usual I will also carry one or three of my meditation readers. When I am feeling overwhelmed I quietly slip away and take some therapy time. Gets me through the event. Alas, I still don't love it, but I love the people I do it for.

Hope you find what works for you.