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MVA Ptsd (non) - Military Related - Train Accident Survivors

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zitioba

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Hi,

Been eight years since I have re-counted this story of a very painful part of my life. I suffer like all of you.

Just graduated university, and was on a Euro-trip with Mother and Sister. Madrid, San Sebastian,Biarritz,Lourdes.. We end up in Paris, and after visiting the Versailles grounds we took the RER train back to Paris.This memory has burned and eched into subconscious. My mother and sister were casually walking by all the lorries when from the corner of my eye I see two little gypsy boys on the train take a spit directly at my mothers face. I reacted.. literally running for the doors to accost these little shits and I was able to throw one punch but the doors closed and I fell in between a 3 ft gap. I recognized I had to get up soon or I was going to be shredded, I was able to get half of my torso above the platform and before I could swing my leg over the train started to move and began to crush my pelvis, and basically pin my torso in between the platform in train for about 4-5 lorries worth.

I can remember the shock.. basically I knew at this point in my life I could never survive an accident of this magnitude. I was wrong. I was carried back onto the platform by mother and several strangers (remember an irish nurse on vacation as well), the whole time I could feel my entire pelvis float freely throughout my abdomen, the nerve pain was 15/10.

I was bed ridden for 9 months, lost 120 pounds, and had to learn how to walk all over again. The most challenging experience of it all, physical; but was I naive and wrong the mental suffering has now consumed majority of my life. I have had 47 surgeries, sacral,acetabular, fractures, sciatic never damage on both legs (one drop foot). Not to mention all my Urological problems that I did not even know would change my quality of life..for any 23 year it was very hard to hear from the MD that I could never have children naturally Unknowingly months earlier, little did I know that surgeons in Paris had removed my prostate as it was badly damaged beyond recovery. I didn't understand the connection only until after, it felt like my human contribution to this world was over because they could not even find sperm in any biopsy sample they took, and they took 13... it hurt literally I was not drugged which I should have. I was 23.....fresh out of college...my life officially over

2016 I am now 31... married.. have a 5 year old and have another on the way, still fighting to overcome this and to the best ability I can. Hope anyone with pelvic fractures similar medical problems are more welcome to discuss similar issues.
 
I don't have experience with this, but I wanted to let you know that I read it and think of you and hope you're doing well (or will feel well soon). I do have pelvic issues and some physical disabilities, but I don't think this can be compared (although maybe we encounter some similar issues in life).

My partner and I might both be not fertile. Me, because of multiple issues/diseases and medication. My partner had a testicle torsion when he was like 10 years old and that didn't get treated until 3 days later. But we don't know for sure. I can imagine it feels like you lost a big part of yourself by losing your fertility and as if you have no 'purpose'. But this doesn't make you less human or less manly, although this will probably take a while before you can feel this too. And you can still be really 'useful' or helpful and can make goals in life. I hope you will be able to (eventually) feel this, although it's really tough.
I think you're really strong and have already come really far, despite the things you're struggling with. I hope you will find the support you need and can improve (even more). Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you lots of luck.
 
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