General Ptsd Or Just A Person Who Can Only See From Their View

[SaladBagle]

Well, Im not in the military but do have PTSD and blind rage explosions. A bit different but...

Usually I do just let him explode, especially when he is just ranting at traffic. Though sometimes, when he is really doing something that irritates or hurts me I have to get angry. Often, if he does not see my side of the argument just telling him does not mean anything. There is no cool down and apology later. He'll cool down but as far as he concerned he's done nothing wrong. That's one of the biggest things, he'll flip out then be fine a few minutes later. Me, I'm still hurting from his rant. When he finds out he's mad at me for it. his reasoning in his words it, "I get angry and flip out but I don't stay mad." (Staying mad is being angry longer than he does, if he feels better you should too). He can't seem to understand I never got to deal with his rant at me and yelling at someone does not become ok just because you don't feel angry later. When I get angry I do not flip out on people, I want to get away not talk to them for a while. Later I want to talk about the issue. I deal with it differently than he does and he can't seem to understand this.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't think that he means too. He just can't seem to understand that people think and feel differently than him.

I just wanted to say - since he hasn't been diagnosed, and because this is more a hallmark of bullheadedness than mental illness, I'd be inclined to say try some couples counseling, and anger management might be useful for him. If he seriously thinks he has PTSD, he should get it looked at.

I (unfortunately) feel like he's railroading you with no regard for your feelings.

But I also have absolutely no patience for anyone who disrespects animals or treats them cruelly. I've had parakeets, it's really clear when they are upset. Him going after them as you describe is just willfully disregarding their discomfort...which is what it sounds like he's doing to you, as well.

 

[dulcia]

To be honest, to me this just sounds like two people who don't get along. i don't see PTSD here at all...

My SO is a combat vet with diagnosed PTSD and has some of the same behavior traits you mentioned here: short temper while driving, bouts of anger/frustration that can seem unprovoked, and what seems to be complete disregard for things I feel importantly about. Here's what I've taken away from it.....

He has a short temper and is overly critical of others while driving (especially in traffic) or in crowds because he is not in control of the situation and that makes him anxious. We argue sometimes when he becomes angry over what seems like nothing -- but this namely happens when I am ignoring the signs, whether it be an anniversary, a small trigger, or something else he is concerned about but not dealing with (school, psych appointment, distrust in meds, etc.) and when I don't disengage when I need to. (I have had a problem backing down in the past, when disengaging would have stopped an argument/fight before it started.) As for disregard for things I feel importantly about, this is a hard one for me, but a big part of that is that we are complete opposites in every aspect -- personality, political beliefs, religious beliefs, how we were raised, where we were raised, who we were raised by, etc. Furthermore, the military hardened a lot of things for him, which has resulted in an apparent lack of empathy (I am overly empathetic), hyper-vigilance and distrust (I am over trusting), dislike/distrust of darker skin men who look similar to those he met in combat (I am a huge advocate for loving everyone no matter what). Some of these things he can't change and don't make sense now that he is out of combat, but that's what we're working with. Once I stopped trying to change his outlook on things or trying to convince him to see things my way, it stopped being as much of an issue. I had to accept that he is who he is for reasons that cannot be changed, just as I am who I am for other reasons, and that neither of us will be able to or should want to change the other. Now that doesn't mean I don't make my feelings and opinions known, but I otherwise don't badger him about them unless I see something that is crossing a boundary for me, then I speak up in a clear,non-judgemental way.

From what I have read throughout the forum, most of the other posters here have much more experience with diagnoses, especially PTSD. But this is my own two cents from what I've come to see in my relationship.