Which, in a subtle way, means the guy is choosing.
Women have a much larger selection of men to choose from due to women being being highly sought after, especially a high value guy, whereas a man, has a much smaller selection of women to choose from, especially a high quality woman. Any man and woman can see that when dating. Even terrible looking and terrible acting women can easily go score a new partner very quickly whereas a guy definitely cannot do the same. That is why they have ladies night at bars to draw men in because women are there and why last call for alcohol always ends up having a ton of guys with pretty much no more women because the ones that wanted to go home with guys already got picked up and left the ones that they didn't pick behind. Dating websites show the same stats. So in reality, it is women who pick the guys, guys just get to decide if the women that chose them are ones they want to stick around with and give the woman what she already knows the guy does or will provide her.
Which means, it can be revolutionary for a woman to decide after 10 years of a loveless marriage, that she wants more from the partnership.
Men have to do an extraordinary amount to keep even a little attention while the woman in the relationship easily keeps the mans attention, statistically speaking that is.
Love is not just an easy fuzzy feeling that sticks around just because. It takes work and people grow and mature. The core reasons people fell in love however are always embedded in the people's personality and ALWAYS can be used to respark passion. Love is decision to care about someone because of who they are at the core, not who they are just at that moment. Hard times will ALWAYS come in marriage, otherwise, it definitely isn't a marriage and is fantasy instead. To bail out when tough times comes shows lack of love. Sometimes people refuse to stop hurting their partner or their partner just gave up and refuses to care anymore at which point you can't force the other one to care, but you still can try to respark the connection. If one party starts not caring and the other person only cares if the first one does, that logically isn't reasonable or sustainable at all. The only way it works is if both people care even if the other person is not at the moment. Sorta like if one person gets sick and the other is well the one that is well helps the one that is sick until they are better and vice versa. It is a partnership. Not a roommate agreement.
This is a big thing to me because couples that make it till they are old and gray are the ones that gave a crap to stick it out when the other one was slacking until they were not slacking and vice versa. Studies actually show that this is true as well and that people that just bail out when things get hard, NEVER end up happy because it just can't logically work long term that way. You grow and get better at getting through tough times such as arguments and such. Otherwise you are always starting from square one instead of forging through the hard bits to actually get to the next relationship level.
Yes, also a bit of a ramble tangent, but it is an important thing that people understand and I feel that supporters need to really understand this to keep heart and do well for their sufferer that is having a hard time being as strong as the supporter can be during those tough times. There are times you have to give up and should like getting beat or what not but unstructured bail out isolation is not one of those times when it is a known situation and trend that happens but with a good chance of them also coming back as has been seen with many threads. Sometimes the people don't come back, but many times it seems they do.
I should eat this pizza now though. Not trying to be argumentative, just realistic and conversational in a positive intent kind of way.
