Ptsd Symptoms Coming Back?

[katiekat]

I entered therapy for the first time about a year ago, went until this April (about 1 year). I learned that I had PTSD from childhood trauma, and the therapist was not a trauma therapist and recommended that I see a specialist. I did some treatment with first therapist, but nothing was resolved yet my symptoms were fairly nonexistent this summer.

I finally started going to a new therapist and she is amazing and I trusted her right away-which was a relief. I thought my PTSD diagnosis was maybe a bit incorrect, but after my second session with this trauma therapist (she has only gathered my history so far-and has no clue yet about what I really experienced) struck a nerve with me about a fairly mild question. I had a really strong reaction of panic and fear and I was worried she saw my reaction because the question really took me right back to the event-really strong visuals and emotions. Since that happened, I have been very anxious, tired, spaced out, noticing a lot of random pains and tension in my body and I just realized that maybe this is PTSD creeping up on me again-that I truly do have PTSD. I guess what I am still struggling with is getting over the denial that what I experienced was not normal and was in fact traumatic-and that my reaction to her question was normal in respect to how the event went down.

I now have quite a bit of anxiety about going to my next session and that I have to bring up my trauma to the therapist.

Has anything like this happened to any of you?

 

[Intrepid]

After many years and many therapists I finally gave up the idea that what happened to me was normal. I had to admit it was traumatic.

Since then I went through a cycle of admission and denial over and over. I'd be miserable, without knowing why. I'd work hard and get to some spot in my therapy where I'd make some great discovery and I would feel better. I'd feel so much better that I believe all my troubles are over, that I finally found the real problem and its going to be okay. I'd figure I was done with therapy. Usually that's been me lapsing into denial. Soon I'd be miserable again. (but often times a little less miserable than before.)

 

[Justmehere]

It is very common for symptoms to increase before symptoms get better when doing effective trauma therapy.

Your reaction sounds really really normal. (I know, this doesn't make it much easier to endure.)

It's happened a few times for me. It's hard, but it's worth it and it gets much better in the long run.

Denial is a coping skill of sorts - it keeps pain at bay. Letting go of denial is really painful. I sometimes want to go back to where I was in denial, but in reality, it was a pretty tough way to live, blind to my own pain and the horrible reality of what I was enduring and went through.

It has been worth it all the same.

One thing to remember - you have a choice when and how you talk about the trauma. You don't take to unpack it all at once, or you can do it that way too - but either way, you get to choose the lacing and depth of what you share and when. It's also good to have some good grounding skills on hand to endure the rough spots like what you are experiencing. (It helps people who don't have ptsd too, and it can make pad symptoms easier to endure until they do get better.)

 

[Friday]

I was one of those exceptionally annoying people for many years who knew jack shit about PTSD, and said I had it a long time ago and dealt with it. I never went into the 5 years of chaos, pain, & really screwed up coping mechanisms. I never went into "how" I got over it / didn't really know, myself. I had no idea how much of my current life was being shaped by PTSD. Even at my best, I was probably running at 92%. Which was like an orgasm of sanity, so I didn't flipping care about the other 8%. Point being? I thought I was cured ;) Had it. Back when. Don't anymore.

Ugh. So paying for those statements now. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Cause, yep! It's all come crashing out. Stupid narding frustrating sucky cyclic awful thing. & breathe. Take this opportunity to get help & a handle on things early. Truly. Do.