Ptsd + Vacation(s)

[Megan]

Anyway in 17 days I'm going to Disney World. 20% of me is excited while the other 80% is screaming in terror. Why?

Every morning, I wake up "numb." I don't really enjoy anything any more. I tried doing a puzzle but got a freaking headache 5 minutes in. it's more of an anger feeling and headaches.

I just don't know what I am going to be like in Disney.I am rarely hungry any more. The only good part of the numbness is that the monthly cramps are not there. heck, it hardly feels like i have a period any more. It makes me sad to think i used to LOVE disney world and now i'm screaming in terror mostly because i don't know how i will react in/on rides. I am not doing any 3D attractions except the new star tours 1x. Not sure about aerosmith either because in the past that gave me a headache w/o the PTSD symptoms.

I just think i will have a horrible time.Any tips (other then try to enjoy myself)?

 

[jersey]

Try the "It's a Small World" ride. Never fails to cheer you up :) Also, I hear they have "Captain EO" back!

Seriously-- have read your previous messges. Make a special effort to visit the rides that made you and/or your mom happy back in the day. It is amazing how re-experiencing a happy time can change your brain.

 

[lost4awhile]

I get anxious before trips too. I hate having the stress of packing, unpacking, packing and once again unpacking! It seems so ridiculous to me!:D But, the time there is supposed to be worth all the chaos. What scares me most is being surrounded by unfamiliarity, being far from home and having to actually sleep through the nights away! If you think you will have a horrible time than you will, because you already are thinking about it that way. I know it's hard because you are scared of what is there, but maybe just tell yourself you can be in your own little world in your head while you are there and then maybe you won't dread it so much. What's the worst that could happen...everything you think will? And if it does, it won't kill you. And who knows, maybe nothing will happen and you may have a little fun? I hope this helps, it's what I have to tell myself.

 

[Megan]

i have been there many times before and it was so good..... but now i just have a sense of "being" no emotions.. or thoughts. and when i try to think it goes blank. anyway, my tensions are going down... its just a sense of just being most of the time..

 

[Sethe]

I'm sorry you're going through this Megan. I get horribly anxious and worked up before, during and after trips.

Do you have something you can hold to comfort you? Stuffed animal? Pet?

Is there a place you can visualize that will calm you when you are anxious? A word that you can repeat?

 

[Megan]

not really. i don't have a sense of imagination any more. my mind is always blank. and i'm always on edge 24/7. :(
i used to have a great sense of imagination. now i just worry 24/7 and on edge. I just feel like an object rather than a person. :(. It sucks. I might go for an MRI of my brain sometime this week or next. :( I just want to die. :( I really do. Whenever I eat I'm never full. I eat seconds or thirds cuz when i'm eating it makes me calmer just for a few minutes or seconds. but i know it's not good. :(. I just want to be myself again.
i have a bad memory as well. i'll do something and then 30 minutes later i'll be what the hell did i do today. :(. It's sooooo freaking bad, i'm on edge 24/7 which stresses me out. i doubt i will have a normal life and i worry about my parents dieing because i don't know what to do w/ my self half the time let alone everything else. :(.