Sufferer Ptsd With Major Depression

[mysage]

My phone interview went pretty well. I have had a really hard time selling myself, but this time I think my skills sold me. At least that is what I was told in the interview that my computer skills got me the interview. I will find out next week if they want me to come back for a second interview. Right now my stress level is pretty high because I have gotten so many rejections over the past two years since my PTSD has been full blown. The rejections just make it worse. I need to work to get my mind on other stuff, but I also don't ever want to be put in a situation that I was in at my previous job.

 

[Sailorgal]

No doubt rejections for PTSD is like sugar for diabetics. Hoping you get that 2nd interview!

I got rejected and had to really ground myself yesterday. But remember, when you give it your all, then you know it's not YOU but just something else they were looking for. Stay hopeful!!!!

 

[MomOfTwo]

I am new to this site and actually found it by accident.

A little about myself; I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. For the most part once I got away from my abusers I was able to live a somewhat normal life, so I thought.


I have tried and have been extremely unsuccessful at gaining employment. I feel like I am the freak because I couldn't just keep it together or know how to effectively defend myself without coming across as a crazy person.

MySage,

I went through the same thing at work. I was being sexually harassed by the Human Resources Manager. I told my boss and he told me I would be fired if I went forward. He did it to several other women and got away with it because he was who he was. His bosses were his personal friends. My boss called him untouchable and so did everyone else.

It was not until I went forward to someone outside of our particular division that I was able to talk to someone about what happened. They did protect him in the sense I was told to go back to work and avoid him while they investigated my claim. I told them I needed to see my doctor first before I went back because I was not sleeping and did not think I could face him. I was on maternity leave and during that time ran into him while shopping. I caused me to have horrible dreams and I was so afraid to return to the abuse I had to deal with and did not think I could be a good mom and go to work. I disconnected from my world while working there. I was amazing at my job but ended up having heart problems while at work which they now say was related to PTSD but I never connected the two. It was not until I was out of the situation did I realize how bad it was. It was a boy's club and he was protected. In the end the Human Resources manager quit and they told me I could return to work. I have not and retained a lawyer. I cannot return there. There are too many bad memories and triggers to deal with returning to that place. The company is saying it is my word against his. He spent time in jail for sexual assault shortly after he was fired and it was being investigated all the while he was at work and the company knew he had sexually harassed or abused women at work but allowed him to continue to work. They were worried about the legal issues if the Human Resources manager decided to sue for unjust cause. If they investigated all the internal allegations thoroughly he should have been fired long before he quit. In my letter they say he quit and in my lawyers they said they fired him. I am sure he probably got a huge package as well.

There is not much advice I can give you other than you are not alone and I think this happens in the workplace more than people think.

I question all the time if I made the right decision. I have lost my job and my sense of self but I think it was quite distorted while working through that hell too. I think you did the right thing in resigning and it is shameful that the company did not believe you. It is however a hard thing to prove. How long ago did this happen? You could contact Human Rights if it was not that long ago and put in a complaint.

It is good you stumbled across this support group. There are so many people here that understand and care about what you are going through. You are not crazy or a freak. It is just crazy what you went through.

 

[Sailorgal]

MOT,

It is very disgusting what you have gone through. Sadly, HR is not always the safest means but more of nailing your coffin.

Are you going through the legal process right now? I hope a favorable outcome and justice for you.

 

[MomOfTwo]

Sailorgal, Thanks for your support.

It was disgusting. I am a petite person and that was his victimology. My girlfriend told me he did not touch her because she was 'too big'. She said he liked woman that looked like little girls and she was right because most of the women he harassed were petite. My lawyer wanted me to find out if my doctor or therapist felt I could go through the court system or face my abuser but both of them at this time feel I am not ready. I would like it to be over and done with. I was harassed over a period of about 5 years and the last year before I went on my pregnancy leave was the worst. I thought I would be safe when I was pregnant but he still stalked and harassed me. I don't think in the end I will have any justice monetarily because my lawyer will probably get it all and I just worry about losing my home over the whole ordeal. I lately have been thinking I wish I never went forward because he would have been gone anyway because he went to jail and I had a good job.

 

[Sailorgal]

Was his jail time due to your allegations or previous ones?

It's a tough call because legal stuff is always draining and much more victimizing to the sufferer than the perpetrator.

 

[MomOfTwo]

Was his jail time due to your allegations or previous ones?

It's a tough call because legal stuff is always draining and much more victimizing to the sufferer than the perpetrator.

He molested/assaulted kids and they went after him years later when they were adults and the judge gave him jail time.

 

[mysage]

MOT,

It is very disgusting what you have gone through. Sadly, HR is not always the safest means but more of nailing your coffin.

I liked how you stated that HR nailed your coffin. That is exactly what my HR rep did. I have been getting countless interviews at the place where I formerly worked, but then something happens. All of the HR people retired after a huge scandal took place there. My HR didn't do anything to help me. There were witnesses to other sexual inappropriateness and they were not called in to give there statements. By the time they were it was too late to fire him. He still has a job and I have yet to find one that I feel safe at.

I did have a phone interview but that fell through. I am getting used to the rejections there. I know that I had missed a lot of time when I was working there, but honestly they did nothing to protect me from the perp.

I am going to try another avenue to gain employment. Why not use my PTSD to help me obtain work..... What if any do others know if that is good or bad that people know?

Thank you everyone for your support.

mysage

 

[dms]

Good luck Mysage

 

[Sailorgal]

It's funny how the ones who damage NEVER have a difficult time getting promoted or finding another job. They are ALWAYS protected. It's a die hard fact. I have witnessed it.

Some people say they get payback. Ummm, a divorce is not a payback. Payback is when what was taken is given back. It's a tough thing to accept. Sad but true.

I really hope something opens up to you. I got fired for going to HR once...my sales were sabotaged. They set me up. The whole organization was a fabrication.

You may need a fresh start, another industry or field. Or a competitor.

Back to the drawing board for me too....

 

[MomOfTwo]

I did have a phone interview but that fell through. I am getting used to the rejections there. I know that I had missed a lot of time when I was working there, but honestly they did nothing to protect me from the perp.

I am going to try another avenue to gain employment. Why not use my PTSD to help me obtain work..... What if any do others know if that is good or bad that people know?

Thank you everyone for your support.

mysage

Sorry to hear about the interview Mysage. I do think that once you get to that level of management they do protect each other because if they did not then they would have to assume some level of guilt. They were guilty for not doing anything but seeing it blatently. It is too bad that someone did not contact Human Rights and put in a complaint against the company. The would investigate. Human rights can get you a wrongful dismissal case if you left because of harassment in the workplace. Check out your local Human Rights organization to find out the rules. Sometimes there is a statute of limitations but that can be challenged if you have a mental health issue like PTSD. I wish you the very best and understand your frustration and not feeling safe.

Sailorgirl.... I am so sorry as well for what you went through. It is disgusting how management gets away with stuff like this. They are supposed to protect people and they are fundamentally the route problem in many organizations.

 

[LaurieJ]

MySage,
I am sorry for all that you have been through. Your story has alot of similarities to mine. I have PTSD with Major Depressive Disorder also and have been victimized. And I'm also having trouble finding employment. I've been sick with PTSD for over 11 years so there is an 11 year gap in my work history so no one wants to hire me. But I have to let them know at the interview because of the gap and they always want to know why I left a lucrative career. The answer always shocks people into disbelief- I'm a 2 World Trade Center, 9/11 survivor. Then I don't get the job. Right now I'm taking a break from job hunting. I worked in retail for 2 and a half weeks but could not handle it and quit. I don't know what would be the right answer for you in regards to disclosing you PTSD or not. Best of luck to you.
Laurie