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Publicly confronted about service dog. a disability isn't fake just because it's invisible. (vent)

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That's awful. I have a self-trained service dog who is very composed but gets a lot of attention since she is large and all white. I have a heart condition on top of PTSD and together I'm prone to passing out and seizures. I feel fortunate that I've never had a confrontation with someone. I was only questioned once and they backed off very quickly. But I do get stopped A LOT by people and I started carrying with me those printed cards and just handing them out when someone wants to know everything about service dogs.

Edit to add: I have had a lot of people get angry they haven't been allowed to pet my dog though, including one woman at my college who followed me in the library and then into the bathroom trying to talk me into it.
 
I feel you on this one. I tend to shut down completely when accosted in such a fashion. My retired Service Dog is a 120# black furry beast, so very few people got near us, but I did have several anxious managers hounding me and my big dog (owner-trained, but a natural for the work). This big dog was trained and socialized from a very early age to accept strangers petting him, so he doesn't care and doesn't pay attention during drive-by pettings while he's vested. However, my current project (who I've already washed out of Service Dog status for this very reason) is not comfortable around crowds due to his own traumatic past, and tends to fear-nip at random. I'm working with him pretty regularly just so he can be a better him, but I can never use him as a Service Dog due to his inconsistent response to strangers, especially kids. I'll have to get a puppy and start from scratch like my big dog (who is 11 this year!).

People like fakers and even the woman you had to deal with make my life SO much more difficult, and make me wonder if I should have a Service Dog at all, since I shut down so hard during confrontations. I guess my next dog will have to be trained to unfreeze me during such events...

Hope you guys are doing ok, I know how much those events suck.
 
I absolutely agree with you, Eagle 3, a specific special needs dog would be SO helpful to me but I ask the same questions -is not worth the drama. For now Im lucky enough to have dogs Ive just badic trained that just are so smart and loving-- like you guys all understand they know when i have bad days, support me and lay with me in support or in bed, and to push me when they know i can do it.
 
@hodge - thank you for your kind encouragement. I so wish more people would use sand! Business use a lot of salt around here because they don't want to get sued. Sigh.
You are good, @Justmehere, always. Just remember that when you run into assholes.
Thank you. :hug:s back to you!
It did wiggle into my brain a little that maybe I really don't need my dog, and I'm just fine without her. There are times I am ok with out her, and this friend has seen me at those times. He also gives me a ride now and then because I can't drive myself so he knows the disability is real. But only a very few people know the dog is for PTSD as much as the physical condition.

@Renestel - I do remember you! I love love love that service dog agency you mentioned. One of the best in the nation.
I also do have to say because I am such a huge advocate and supporter I do get extremely pissed when I go on a flight, ( I HATE flying now, it is a HUGE trigger) and I walk into the security line to see all these people with makeshift jackets on these dogs that are not well behaved, clearly not trained for actual service, I understand while I have learned certain breeds are better for Anxiety that anything is possible, but your dog shouldn't be a five pound shaking, anxious mess that's peeing on the carpet while trying to get through security.
When I was first training my dog for public access, she had a big "in training" label on her jacket. There were a few mistakes made along the way. They were generally not noticeable to anyone else.
But I have compassion for a service dog making a mistake... A good service dog owner will give good signals to the dog on what it should be doing, even if the trainer is a little rattled. The fake service dog owners with the pup that's peeing on the rug usually get very flustered and start yanking the dog around, and treat everyone around them rudely. It's so painful to watch... Many service dogs are so housebroken they are usually trained to pee on command, and disabled owners take the time to figure out how to fly without it peeing in security...

Have you ever seen "Castaway", with Tom Hanks?
I really wonder why he ever left the island. :arghh;
Ha!
I personally use a salve that is used for sled dog's feet
I use something very similar! Great minds think alike ;) :D
I wasn't going to read this because I knew it would make me angry but I did and I am angry. People are so horrible and f*cking stupid it hurts.
Humans can be awful sometimes.

I'm not very angry, I sort of just hope her um, angry passion, was because she cares about people with disabilities and simply made wrong assumptions and decided to be an overly passionate person about it....? Sigh. I am sort of assuming it was that because it would just piss me off if she was one of the few folks that just hates people with service dogs.
Every time though, whether it's a guy yelling and causing a scene calling me a dumb bitch in a grocery store because I wouldn't let him pet my service dog
OMG. That's awful! And I can relate... Snarky rude comments don't happen often where I live, but every now and then someone will throw. a. fit. when I tell them they can't pet my dog.
or just someone asking too many questions when I'm stuck in an elevator with them
I find this to be so much harder. People ask me lots of questions. I don't get it. Long before I trained dog, I never went up to a disabled person and tried to pry into all the details about their dog and disability. I just talked to them like everyone else about other things.

I did have a friend confess to me that he liked talking about my dog because he find social situations stressful and the dog is an easy thing to talk about. It's also the case that at least 2-4 times a week someone will show me pictures of their dog, and occasionally break down in tears about a recent loved dog of theirs that passed away. My friends find it astonishing that complete strangers will come up to me and just open up about dogs and their heart out of the blue because of the service dog at my feet. I used to struggle with it, but now I use it as an opportunity to have positive interactions with strangers.

But when they start prying about the disability, I get vague. So super vague, or I just tell them I don't talk about it. Most of the time it works. But dang, people get snarky about it.

And the people who argue to pet the dog? Ugh. In my city, there are lots of dog owners, and I run into the huge problem of people walking their dog wanting to let their dog play with mine, like just letting their dog jump on mine... I have learned to say "please pull away your dog" at a distance now, and recently gave a letter to neighbors to educate them, that I'm sorry, but my dog can't play with yours uninvited... It's stopped happening so much. Some people say "but my dog is friendly." I used to explain that my dog is working, not available for play, but no one got it.

So I seriously now just say "mine could attack." It's the only damn thing that works in a hurry to get them to keep their dog from lunging at mine as I walk down the street. It's true, she could attack (although I'm not actually worried she would), but the point is that they don't know... stop just assuming your dog can and should play with mine! geez.
I ALWAYS look at my wonderful dog and wish I could be half as stable as he is.
yes...
Thanks @Mim28 for the encouragement.
That's one of the questions I was going to ask all- How many times A, you get asked to let them pet the dog, or B, they just ignorantly and rudely pet it anyway despite all the DO NOT PET writing.
If they could pet the dog? probably at least twice a day. I have learned that saying "now is not a good time" is the best answer for my area. If I say just "No" - that is something people get very nasty about... but "now is not a good time" usually works better. It's odd. They never ask when a good time would be, which is good, because I would then have to say "not in the foreseeable future."
Those that pet anyhow? They usually don't even bother asking. My dog is a super cute dog, and I'm not just biased. A dog food company wanted to use her image (but for free! so I said no). She looks very pet-able. Just today at the gym, a little 3 year old came up and pet her with squeals. I don't mind that at all, and the mother apologized. I wanted to hug her for being so polite about it. I told her it was no problem. I mean, the kid is 3.... So I don't mind kids petting her without asking. I just get down and explain it's best to ask first if the parent doesn't explain it themselves.

But the 30 year olds? holy cow. They are SO much harder. The number of adults who pet my dog without asking is at least 10 every week. My dog ignores most of it, but it's a struggle.

Sometimes I say yes to people who ask to pet, but it's to a select few. I had a woman recently who pet my dog without asking, even reaching under the service dog vest to scratch her back... I didn't say anything at first, because my dog alerted to anxiety, and I was ok, so I figured the woman was anxious... and then woman then said,"oh, this is a service dog, I shouldn't have pet." I told her it was better to ask first, and then gave my dog the signal that she could greet the woman.
READ THE WRITING PEOPLE! These dogs have jobs. If anyone has found a smart way to talk to people about that to get through to them, PLEASE let me know.
No one reads the writing. Especially not the people that need to read it. lol. ugh.
But I do get stopped A LOT by people and I started carrying with me those printed cards and just handing them out when someone wants to know everything about service dogs.
That's a good idea!
I feel you on this one. I tend to shut down completely when accosted in such a fashion. My retired Service Dog is a 120# black furry beast,
Your dog sounds wonderful, and you sound like a great trainer. They are lucky to have you. :)
People like fakers and even the woman you had to deal with make my life SO much more difficult, and make me wonder if I should have a Service Dog at all, since I shut down so hard during confrontations. I guess my next dog will have to be trained to unfreeze me during such events...
Yeah, having a service dog is a lifetstyle adjustment in many many ways... For me, it's worth it. The payoffs are higher than the costs and headaches.
For now Im lucky enough to have dogs Ive just badic trained that just are so smart and loving-- like you guys all understand they know when i have bad days, support me and lay with me in support or in bed, and to push me when they know i can do it.
Dogs are good supporters. :)
 
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I find this to be so much harder. People ask me lots of questions. I don't get it. Long before I trained dog, I never went up to a disabled person and tried to pry into all the details about their dog and disability. I just talked to them like everyone else.

It absolutely is. I'm very comfortable telling people they can't pet him. All the questions are harder. Especially since the longer you talk the higher the risk of the person being rude, confrontational, or trying to invade your or the dog's space. I'm having some success with a variation on how I shut down intrusive questions. If someone asks overtly "what's wrong with you" or similar I respond with "I prefer not to disclose my medical history to strangers."

People hear service dog as dog, pet, even though we handlers know they are worlds apart. I use "medical equipment" a lot when I talk about him to remind even the people close to us that he's not a pet and he's working. So I've been trying using that with members of the public too: "I'm not comfortable discussing my medical equipment" can be used for basically every age, breed, name, other stupid question that people ask just to stall near the dog and maybe edge close enough to pet. And then if they say "I meant your dog" you can follow up with "No, you mean my medical equipment." And it seems to make something click. Plus it means I don't have to answer the "What's his name" question anymore and set him up to be distracted or increase the chance the person will try to pet him, now that he's not just a cute puppy but a cute puppy whose name they know.
 
It's also the case that at least 2-4 times a week someone will show me pictures of their dog, and occasionally break down in tears about a recent loved dog of theirs that passed away.
This happens to me a lot. Usually, it's when I'm desperate to get in and out of the grocery store in a hurry. The person wants to share their love of the same breed and a beloved pet long gone and stories about them. I hate to be rude because they obviously need to talk but I want to run away with my milk.


And the people who argue to pet the dog?

This has THANKFULLY not happened terribly recently. The last time I actually got cornered by a guy who grabbed my dog's muzzle while his daughter danced around trying to pet him. Charlie was really cool about it all but I was desperate to get away from these loons and kept saying PLEASE STOP. I actually had cards made up after that explaining what kind of dog, what he does (in vague terms) and what the law says and a website where they can learn more. I've yet to give one out but it's good to know I have them.

I created my own problems with one of my signs: it read 'no touch, no talk, no eye contact' I've had some people really be snarky about that. I've had to explain that it'a the long lingering stares that we are trying to get people to stop doing.
For a long time, I was uncomfortable telling people no and I think I set us back with training a bit. Now, I rarely say yes to petting. Generally, it's people like the barista at the Starbucks truck who has seen us riding(I trained Charlie to run along side a bike so I could bike commute to work still) around town and had very respectfully asked questions. Turns out her mom uses a service dog. So she gets it.

As far as the verbal attack... I'm not sure I would have handled it as well as you did. I do one of two different things depending on how I am doing: I freeze or I fight. Right now, if something like that happened, I'm pretty sure it would have gotten ugly very quickly with me going on the hyper defensive and accusing her of being a descendant of Hitler. Generally, if I am either end of that spectrum I try to stay home.
 
Stupid question: have you thought of getting him booties for the salt? We don't get much snow around here but in the summer the asphalt can be terribly uncomfortable so we even have matching 'running shoes' :rolleyes: yes, it's goofy but it gets the job done.

ETA.. I should really not read when I'm so tired. you did have shoes on your pup.
 
Sorry the person was so rude to you, and butted into your business.:(
Makes me angry that you were treated like that.:mad:

I absolutely hate when I am going along and feeling safe, when all of a sudden, someone bursts my safety bubble, and (to top it off), scolds me for something they have no right to scold me for. Because the harshness was so unexpected when I had my guard down, it penetrates and triggers other times I have been violated.

Love, hugs, coziness, and calmness, to you and your dearest companion.:hug:
 
Coming from the one person that encouraged me to start training my dog to be a service dog (whom appreciates that advice) I am so sorry this happened!

I see it on youtube a lot. A few teams I follow (Caroline and Chloe being my fav but also Service Dog Colt) and Colt's handler has MANY of these videos. Her dog is a sezuire alert dog and she even went into detail about how she has a TBI from an accident and had bleeding in her brain and she had to learn to walk/talk again and part time in a wheel chair. Like why the f*ck would someone have to go that detailed? It's advise they are a service dog and they are way more well trained then a pet, no other questions.

I get questions too. Chopper has "Service Dog In Training" patch on his vest and many ask if I train service dogs and then I have to say "no, I am owner training him for me" and then they ask "what is wrong with you" (why do people do this?) and I say PTSD and then get that look of pity that I cannot stand.

I commented on a news stations youtube. They were advising about fake service dogs which is awesome. But the only thing they showed was mobilty assistance dogs.

I educate as much as possible. One "famous" "dog trainer" called "Pawfessor Gage" (whom just bitches) said there was nothing wrong with fake service dogs. Oh I went to town about how businesses and people keep us from access and cause my symtoms to spike all because someone without a disabilty wanted their pet with them.

Anyway, I'm sorry this happened and I feel your pain as I also have had to deal with some of it. Not much as most as we are just getting to public access so i am sure we will run into that more.

Yes, disabilties aren't just seen. Please respect service dogs and for god sake leave them alone. People wanting to pet Chopper is a HUGE issue though a patch right at his shoulder says not to. People are f*ckheads! :hug:
 
I walked to the grocery store in bad weather today. I can't drive because of a medical condition, an...
Im sorry I could not read this without anxiety. This is so horrible. I don't understand! Dogs are helpful! They are apart of us! There are people in this world who get disability checks and don't even need them. This world is sick! I hate ppl like this! I apologize disability got to be physical now a days. This is awful! File a complaint against this idiot!
 
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This. Right here. Is what makes me so mad about the fake ones. It makes the real ones look bad.

It's not a coincidence that we get at least three or four "service dogs" PER WEEK at the zoo all summer long but come fall....*** crickets.

Summer vacation anybody?
We know it's fake. There's not squat we can do about it.

And it makes legitimate people look just as suspicious to the outside world. I'll be glad when the fakes start getting charged for it so the real people don't have to deal with this junk.
 
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