Purity, abusers and religious faith

[whiteraven]

Some of the purest moments of my life were in blood & gutter & mud & the worst of it.

Most, for me.

I returned from my pilgrimage to find that I had zero real-life friends left. I´m just having a bit of trouble having faith in the world right now.

Oh...this is a human problem! I have no real friends and have not had faith in the world in a number of years. You identify some of your issues as pure vs impure, maybe because you are looking at it from a Christian perspective; I can identify with a lot of what you say here and I am decidedly NOT Christian. I don't see it as a "purity" issue, although I could totally see it being interpreted in that way.

Though it may be a good time to look at who you are, want to be, want to live like, want to become. Instead of what isn't, what is, can be and is just waiting to be.

We are all pretty much in control of how we handle all this, right? I'm unemployed and have no one that checks on me (and very few people I can actually call up and chat with), but it has been an amazing time for me. A time to recharge, to detox (from my last job), to think about what I really want to do and really want to be.

I don't see 'purity' in ways perhaps some would, but most of all not my business what others think choose or do, just of myself.

And it seems "purity" can and is interpreted in different ways by different people.

 

[hithere]

I think I understand your feelings. One thing I remind myself is the words of Jesus, "It is not what goes into a man that makes him unclean, it is what comes out of him." He also said, "guard your heart because out of his flows the well springs of life." So my point is though it feels like the impurities can get into you, or contaminate you, they really can't unless you make an effort for them to do so. They might get in (like through abuse) but they can't contaminate you. If your heart turns bitter what comes out of it can contaminate you. Hope that made sense.

 

[Friday]

1. what @Ronin & @somerandomguy said

I feel like it would "contaminate" me and I´d be unable to retain that sense of innocence.
Maybe that sounds nuts but I would appreciate your thoughts.

2. Sounds like you’re feeling fragile, right now?

Can you think about what would build you up, work in the inner strength / sense of self to be able to go anywhere & be exactly who you are / want to be?

 

[Changing4Best]

I am Christian. One of the things I do is have no TV in my house. I rarely connect with the news and I don't listen to any radio but a Christian station. When I go out I only do what I need to, then I retreat back to my home.

I do go out for walks, but my focus then is mainly on nature or looking at architecture or cars.

I do greet people briefly.

Most of the time, I feel pretty pure and innocent. Life is good.

 

[Rainman8772]

Life is all what you make it. Am I going to Hell for killing people? I don’t know. Who was right in a time of war? I don’t know. Can one hope and pray they do the right thing? Of course they can.

We as people are not meant to know everything and anyone that thinks they do is lying. You can however decide on your path, that’s where free will comes in. Right or wrong the choice is always your own to make. All anyone can hope for is that when their time comes to meet their creator is they led an honorable life.

 

[Justmehere]

I am Christian, or well, I follow Jesus... badly... reaaaally badly... but yeah, it's a part of my life. Being Christian can mean a wide variety of things to many people. I guess my first thought is to wonder what it means to you? To some, the faith is about fighting a battle against what is bad, sinful, undesirable and ridding one's self of it. Others, it's grasping to a wildly gracious God that loves in the middle of mess, muck, and mire.

When I was small I always felt "contaminated" by the sins of my mother and dad, who were living an awful life. Contaminated due to their abuse, since I could not defend myself from them.

This is common for people to feel dirty or disgusting after abuse. It's a taking on of the abusers shame as one's own. This strikes me at the core as a boundary issue. You are taking on what is not yours to take on. Their actions and the ick of them belongs entirely to them. Not you.

However I hate going outside, even leaving my house, due to the clutter (and impurity) that I perceive outside of my house.

I feel like it would "contaminate" me and I´d be unable to retain that sense of innocence.
Maybe that sounds nuts but I would appreciate your thoughts.

How does this tie into your sorting out of faith and following your view of Christianity? Did you experience this in the rural areas the same as you did in the city?

It´s the behavior of people and their choices that I have a problem with.

There are tons of things like this and it´s not like I am a saint or haven´t ever made choices that were stupid/ridiculous. But I don´t want to have the same mentality that a lot of people around me seem to have, that wasting your money and your life is a cool thing to do, and that there is sacredness in nothing, not even in yourself.

In fact I hate this attitude. I wish I could be far away from it. Far, far away.
It makes me feel messed up to live among people who do that.

Not liking what others do is one thing. Feeling what others do changes the inside of you is another thing entirely.

I returned from my pilgrimage to find that I had zero real-life friends left. I´m just having a bit of trouble having faith in the world right now. Thanks for offering alternative perspectives.

The world is a bit of a mess right now.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Hi guys,

Took me a while. Thanks for the replies.

I´ve been figuring myself out and I now understand the purity thing. It would take too long for me to exactly explain the reasoning, because it´s partly based on spirituality and partly based on an identity/boundary issue, like @Friday said.

Just because both are true does not mean they cancel each other out. So, the problem was not trying to fix myself psychologically only but also figuring out WHY is the concept of purity so important to me from a spiritual perspective, and I have figured it out. Like changing4best said:

I am Christian. One of the things I do is have no TV in my house. I rarely connect with the news and I don't listen to any radio but a Christian station. When I go out I only do what I need to, then I retreat back to my home.

Most of the time, I feel pretty pure and innocent. Life is good.

It is about what you take in. People might argue that what you take in (ie visually, smelling, hearing, ingesting,) does not change the interior but I would disagree. I think it does change the interior.

Since this post I´ve made some changes in my life. I switched to whole foods only. No more sugar and processed foods. I am allowing myself to wear my cycling mask in traffic without thinking "I´m so weird" and more self-doubt. It has become normal anyway now, more people are doing it.

I watch educational videos, read challenging books, think about things.
I nourish myself with good, useful things only and I feel 100% better because of it.

It just took me being proactive and deciding This is who I am.