Question About Triggers

[EvenStrongerNow]

So, I just realized that all of this time, I've been able to pretty much identify what my triggers are but not so much knowing the symptoms of when I'm being triggered to perhaps stop it in its tracks. Usually I don't find out that I was triggered until after the fact. It's quite embarrassing.

Sometimes, the trigger is so subtle and hard to anticipate.

Is there a thread on here somewhere or an article that explains the symptoms? I'm assuming they aren't the same for a flashback?

Thanks.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Keeping a chart of your triggers helps. Make columns for trigger/stressor, date/time, symptoms experienced, length of reaction, medication taken (yes/no), skills used to calm yourself, etc.

I think this is how you'll identify your own personal triggers. They're different for everyone.

This is how I was able to indentify my trigger symptoms. They seemed automatic but my therapist assured me there is time between trigger and reaction, and the goal is to increase this time as to be able to minimize the reaction.

I know Anthony has posted about this charting process as well, but I don't know if it's in a wiki article or not. I learned this method in the trauma hospital.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

So make a list of the ones I know and then add to the list when I figure out the ones "after the fact"?

When did you start to notice a space in time between trigger and reaction? Or how do you increase the time? Also, how do you know what symptoms you experienced if you aren't sure what is symptoms are symptoms of a trigger?

 

[Nebulustrix]

there is time between trigger and reaction, and the goal is to increase this time as to be able to minimize the reaction

This is exactly what has happened with mine, and the simplistic way you put it was like an "Aha" moment for me! :)

At first, I reacted immediately to triggers, the worst most stressful example being about a month after I'd left the abuse. My mother had reached her own stress limit and was venting. Intellectually, I knew she would never hurt me - I'd grown up with her ups-and-downs and knew she just needed to let it out and would then be fine. In the past, I would have been able to just ride it out in silence and be there for her when she calmed down enough to be reasonable.

But, because of my PTSD her anger was now unbearable. And there was the unlucky coincidence that she became angry while in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables with a knife. I saw her angry, with a knife, and I immediately flashed back to the time my ex was threatening to kill me with a knife and backed me into a corner until I panicked so bad I curled up in the fetal position, screaming and crying in terror, and wetting myself. The terror was right there, right now, and I lashed out at my mother with my own angry words, said some things that likely made no sense to her as I mentally wasn't even there anymore, and fled the confrontation, crying it out in my room.

I still remember the terror. It still stresses me, and knives are still a trigger. Confrontations are still a trigger. But, now the reaction isn't so sudden- I can handle more of the stress without breaking. I just have to be careful not to let it build up too much. I can tell when something is triggering me because I get tense, anxious, irritable. I start to feel a tight pain in my chest, grind my teeth, and if I don't recognize it enough to step back instead of letting it keep building, my hands will start getting shaky, start feeling dizzy/dehydrated, and have difficulty concentrating.

Recognizing that I'm being triggered and identifying exactly what the trigger is are two different things. I've been dealing with my "confrontation" trigger at work, and it has taken me the better part of the week to clearly identify it. After that, figuring out how to cope and deal with the trigger so that the stress and anxiety levels will lessen is even more difficult. I haven't quite broken down yet, but I've become very teary and emotional while at work and have been having difficulty thinking about much other than my PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes, I'd start by writing down known triggers and then add to it whenever you are triggered.

Well when I first started charting the trigger and reaction were almost simultaneous so the goal was to be able to identify early warning signs that I was oblivious to. Then I could wedge time in between the two. It wasn't so much a matter of noticing the time gap, but being able to increase the gap.

Now I have the opposite problem as well. I have delayed reactions. Sometimes I'm triggered but don't react for 3 days. This can be a bit more difficult because I have to backtrack and reflect on possible triggers and then piece things together. But, when I experience a trigger in this way, I can anticipate being symptomatic and when it happens, I'm better able to handle it because I knew it was coming.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

OK that makes sense. That wedge of time makes sense to me. Thank you.

There are some things that have a time gap. What do you do when you know something is a trigger? Right now, I dissociate and non-intentionally. Well for this one specifically that happened tonight.

For example, while having dinner with my hubbs tonight, he did a little head bob with a smile (hard to explain) because the food I cooked was good. My abuser did that.

I remember sitting there thinking, my abuser did that but at the time, my head was not saying "trigger". The only reason I recognized dissociation was after like 10 minutes, I felt all of a sudden present and freaked out emotionally (felt immense fear).

So now I know that is a trigger. I can add it to my list. I now realize my hubbs does this when my cooking tastes good and has throughout our relationship. What can I do next time to manage the trigger so that I stay present? Is this where I should use grounding skills right when I notice the reminder whether or not I think a reaction will happen?

The back tracking delayed reactions, relate to that. I have experienced that.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Anyone?? I have a question about triggers. I realize this thread evolved. My question is, when I know something is a trigger, am I supposed to use my grounding skills right when exposure happens? I'm trying to stop the reaction. Is that possible?

 

[Nebulustrix]

I don't really know how to help other than to tell you what has helped me:

When I'm triggered, I have to do something that helps me destress - usually
1. Cutting off any unnecessary social interactions for the next couple days, maybe even next couple weeks while I work on getting myself straight again.
2. "Zone out" with a book, video game, movie, or physically demanding activity that does not require me to interact with other people.
3. Write. On here, in a journal... doesn't matter where.
- First write about how I'm feeling, my emotional and physical reactions to the trigger.
- Write about everything currently causing stress to help identify the triggers and stressors that may be causing my adverse reaction
- Examine the memories/feelings resurfacing to determine exactly what is bothering me.
- Write about the specific portion of the trauma identified as a problem.
- Identify the difference between the past trauma and the trigger.
4. Let my emotions run their course and continue writing as I get myself back on track. Go back to what I've written, read it, analyze it, and examine it further.

While this doesn't have any immediate resolution to the triggers, as I've done this, I have found that my reactions have become less severe and more manageable. It hasn't stopped the reactions completely, and I don't think it ever will - but there is a vast improvement between where I was and where I am now.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Thanks. You are mentioning coping skills.

What I specifically want to know is....I seem to have a gap in time between some triggers and emotional reaction.

My brain says "memory" before it says "trigger". You can see where I explain this in my example above about my husband. I had a delayed emotional reaction.

For these triggers, if I apply grounding techniques (picking out colors in the room, saying I'm safe, etc), will it reduce the emotional reaction that follows?

Or am I completely thinking about this way too hard and making it way too complicated?

 

[Nebulustrix]

I do not think you are overthinking things or making it more complicated. I just think we were “talking past each other” for a bit there – but it looks like our disconnect was that you are looking for something that provides an immediate help in reducing your reaction to triggers, where I was just thinking of what has helped in general.

The grounding techniques you are describing did not help me when I was having big reactions to my triggers with no time-gap. Even when I recognized I was having a reaction, nothing helped reduce or stop it once it started.

Now that I tend to have a good time-gap though, the grounding does seem to help at least with continuing to delay the reaction until I can put myself in a place where I’m not lashing out at anybody once the reaction does hit full force. The only thing that has been a big help, for me, in reducing my reactions has been the long term help writing has provided for me.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

That makes sense to me and thank you so much for taking the time to speak to me about this. I think it seems what I'm trying to do is have an action plan, but I'm missing something. I'm missing the thing in the moment that allows me to use the skills I've learned.

And you are saying that you are finding that those things don't stop or help when you are having ones with no time gap? Do I have that right?

Do you recommend a reading about triggers that fully encompasses our experience with them?

 

[Nebulustrix]

An action plan is a good idea! :) I haven't even thought of it like that before, but I think that is something I have subconsciously done for myself. I think my "plan" came about naturally, in that my instinctive response when triggered is to flee the situation, and that works out perfectly as I find myself isolated in my room, a bathroom, or a similarly quiet space where I can let the emotions run their course.

I have not found anything (grounding skills, techniques, coping skills, etc) that helps lessen, control, or stop a reaction once it has hit. All of my trigger responses follow a fairly set pattern, with or without the time gap:

1. Boost in adrenaline - bodily reaction / immediate fear response, tightness of chest, faster breathing, tensed muscles, etc. My instincts are preparing me to flee.
2. Voluntary isolation - whether immediately or after some time, consciously or sub-consciously, I ultimately find myself seeking isolation, keeping everything bottled up until I am somewhere alone and "safe" to let go.
3. Emotion overload - anger, fear, confusion, anxiety, etc. Panic attack, break down in tears, etc.

I've never thought to break it down like this, but now that I'm looking at it, pretty much all of my issues/symptoms are somewhere tied into this pattern. Insomnia - when I am isolated but still keeping everything bottled in and don't feel safe enough to relax. Headaches - adrenaline response over a period of time as I'm unable to isolate. Dissociating/withdrawing socially - mentally isolating when I cannot do so physically.

My personal breakdown in this process (the area I have difficulty in) is step three - the emotional overload. At first, the emotional overload was happening all the time, in sync with the immediate bodily response and my attempts to isolate myself and I was like a touchy, misfiring cannon going off in all directions. Now, I get stuck finding myself unable to relax enough or feel safe enough to let the emotional overload run its course....

Anyway, I digress. I may be wrong, but I do not think it is possible to make our reactions to our triggers stop completely, and I think that it is actually important to allow our reactions to take place and run their course. Letting ourselves feel and experience the emotions can get them out of our "system" and make them less "intense" the second time around. It is allowing the response to happen that eventually causes it to fade.

See - the response is happening for a reason. Because of the trauma we experienced, our instincts have classified certain things reminiscent of the trauma as "life-threatening". Say the trauma was a near fatal car accident involving a head-on collision with a red pickup truck. Now, our instincts kick in whenever we see the color red, because (according to our instincts) red is now life-threatening. The emotional response to something classified as life-threatening is immediate and intense, our mind and body screaming at us to take whatever action necessary to preserve our life.

To lessen that response, we have to allow those emotions to run their course in a safe setting. This re-teaches the instincts - "Hey, if red is so life-threatening, then how come I was able to sit next to this person wearing a red t-shirt and nothing happened?" The next time around, the response is a bit smaller, and a bit smaller, until our instincts no longer consider red life-threatening. Now it is only "dangerous". The emotional response for that is smaller, less intense, but can still be stressful and exhausting. Continued exposure can eventually bring it down to "not necessarily dangerous... right now, but should be observed with caution", kinda like how we might treat a hot stove.

Even there though, the response is not entirely gone, and I don't think it will ever be "gone". We will always remember our trauma and our instincts will always remind us of things that could potentially be a danger, but that is how we keep ourselves safe from repeat harms. They key is exposure to the triggers where nothing happens. This makes the trigger less threatening and our responses less intense.

For reading, I'd suggest looking up papers on exposure therapy, desensitization, flooding, and treatment for phobias. Just a quick search now - anxietycoach.com is a good source.