Question To Those Who Have Moved Away From Where Trauma Occurred

[WillyKat]

My family moved about 45 miles or so when I was about 9 or so. That was a big relief for me and some of the more severe symptoms stopped. My abuser lived across the road and we always rode the school bus together. So the threat was real and right there.

So yes moving helped me a lot.

But like my therapist says (she does not get credit for inventing the phrase): "wherever you go, there you are" meaning that you won't become a new person by moving. Your memories, ingrained patterns, and life history go with you.

ON the other hand, if there are people or situations that act as triggers in one place, it may make perfect sense to move.

Now back to my example. When I lived across the road from him, I would often walk to our fence line as far from where he lived as possible. We owned 20 acres or so at the time, and I suppose the fence was maybe 200 yards or so. To a little kid, it seemed like more I guess, and it was the only option.

Fast forward to adulthood and some of the same patterns are there. I like to go into the wilderness for a week at a time by myself. For years I didn't see the connection to the original trauma, but now I understand. Out there in the wilderness, there there's no one out there to deceive you; no one to trick you. Sure there are dangers, but they are honest dangers.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Yes moving away was a very good thing for me. It has been lonely to start over without a support network, but the place and people who surrounded me were very toxic.

I do not have the painful reminders.

I did do EMDR about the wounds inflicted on me and it changed my life.

Recently my husband of thirty six years died and I find that I am starting over all over again. I hate to live alone and the loneliness really gets to me at times, But I have a few friends and recently reconnected with a couple that I have known for over twenty years.

That has been wonderful. I think of it like baby steps.

It is a big risk to leave everything and everyone behind, but I really have grown the last three years and found out how strong I am.

I encourage you to get a piece of paper and write on it the pros and cons of moving. I have found doing this very helpful to sort things out and follow what is in my best interests.

I now live ten minutes away from my daughter and granddaughters. I see them so much. The place I live in now is not as pretty as the place I moved away from. But it is so close to everything and I do not have to commute anymore.

I wish you the best in making this decision. I highly recommend that you research EMDR because it really healed me from the painful memories of the people who have hurt me so cruelly. It changed my life.

Hugs.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Moving away was the best thing for me at the time. It took away external triggers. It did not solve all the problems. I still suffer the symptoms from PSTD. I moved back where I grew up. After doing EMDR I had some amnesia and some awful traumas happened here. I consider moving again. Just to have a fresh start. Nobody to suck the life out of me nearby.