BoyfriendqwithPTSD
Silver Member
its the first time my SO has decided to isolate since diagnosed with PTSD. It’s also behavior that I don’t recognize from him at all. I am the only person he speaks to about his trauma.
Some background:
- he’s been in pretty bad shape since starting therapy. He’s had 3 sessions where as the last one was 2 weeks ago (meant to be weekly but he had other commitments and couldn’t do last week). At his last session he had to re-live trauma and it really affected him. Since then he’s been all over the place. He’s felt very down, angry, heartbroken, upset, extremely anxious, had increase in nightmares, flashbacks etc etc.
-even before therapy he had been feeling particularly low (where as a month before therapy he had been feeling a lot better and our relationship was really blossoming).
So for about a month and a half he’s been saying how he does not feel anything for me, he is dead inside, he’s numb, he feels horrible, he’s been thinking negative, he feels no joy in life, there’s nothing in life that excites him, etc etc.
-this weekend that has gone was particularly bad. He spoke over the phone about 30 times in one day. He needed me extra much. He was in bad shape, crying, ‘I can’t take this anymore’, ‘I feel so down, I’m a broken person’ and was extremely upset. Couldn’t eat, felt sick, was sweating, nightmares, flashbacks.
THEN, Sunday 3 am he sends me texts how this situation isn’t fair to me. I should move on and be happy. I deserve much better than someone who doesn’t feel anything for her, I deserve love and he cannot give me that. He’s a effing mess and he needs to sort that out himself without dragging me down, he cannot provide what I need etc etc.
- I rang him in the morning at 11 am and he was crying. He was very upset. He said he needed space, because he needs to learn to get through it himself. I reassured him that I don’t need a relationship with him, I just want him to be well.
-I got worried and spoke to some of his friends, who later on spoke to him at night. They Said ‘he seems fine, he was talking normally and we had some jokes’
-about a month and half ago, things were wonderful between us. We had hit a turning point (I thought) and he was telling me he feels for me again. And he was happy. He felt love for me again. He was intimate with me, he was loving and things felt great.
-ever since he’s been feeling low, I’ve reassured him that we don’t need to think about a relationship. It’s ok. No pressure and he needs to focus on his health.
-he’s extremely vocal. Especially with me. I’m his safe person. I never thought he’d isolate because he’s not great at being alone. He is always quite needy of me and it felt nice.
What I’m wondering is, why am I the person he chooses to stay away from? What’s were his thoughts before he chose to take space from ME specifically. I didn’t pressure him about a relationship, so why me? What goes through someone’s head when they chose to take space? How long does it last?
I appologise in advance because I know it’s different for everyone, but even an insight would be good, or if anyone can share personal experience of similar nature.
I made this thread cause he’s never done this before and he’s chosen to take space from me and not anyone else, which hurts a lot.
Some background:
- he’s been in pretty bad shape since starting therapy. He’s had 3 sessions where as the last one was 2 weeks ago (meant to be weekly but he had other commitments and couldn’t do last week). At his last session he had to re-live trauma and it really affected him. Since then he’s been all over the place. He’s felt very down, angry, heartbroken, upset, extremely anxious, had increase in nightmares, flashbacks etc etc.
-even before therapy he had been feeling particularly low (where as a month before therapy he had been feeling a lot better and our relationship was really blossoming).
So for about a month and a half he’s been saying how he does not feel anything for me, he is dead inside, he’s numb, he feels horrible, he’s been thinking negative, he feels no joy in life, there’s nothing in life that excites him, etc etc.
-this weekend that has gone was particularly bad. He spoke over the phone about 30 times in one day. He needed me extra much. He was in bad shape, crying, ‘I can’t take this anymore’, ‘I feel so down, I’m a broken person’ and was extremely upset. Couldn’t eat, felt sick, was sweating, nightmares, flashbacks.
THEN, Sunday 3 am he sends me texts how this situation isn’t fair to me. I should move on and be happy. I deserve much better than someone who doesn’t feel anything for her, I deserve love and he cannot give me that. He’s a effing mess and he needs to sort that out himself without dragging me down, he cannot provide what I need etc etc.
- I rang him in the morning at 11 am and he was crying. He was very upset. He said he needed space, because he needs to learn to get through it himself. I reassured him that I don’t need a relationship with him, I just want him to be well.
-I got worried and spoke to some of his friends, who later on spoke to him at night. They Said ‘he seems fine, he was talking normally and we had some jokes’
-about a month and half ago, things were wonderful between us. We had hit a turning point (I thought) and he was telling me he feels for me again. And he was happy. He felt love for me again. He was intimate with me, he was loving and things felt great.
-ever since he’s been feeling low, I’ve reassured him that we don’t need to think about a relationship. It’s ok. No pressure and he needs to focus on his health.
-he’s extremely vocal. Especially with me. I’m his safe person. I never thought he’d isolate because he’s not great at being alone. He is always quite needy of me and it felt nice.
What I’m wondering is, why am I the person he chooses to stay away from? What’s were his thoughts before he chose to take space from ME specifically. I didn’t pressure him about a relationship, so why me? What goes through someone’s head when they chose to take space? How long does it last?
I appologise in advance because I know it’s different for everyone, but even an insight would be good, or if anyone can share personal experience of similar nature.
I made this thread cause he’s never done this before and he’s chosen to take space from me and not anyone else, which hurts a lot.
