Quick To Snap

[DoubleTap]

Hey all,

Just found these forums, hoping to maybe find some help or advice from fellow vets in dealing with mainly anger. I served from 2001-2006 in the US Army as an 11B (infantryman). Did a combat tour in '04 - '05 in Mosul, Iraq. I've been out for several years now, but my anger issues seem to be getting worse with time. I'm so quick to snap these days and it seems like the smallest, inconsequential things are triggers. And when I do get angry, it's fast and violent. I have yet to have a physical altercation with another person, but inanimate objects...look out. I get this feeling of complete rage and just feel the need to absolutely destroy things, and do not care about consequences until i "come out of the rage". But, then I feel so guilty that it makes me mad at myself and that will set me off again. It's a f*cking vicious cycle that I'm getting tired of.

The worst part is I am now married and have a 2.5 year old son and feel I need to really get myself in check, I don't want my son to pick up and act like I do. I'm afraid of setting him up for failure with him seeing my actions. I would like to say I'm better than I used to be, when i first got out I would travel down to the "ghetto" or really bad parts of the city, just HOPING someone would try to carjack me or something, anything...I just needed action. I haven't done that in a few years now. I'm just tired of being so damn angry.

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

Double Tap,

Slow down my Brother. You're a wounded warrior who is feeling the effects of the killing fields.

First of all, stop beating yourself up. All you describe are natural reactions following combat. It's called Post Traumatic Stress Desorder, and this site is filled with fellow Brothers and Sisters who are going through exactly the same things you are.

In spite of the PTSD label this is not a disorder. Your feelings and reactions ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL. God, I hate the fact that they label this a disorder. That said, you have to understand that these natural reactions can cause huge problems if left untreated. And, the sooner you get help the better.

Get to the VA, or better yet a Vet Center. Talk with the councelors there, and do your best to stay with the program no mater how much of a pain in the ass the process can be.

Recognize your condition for what it is, a very serious problem. And, treat it with all the consideration it requires. There will be times when the smallest tasks will be nearly impossible. That doesn't mean you can no longer do them. It means you have to give yourself time to adapt, and learn to adjust.

For now, read through the posts on this site. You've taken your first step on your way home by posting here. Keep taking those steps.

SD

 

[OldDoorGunner]

Double Tap, Welcome to the site Brother.......SD has said what you needed to hear and it's right on.....SD, myself and others on here are old Nam vets and have been dealing with PTSD (aka the BEAST) for over 40 years. It will take you some time, but you can learn to live and move forward, but it does take some time and hard work at times, don't ever give up.

J R

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey all,

Just found these forums, hoping to maybe find some help or advice from fellow vets in dealing with mainly anger. I served from 2001-2006 in the US Army as an 11B (infantryman). Did a combat tour in '04 - '05 in Mosul, Iraq. I've been out for several years now, but my anger issues seem to be getting worse with time. I'm so quick to snap these days and it seems like the smallest, inconsequential things are triggers. And when I do get angry, it's fast and violent. I have yet to have a physical altercation with another person, but inanimate objects...look out. I get this feeling of complete rage and just feel the need to absolutely destroy things, and do not care about consequences until i "come out of the rage". But, then I feel so guilty that it makes me mad at myself and that will set me off again. It's a f*cking vicious cycle that I'm getting tired of.

The worst part is I am now married and have a 2.5 year old son and feel I need to really get myself in check, I don't want my son to pick up and act like I do. I'm afraid of setting him up for failure with him seeing my actions. I would like to say I'm better than I used to be, when i first got out I would travel down to the "ghetto" or really bad parts of the city, just HOPING someone would try to carjack me or something, anything...I just needed action. I haven't done that in a few years now. I'm just tired of being so damn angry.

There are some easy answers there brother.


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When your cup is full, it could be anything that sets you off. For your wife and child's sake, you need to get yourself into therapy and get them to teach you how to handle those moments. Eventually you will recognise when the levels are getting up there and can do something about it.

You also hit the nail on the head there with regards to action. The governments around the world need to collectively work out how to 'deprogram' service personnel. It does not matter whether your in the Navy, Air Force, or whatever, basic training programs you for combat then the conflicts in the world take you there and you are programmed to be ready 24/7 and to act in an instant. Then they send you home and expect everything to be normal.

I hated the thought of seeing a therapist or shrink and hated even more taking medication, but they are the answer in the short term. They can teach you things so you can live an semi-normal life.

Don't do it the hard way mate, do yourself a favor and go get the help you earned and deserve.

 

[DoubleTap]

Thanks for the responses guys. Unfortunately I can't use VA services as those are benefits I no longer have. My exit from the military was not on the best of terms. I was taught a lesson about speaking out against injustices, and I was so sure that "Integrity" was a value that was pounded into our head from day 1. Lesson learned. I've looked at private psychologists etc and they are way out of my price range, who can afford $200 a week to talk to someone? I did see a therapist a few years ago and that was pointless, she had no idea how to deal with someone like me. Hoping to find enough resources I can "fix" myself, I've tried so many things and so many times, it seems impossible. I'm thankful I have a patient wife, I just know one day she may run out of patience and decide enough is enough. Hell, my first wife couldn't even make it through my deployment before she bailed (said she was worried I'd "be a different person"), well no shit. So, I'm going to keep searching and trying new things, something has to work eventually.

 

[SteveMD]

Check w/IAVA, VFW, etc.., about revisiting your discharge. Look at "Obamacare" for a policy with pre-existing conditions.

One step at a time.

Welcome.

 

[Spock]

Welcome brother...being there for my kids kept me from crossing into the dark side

 

[Lee C]

Welcome