Raffle Tickets > Cigarettes

[Kintsugi]

I forgot how nice it was to splurge on shit that actually improves my quality of life because I'm not fixated on having money for cigarettes. I dropped $50 on vaping supplies; that will last about 4 weeks (vs <10 days for cigarettes). :)

 

[Kintsugi]

Fourteen. I've been hacking up all manner of nastiness, so apparently my backsliding into being a smoker hasn't been entirely without consequence, even though it's only been a few months. :sorry:

I feel the need to replace the feeling of going somewhere every day for the same purpose, so I've been frequenting a coffee shop for a special caffeine treat. I try very hard not to replace nicotine with something caloric, but why does coconut and chocolate have to blend so nicely with coffee?! It's maddeningly delicious, about half the price of a pack of cigarettes, and gives me the same sense of self-indulgence buying cigarettes always does.

I've been documenting here so that if anyone else wants to get off cigarettes they may find some sort of inspiration or strategy.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Simply Simon Soooooooo. f*cking proud of you!!!!!!! I hope that you and everyone else here realizes just how difficult this is and that you are doing and awesome job at kicking this is the ass!!!! Keep going you can do this!!!!!

 

[scout86]

Is it getting any easier?

 

[Kintsugi]

Scout--not smoking is getting easier, except life is kicking my ass. I bought a pack yesterday because I had kind of a meltdown, but I split it with someone else, so I didn't actually smoke the whole thing. :banghead: School is almost over, and I've put off a lot of work and dug myself a hole. I also had some technical difficulties with my vaporizer, but I seem to have resolved that today. Had to buy some tiny screwdrivers. Plus I just developed a random health problem that seems to be stress-related.

Still fighting the good fight, though! Luckily, I knew this would happen, so I dropped $50+ on vape supplies when I got paid, plus I paid off a loan I could have put off a little long, explicitly so I wouldn't have the money to buy cigarettes.

My cigarettes cost $5.10-5.50 a pack, so they're prohibitive anyway. I can't believe I got wrapped up in smoking again, and then I've wondered why money has been tight. I've taken on an enormous monthly payment this year, but my previous budget showed I could manage it comfortably... oh wait! That's right! Stop buying cigarettes every day, girl! :sorry:

ETA: my health issues mean I can't really use food as a vice anymore, so I've been trying to indulge myself with media (TV, movies) instead, which works well but doesn't agree with my need to do more homework. :bag:

 

[Kintsugi]

Man. Okay. Sorry I've not been active. I'm in the last week of my semester, and I'm in that stage of PTSD stress fugue where time just meaninglessly slides through my fingers day by day.

I've been having some problems with my vaporizer at the most f*ck-all moments, and it's resulted in me buying two more packs of cigarettes since the last time I posted, because there's no way to troubleshoot when I'm at work or school or on the road. :banghead: Yesterday, I put on my big girl pants and dropped $100 on a completely new vape set up that will not have the same potential pitfalls as my last one. That will make it impossible for me to make another donation this month, but I've made too much progress to just start smoking regularly again.

My new vape is pretty neat! Much more powerful and efficient and much less likely to randomly fail on me. I've heard a lot of people say that they were unable to quit smoking until they moved to a similar model, and I can see why. You can kill nicotine cravings in just a few hits. I use very low nicotine vape juice, because before I started smoking again, I was able to scale down to nearly nothing, but since I started smoking again, it takes at least 10 minutes of vaping to satisfy my amped-up nicotine needs, so having a device that satisfies so quickly is going to be awesome.

Okay, that's enough of me rambling about Adventures in Not Smoking. I appreciate all of the support I've been getting here. Being at the end of the semester has been rough. When I told people I was giving up cigarettes, they were all worried I was simply stressing myself out more before school was out. Having people here who care about my progress rather than saying, "Why don't you just quit next month instead?" has been great.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Simply Simon i tried quitting 9 different times over a 20 yr span. It's wasn't easy. I quit once for 3 months, and got stressed out over something stupid and started smoking again. The only thing you can do..... is keep trying.

 

[Kintsugi]

@Simply Simon i tried quitting 9 different times over a 20 yr span. It's wasn't easy....

I actually did quit for almost a solid year. Starting again crept up on me. :eek:

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Good read - "In the realm of hungry ghosts" Dr. Gabor Mate. About addiction (s) His is buying $$$$$ classical music cd's, at a time. He run's a methadone clinic in BC. Amazing book and man. Deomocracy Now has archived interviews.

 

[Kintsugi]

My addictions are intense and far-flung, but (at the moment) cigarettes are the only one that wants to kill me.

 

[scout86]

So, I'm confused, are you still 'not smoking'? I ask partly because I care & partly because I need to know how much money I need send.

Good luck with the end of the semester!

 

[Kintsugi]

I've bought three packs of cigarettes in the past 8 days, but yes, I'm still not smoking. I use a vaporizer instead.