Ran a red light today

[nohone]

therapy is just opening up cans of worms I was barely ready for.

Today after being triggered by a friend who I vented to about my sexual assault, knew about the way in which it destroyed me, and how I became hyper sexual as a cause of it and extremely depressed because I had to let him go free on circumstantial evidence.

He knew it all,
And was there for me, then asked me to have sex with him for the third time that I declined like a broken record saying that I wanted a relationship if I were to ever have sex again.
After it my chest started hurting, as I was in shock, and threw my phone, that proceeded with crying. I was driving, and then all of a sudden I snap back into it and I’m in the middle of the street with the light being dead red.
Couple things-
Was this a flashback, or just normal reaction and if it was why did being asked for sex trigger one.

 

[EveHarrington]

Did you flash “back” to anything?

 

[nohone]

Did you flash “back” to anything?

i blacked out, first my mind was remembering feeling powerless in the assault then I was in the street

 

[EveHarrington]

It sounds like it could have been an emotional flashback since you were feeling the emotions associated with your trauma.

 

[nohone]

It sounds like it could have been an emotional flashback since you were feeling the emotions asso...

Why did I blackout then?

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m not quite sure as I’ve never had a blackout before. It’s possible the pressure for sex made you feel unsafe and your mind just shut down.

 

[420kitty]

When in shock it is common for your mind to shut down to protect your sense of self. I'm sorry this happened, but maybe when you are feeling this way it is best not to drive. I black out at times in scenarios of extreme stress. Sounds like this guy is not a friend but a predator trying to only have sex with you. Keep your boundaries and if you need to ignore him to protect yourself, then do so. Don't do something that will make you feel terrible. Good luck. Xoxo