Sorry that I did not read the last posts (will do so soon) and I just use this for a quick rant. So we went to a Café/coffee bar/coffee house/cafe shop (I never know the difference between the words, how is this called where they serve you coffee and cake?) and the waitress talked veeeeeery slooooooowly.... veeeeryyyy loud. There seemed to be a lot of elderly customers. I think this is the reason why she talked like this to us young folks too.... and it did something to my vets self-esteem again. (I think I told you that he has sometimes trouble understanding what people say if there is a lot of background noise, like in a cofffe house for example... one of the things he doesn’t like about it... but coffee houses also trigger his ptsd... also while the town wasn’t very crowded the coffee house was somewhat crowded, or mega crowded but somewhat).
He did not feel like going there this day and we only went there because we were in a town... (which again he doesnt like very much) and the weather turned lousy and we didn’t want the kids to be outside in the rain when we forgot some of their rainwear.
So much later after we were in the car Vet fussed with me about forgetting their rain wear like “What is the problem with you? Always forgetting about things“ and after he had ranted and ranted and ranted and I told him “Why is it only my job to think of those things?“ he told me that he felt degraded by the way they treated him (and that he was sorry for his rant).
But while at the coffee house he was extremely polite, nice as a pie, joked with the waitress. Nobody would have thought that he felt treated in a degrading way (which he by the way wasn’t... I really think she didn’t even realize he was short of hearing but was just used talking to old people. The place was furnished oldfashioned and full of senior citizens. I do not think they have many young customers).
Anyway: why doesn’t he speak up when he feels treated the wrong way but always becomes nice as a pie (and later he is unfriendly with me)?
BTW when we are in a coffee house and a lot of people talk he often doesn’t understand what people are saying but I am not allowed to tell the waitress (he is still mad at me about the time I did years ago). So he should count himself lucky that she talked loud and slowly.
Sometimes he is being really complicated, isn’t he?