Well I have been reading alot of these forums and they all hit home. I have been breif in my intro and would like to take the time now.
My name is Lindsey I am 29 have 3 wonderful children and married to a sufferer of PTSD. My husband and I met and became close friends when we were 12. We started dating before he deployed and jumped into marriage shortly after he returned in 2007. Things were going pretty good when he got home a little on edge, jumpy and would wake in a panic at night and wasnt sleeping well. The only real time there was a problem was when he was drinking. He would drink an entire bottle and get emotional and talk about things. That subsided about a year later. He continued to drink heavily as did I. We started fighting alot. His friend called the police one night because he thought he would hurt me. I know my husband would never hurt me physically. So there was his first DV.
He insisted that I talk with a therapist about my depression and anxiety issue and see what kind of meds would help. He told me that I was bringing him down. I do suffer from Bipolar 2 anxiety disorder and PTSD not combat related though. The doctor put me on meds a thus began finding what worked and so on. He told me he couldnt handle my ups and downs that the drugs caused I ended up getting off the because they made me feel worse.
After we had our son he started drinking even more heavily and it never failed wed end the night fighting about some dumb ass shit and end up forgetting why we were fighting in the first place. I decided that I wasnt going to drink if he was anymore to try and eliminate the fighting. It didnt work and was harder for me to handle. He would keep me up all night telling me I was a peice of shit, a horrible mother and tell me he was taking the baby and leaving. A couple of times he tried to leave with him. He was very good at bilittling me and I was starting to hate everything about him.
Then one night ater hed been drinking he started in with the same shit. I begged him to leave me alone and just talk to me in the morning. I finally got my cousin involved to try and calm him down in hopes I could get some sleep. I went to bed and then he started breaking beer bottles punching holes in walls and just destroying the house. He then smashed a beer bottle on his forhead and told me he was calling the police and telling them I did it. That was my breaking point. I went to call the police first he ripped all the phone cords out so I couldnt. Anyway he went to the hospital and then to jail for his 2nd DV charge. Things were great and he was sorry and things were going to change blahblah... A week later he bonded this gy he met in jail out and brought him home with our 3 kids. Social services got involved during all this and found out what he was doing and forced him to leave the home. That is when the issue that he had PTSD started to arise. Why after 4 years of being together did this now come out? Imnot down playing his condition at all. I know he does have some issues but he was able to hold a job and take care of daily responsibilities. He seemed overall happy and content except when he was drunk.
As soon as he was set up with the VA and they started giving him these mood altering addictive meds he has changed. He never used to say he was having a panic atack or anything. Now he talks about it if he doesnt have his benzos. I know that he is misusing his meds and that he is now addicted.
I guess what I am getting at is why was he for the most part fine for 4 years and then change when things got bad? I feel as though he was using the PTSD as an excuse for his behavior and so the the judge and social services would have pity on him. I hate to think that that and no matter what I am here to support and love him. I am just frustrated and confused.
My name is Lindsey I am 29 have 3 wonderful children and married to a sufferer of PTSD. My husband and I met and became close friends when we were 12. We started dating before he deployed and jumped into marriage shortly after he returned in 2007. Things were going pretty good when he got home a little on edge, jumpy and would wake in a panic at night and wasnt sleeping well. The only real time there was a problem was when he was drinking. He would drink an entire bottle and get emotional and talk about things. That subsided about a year later. He continued to drink heavily as did I. We started fighting alot. His friend called the police one night because he thought he would hurt me. I know my husband would never hurt me physically. So there was his first DV.
He insisted that I talk with a therapist about my depression and anxiety issue and see what kind of meds would help. He told me that I was bringing him down. I do suffer from Bipolar 2 anxiety disorder and PTSD not combat related though. The doctor put me on meds a thus began finding what worked and so on. He told me he couldnt handle my ups and downs that the drugs caused I ended up getting off the because they made me feel worse.
After we had our son he started drinking even more heavily and it never failed wed end the night fighting about some dumb ass shit and end up forgetting why we were fighting in the first place. I decided that I wasnt going to drink if he was anymore to try and eliminate the fighting. It didnt work and was harder for me to handle. He would keep me up all night telling me I was a peice of shit, a horrible mother and tell me he was taking the baby and leaving. A couple of times he tried to leave with him. He was very good at bilittling me and I was starting to hate everything about him.
Then one night ater hed been drinking he started in with the same shit. I begged him to leave me alone and just talk to me in the morning. I finally got my cousin involved to try and calm him down in hopes I could get some sleep. I went to bed and then he started breaking beer bottles punching holes in walls and just destroying the house. He then smashed a beer bottle on his forhead and told me he was calling the police and telling them I did it. That was my breaking point. I went to call the police first he ripped all the phone cords out so I couldnt. Anyway he went to the hospital and then to jail for his 2nd DV charge. Things were great and he was sorry and things were going to change blahblah... A week later he bonded this gy he met in jail out and brought him home with our 3 kids. Social services got involved during all this and found out what he was doing and forced him to leave the home. That is when the issue that he had PTSD started to arise. Why after 4 years of being together did this now come out? Imnot down playing his condition at all. I know he does have some issues but he was able to hold a job and take care of daily responsibilities. He seemed overall happy and content except when he was drunk.
As soon as he was set up with the VA and they started giving him these mood altering addictive meds he has changed. He never used to say he was having a panic atack or anything. Now he talks about it if he doesnt have his benzos. I know that he is misusing his meds and that he is now addicted.
I guess what I am getting at is why was he for the most part fine for 4 years and then change when things got bad? I feel as though he was using the PTSD as an excuse for his behavior and so the the judge and social services would have pity on him. I hate to think that that and no matter what I am here to support and love him. I am just frustrated and confused.
