Reaching My Limit

[pontifixmax]

I feel that I am reaching my limit in my work and my personal life. With work I was assaulted tonight, for the 2nd time in so many months. Like before it was a random attack by a client (I work in a homeless shelter) who came up and shoved me from behind for no apparent reason. While my back hurts what upsets me more is the psychological impact being physically attacked causes. As a result I may not go into work tomorrow since I don't feel safe enough to do what can be a dangerous job, if this makes any sense. Like I mentioned in another thread I watched someone get killed there a few months ago and since then the amount of violence hasn't abated, with people attacking each other with pieces of rebar, 2X4's, knives, knubchucks, you name it, which having to deal with leaves me stressed out. Besides all this I've been struggling with a lot of stuff in my personal life. Lately it feels like my depression has been coming back, perhaps due to the in-depth recovery work I've been doing to do with childhood abuse, as well as with not sleeping and eating properly. Quite frankly the thought of slipping into depression again scares the hell out of me. I've been trying my best to change my negative thinking but its not working. My worst fear is slipping into it deeply enough to not care if I start drinking again, which in all honesty would kill me in the end. Anyways I don't know what if anything I want or need from anyone here. I just needed to express it. JS

 

[Okimuk]

So sorry about your work situation. It makes complete sense for you to not go back there tomorrow or ever! I don't really know what advice I can give but I'm here to listen and give support.

 

[missd84]

I am sorry to hear what you are going through but I think your reaction is normal. I hope things get better soon. Take it easy.

 

[Gamereign555]

Do whatever you can do get good sleep, develop good habits of sleeping at same times for the same amounts of time, take medications if you have to. I made the decision to get better sleep and it paid off for me, so much of my anxiety was due to lack of sleep, and it made my other stresses unmanageable, continue with therapy as well. If you have to take anti anxiety meds just to sleep, so be it.

 

[pontifixmax]

Thanks for your suggestions and support. I agree that getting good sleep is everything but I really don't want to take anything pharmaceutical to help with it. As a recovering alcoholic I don't want to risk developing another dependency. Continuing therapy, however, is essential to my well being. It took me along time to find a good counsellor and I won't give that up for anything.