Reactions-coincidence Or Paranoia

[mamachick]

I just found out my abuser-the man who asaulted me in 2008 was a patient in the office in which I worked. I could have had access to records but I did not. However, he had a hatred toward me as though I knew about him. I did not. All this time later, I discover that he had a reason to fear me. He was a police officer and I could have very well known about his diagnosis and anger managment. I did not know. Now I think I know better why he felt intimidated by me and why he assaulted me. Am I just crazy and this is just a coincidnece? Or does anybody else think this is the reason to assault me?

 

[Sqweak]

There is no reason for that person to do what he had done, though there seems to be a lot of coincidences because he knew who you were and assumed a lot of things about you.

 

[mamachick]

My daughter thinks he just has an anger issue and I made him mad because in my town a cop can tell a woman to give him a b job and if she does not follow-she will be arrested or harrassed. I know well because I spent 8 years working with their victims. He told me to do something that was not lawful so he assaulted me. He says he thought that I was someone else, however, now I learn that he had been to the same office I worked in and saw a therapist there. My anxiety level is so high at this moment. It would be better if it were random. The town sends the message not to stand up for victims or you will be one. That angers me horribly.

 

[anthony]

Agree with Squeak...

You are not responsible for what that patient had convinced themself off, all without any substance or fact.

Its actually the same argument when trying to help someone see who owns what guilt and blame within an event. Don't own what you don't own, accept what you do own, but NEVER take another's blame as your own.

He person could have any number of mental illness issues, psychotic aspects, known or unknown to himself or medical practitioners, or just be an abusive person.

 

[mamachick]

I might not have explained well as I was really upset but have calmed now.
I met a woman today through a mutual friend. She was married/divorcing the cop when he went off on me and assaulted me. She said he had not been abusive to her physically but was mentally. She said he had anger issues and broke things and punched walls regularly. She said that they went to counseling and the therapist said that he needed anger management (all prior to him assaulting me). His mother was bi polar and he was displaying bi polar behavior. Then she told me what T he was seeing anger management for and it was in the office in which I worked part time. The T was my supervisor.

My supervisor came and saw me in the hospital and asked who did this and I told her. She could not say anything because of confidentiality of course. We live in an area where many of these men very much dislike women who help others out of abuse and hold abusers accountable. When I was assaulted, I had left my job for health reasons just six months before. Its a very small community. After he assaulted me, he insulted me about my education and made other personal comments that were correct. Yet at the time, he insisted I was someone else. I am now certain that he knew who I was and that I stand up for victims.

Anthony you are righ that I do feel like there is something wrong that he targetted me to take his anger out on, and I know that it is his problem and he is still out doing this. He assaulted someone every christmas for three years in a row.

 

[Srain]

Brat, as victims I don't think it's unusual to try to find ways or reasons how we could have made it something WE did inadvertently. It somehow gives us a sense of power to protects us against it ever happening again. You were the "victim" he was the "perpetrator", that's it! You did nothing to deserve what he did to you, NOTHING!! That's the hardest part and the most important part of healing, putting blame where it belongs. I am finally really learning this.

(((((Brat)))))))

Rain

 

[mamachick]

OMG you are all so right. I am trying to make a reason rather than be a random because if its just random, there is no way I can ever prevent it again. A good night sleep helps to understand things.
Thank you all